Because Metro’s are probably too big and clunky to warrant the effort. Using our Nancy Drew problem-solving skills, we figure that the thief needed accomplices, a getaway truck, a couple of balaclavas and the balls to take on the best granola in the country. But every story has two sides, so maybe this is some kind of twisted karma for Metro after trying to pass off that dragonfly salad on an unsuspecting customer. Who knows!

We pegged Metropolitan Bakery less granola-crunching and more BBMing-while-latte-sipping, but food blog Epicurius begs to differ. They deemed Metro’s granola the best in the entire country! Our little hangover haven beat out seventeen other recipes to claim such an honor.

But just because the morning hotspot has reached fame and fortune doesn’t mean they’re going to forget the neighborhood homies. To celebrate the big victory, they’re offering 20% off the granola from now until September 8th.