FeaturesMay 28, 2014 at 3:30 pm

2014: A Belated Sendoff

Can you believe it’s been over a week since our beloved Class of 2014 officially became post grads? Here at UTB, it’s a little hard to fathom…which is why it’s taken us this long to publish a legit congratulatory post. In the time since the seniors bid adieu to the Red and the Blue, they’ve already impressed us with their accomplishments – be that Eurotripping, Netflixing at home, moving to a new city, starting a new job or just publishing a heavily-liked dramatic Facebook status. It’s just the beginning.

John Legend has had a particularly productive nine days since Commencement, with his speech going viral and (more importantly) serenading Kimye with “All of Me.”

But Kardashians be damned, Under the Button wants to take this time to celebrate our graduates, who we already miss too much. Mazel Tov to our contributors Elysse Gorney (HBD!), Lindsey Lansky and Frida Garza and to our inimitable 2013 Editor-in-Chief Jesse Franklin. And a particular UTBeso to Senior Editor Rachel Zurier, a blog heroine since 2012 whose prose (and email responsibility) has enlightened us for two years and 129 posts. Her iconic Finals-Time Poem will live on as she fixes Times Square. We love you, RZ!

To the rest of 2014: we hope you’re loving life as a Penn alum. Come back to visit. As we go on, we remember all the times we had together.

XOXO,
Ben & The Edz

FeaturesMay 22, 2014 at 3:00 pm

Things To Accomplish Before Summer Ends

turtle beachAh, summertime: a glorious three months sans Ivy Fatigue that many of us choose to fill with classes and internships anyway. Be yourself! Live a little! are just two of the things on UTB’s li’l checklist to help you make the most of summer. Third? Take a sec to admire this corgi’s patience ↗

Wherever you are and whatever you’re doing this summer, here’s the rest of that list:

❏ Finish the episodes of ‘Game of Thrones’ you didn’t get through during reading days
❏ Father’s Day is June 15th. Do something with that information.
❏ Former freshmen: lose the 15
❏ Penn ’15: get vaccinated for senioritis Read the rest of this entry »

FeaturesMay 21, 2014 at 8:17 pm

People Who Went To Penn: Elisha Kane

Elisha KaneGraduation is a time that reminds us all to think about what we want to accomplish in our lives. Too bad we’ll never out do Elisha Kane, who accomplished a shit ton of stuff despite having a name that probably got him beat up in the playground as a child. 

During his time here, he contracted rheumatic fever, which inspired him to graduate Penn’s med school in 1842—and also made him an immunological badass for surviving the sickness.

Post-graduation, he joined the Navy (read: have a totally amazing study abroad). If Kane were alive today, he’d start his study abroad stories with “Remember that time I negotiated a peace treaty with China” or “OMG do you remember when we were scaling that volcano in the Philippines but I so had to pee and…”

But after becoming ill again (and surviving again), he was sent by the US government for a dangerous Mexican-American War mission. As if he wasn’t already badass enough, he was able to survive a lance wound, and complete the task. Such a modern day Tom Cruise.

During an 1855 Arctic expedition on the USS Advance, EK wrote what would become his famous novel, Arctic Explorations. The book was used as both an informational guide and as a really good title for a porno that takes place in an igloo.

He fit all his heroics into a mere 37 years, and his funeral was the largest ever in America—until Lincoln’s a couple of years later. We thank Kane for his bravery, insight into the Arctic, and the ability to make anyone feel bad for not accomplishing anything in their lives. Hats off to you, you overachieving Penn alum.

ShutterButtonFebruary 19, 2014 at 10:44 am

ShutterButton: Madame Commencement Speaker

Hey juniors, do you remember all the hip historical happenings from the year you were born? No? Okay, well history lesson time! 1993 was the year Hillary Clinton officially became First Lady and then casually stopped by Penn to deliver the class’s commencement address (and pose with B-Frank, awk).  However, with the choice for the 2014 speaker  just released as John Legend, we can’t help but wonder if Hill would approve of the beloved (yet sultryR&B singer as one of her successors. Don’t worry, Ms. Potential POTUS, we will still always love your feminism,  that fabulous resting bitch face, and those timeless pantsuits, no matter what John tries to seduce us with in May.

Graduation Speaker Announced--Come May, the Class of 2013 will be hearing a commencement address by...Macklemore Joe Biden! We're sorta hoping there's a mixup with next week's speaker. Check out the DP for more details.
ShutterButtonFebruary 27, 2013 at 10:05 am

ShutterButton: Retro Commencement

resolverPictured here is the class of 1930′s commencement ceremony in the oh-so-historic Palestra. Yes, seniors, this is a wake up call reminding you that you’re getting closer to the real world and that in three months, your commencement ceremony will also be added to the archives (tear). Don’t forget to register to walk, and just be glad that your ceremony won’t take place in a tightly packed building with no air conditioning. Talk about major sweat stains on that super cute Elsa Shiaparelli dress.

Seniors, don't forget to apply for graduation! Fill out this form by Friday. Or else.
NewsMay 18, 2012 at 11:32 am

8 Reasons To Watch The Graduation Videos

You’re sitting at home during the most awkward three weeks of your life. Your internship hasn’t started yet, and there’s only so many more times you can leaf through “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” and your high school yearbook. So sit back, break out the Penn Alumni sweatshirt, and enjoy your grad vids. As if you need any more urging, we present you with a list of reasons to relive your last 15 minutes as a Quaker.

8) Amy’s charge to the graduates of “You do nothing by half-measure—including your celebrating!” applies to you a little bit too much, considering you can’t remember her telling you this when she first said it. Read the rest of this entry »

FeaturesMay 2, 2012 at 12:46 pm

Things That Are Worse Than Finals III

It’s day 3 of finals and you’re smacking  yourself for not doing the reading in any of your classes. Suddenly, Psych, Marketing and Environmental Science don’t seem like “all common sense” anymore.

Next semester’s gonna be totally different, you tell yourself. And you’re even gonna take notes! In a real, live notebook! Designed by Lisa Frank.

While this promise will probably be kept about as well as the time you swore off Greek Lady for a week, we want to believe you. And in the spirit of this uplifting trust,we bring you the third installment of this optimistic feature. (Parts 1 and 2 can also be found after the jump.) Update: All the links work properly now! Sorry for the confusion.
Read the rest of this entry »

NewsApril 4, 2012 at 7:42 pm

Hendrickson to Speak at College Graduation Ceremony

The School of Arts and Sciences announced yesterday that prize-winning, best-selling author, and Penn English/Writing Professor Paul Hendrickson will deliver the address at the College ceremony on Sunday, May 13. Hendrickson is the author of numerous critically acclaimed works of non-fiction, and before joining the CPCW faculty was a feature writer for the Washington Post.

The trustworthy Penn Course Review reveals that Hendrickson has an average professor rating of 3.9. If that’s any indication of how interesting/insightful he will be on stage, we’re excited. If not, well…at least we won’t have to think too hard during the speech.

Stay tuned for updates as the other undergraduate schools announce their speakers.