Zoinks! We just heard that Google launched a video chat option for Gmail today. Um, this is totally going to transform our lives and force us to stop posting false status messages that we are in the library when in fact we never actually left the house. Since we had so much fun testing out PennCourseReviewED.com and the new BlackBerry Bold, we decided to take this new video chat thingamabob out for a spin.
Made-for-UTB dramatization.
The verdict? People will think you’re super cool for having a little video camera as your icon, but after the novelty wears off, we don’t actually want to see the people we’re chatting with. That’s like, the whole point of the internet. Still a cool way to waste time, though. Happy videochatting, everyone!
I have never been so insulted in all my life. OK fine, so maybe I’m overreacting, but gmail and I are officially in a fight. A few weeks ago, when I read about mail goggles, the feature that makes you solve basic math problems before sending an email late at night on weekends, I chuckled at the concept but decided not to enable the feature (texts are more my forte). And yet, somehow, on a night when I forced myself to stay in and study for my massive midterm instead of going out, gmail prevented me from sending an email. To myself. Phew, that was a close call. Thanks, assholes! I couldn’t believe the sheer obnoxiousness of making my overstressed, overtired, sick-of-staring-at-a-computer-screen brain solve five math problems, and it didn’t help that there was a little clock counting down to the moment I would be stripped of my emailing privileges. With 30 seconds to go, I finally got to work.
The embarrassing part of this story is that I was completely sober, and yet I still failed to solve a basic arithmetic problem. 42-23 is in no way shape or form 17. It’s just not. (I so did not deserve that math award I won in high school.) And yet this is the spazzed-out answer I gave gmail, who proceeded to tell me to drink some water and go to bed. The nerve. No, gmail, I think it’s time for YOU to drink some water and go to bed. And so’s your face. And also, suck it.
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We were reading The Spin yesterday, as we are wont to do, and we have to agree that Gmail is totally awesome. But we also have to play devil’s advocate for a sec and point out that we sometimes find Gmail a tad bit… oppressive. In fact, we’re afraid it’s taking over our lives. Consider this: for the past year or so, we’ve had a recurring dream about our Gmail inbox. Nothing much happens, and the whole thing pretty much consists of us either getting or not getting mail, but it is still one goddamn stressful dream! Because the thing about Gmail is that it’s always on. You don’t have to press reload; it updates itself. You don’t have to add people to your buddy list; everyone you e-mail magically appears in your contacts. If you use Gchat (and more and more people do everyday), your contacts can always tell what you’re up to–you can be halfway across the world, but if that green light is on, everyone knows that you’re sitting in front of a computer, available for chat.
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For those of you who don’t spend 100% of your internet time on facebook and reading celebrity gossip, political and shopping blogs like me (and I’m kickass), I would like to inform you that the recent Ivy-Graduates-in-San-Fransisco-Constituency, also known as “Team Google” have created a new feature to prevent you from writing drunk emails.
Mail Goggles, as they are called, note a frequency in typos and interrupt your rant to an ex with math equations. If you are competent enough to solve said problems, you may continue your well-wishing of the syph and herpes.
Now, this idea could work if your emails looks like this: djklfasdlkfjaklghah. While this may be beneficial to some, I have to ask: how many of you actually drunk email?
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What happens when you google Google? This.
Understandably, banks have lost some of their luster as the most prestigious and douchebag-esque thing to do after graduation. What’s taken their place? Oh, just this search engine thing, Google. Oh, you’ve heard of it? You were one of the bazillions of people who submitted your resume?
Hmmph. Us too. Check out the cease and desist letter Career Services sent out to all Seniors in the College:
Please note, the Google Initiatives in Africa session scheduled for tomorrow is now CLOSED and they are no longer accepting resumes.
This event is by invitation only.
While Google appreciates the large number of students who are interested in this initiative, ONLY STUDENTS WHO RECEIVE AN EMAIL CONFIRMATION from Andrea Powers WILL BE ADMITTED TO THE EVENT.
