Stars: They’re Just Like Penn Students

Ever feel like your life could totally be a reality TV show? Were there three Shoutouts just about you? If so, you’re likely an egotistical, attention-hoarding drama king and your friends hate you. On the upside, UTB is coming out with a new feature just for you. By comparing our readers to the celebs they idolize, we remind you that stardom really is just around the corner, waiting to jump out at you from a bush. So is every campus squirrel, so be careful walking around with open burritos.

But enough dilly-dallying—follow us down this week’s red (and blue) carpet!

They get excited about opportunities in DC: Last night marked the 98th annual White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner, which meant many of our celebrity friends flocked to the nation’s capital like a bunch of PoliSci majors tryna land an internship with Obama. Except if the PoliSci majors were self-important, unregistered Comm majors instead.

More relatable tales of sex, drugs and scandal after the jump.