There is so much really, really weird fun stuff to do at the Penn Bookstore today! Where do we even begin?
You can get a psychic reading. “Lisa Barretta will be on-site signing copies of her brand new book, The Street-Smart Psychic’s Guide to Getting the Good Reading. Get a mini-reading and enter for a free, complete psychic reading!” From 12 to 2!
You can have a creepy, Walmart-style family portrait taken. Or a solo shot. “Free professional photo in a winter scene setting – one per individual or group photos.” From 1 to 6, today and tomorrow.
You can buy yourself another Penn hoodie. There’s 20% off sale “on a wide selection of merchandise.” This includes “toys for babies and tots” as well as “games for family,” so it sounds like a definite don’t miss.
With December, comes many things — some good (pretty snow, spiked hot chocolate, A-Gut’s holiday party which we are SO attending next Monday) and some really, really bad (sub-freezing temperatures, finals, more finals). Our favorite thing about Penn in December? The lights on Locust Walk! Sorry for the crappy photo quality, but here’s to making the walk to Van Pelt a little less miserable.
If you’re stuck in a windowless study spot like some people we know photographed, you might be totally oblivious to the fact that it is snowing right now. Snowing a TON. We’re about to don our mittens and head out to bring you some photos from campus, so check back soon.
In the meantime, prepare your sleds. We’ll see you on that slightly elevated hill behind Gregory.
Today marks one of Mexico’s most misunderstood holidays: Cinco de Mayo. Thought by naive gringos to be Mexican’s Independence Day (it’s not), the occasion was co-opted by Mexican-Americans and has turned into more of a Mexican Saint Patrick’s Day than a celebration of the Mexican army’s victory in 1862. Regardless, it is a festive day loved and enjoyed by college students the world over, and UTB finds it incredibly unfortunate that what should be a day of raucous debauchery and revelry has to fall during finals.
“Distrito enjoys its first Cinco de Mayo with two parties. Starting at 11:30am the first floor will feature DJs throughtout the day plus $5 Mexican street food snacks and $5 drink specials like sangria and margaritas. Upstairs a special $35 dinner menu will be offered.”
And for those of you who may be wary, 35 bucks is about how much you should expect a filling meal at the Mexican tapas restaurant to cost anyway.
Sat alone in my house on the couch eating the granola pieces out of my Smart Start while trying to drown out the moans of my subletter Michael (an engineering student from Drexel) and one of his many “friends” with episodes of Curb. (FML?)
Penn kids are very smart. Which means they are inherently socially inept, especially when it comes to dealing with members of the opposite sex. But fear not — I’m looking out for you, so on this Valentine’s Day you can pull off some fairly normal human interaction. Or at least fake it really really well.
First off: do you have a date? If so, you’re more than halfway there. If you buy someone dinner they’re obligated to put out and vice versa. But if its the first time you’re touching a living thing since that Bio dissection you did last semester, you’re going to need a little guidance. The “base system” from the days of yore still applies, albeit with some additional nuances. The folks over at xkcd were kind enough to diagram it for y’all. Read the rest of this entry »
In this age of text messages and Twitter, there’s no shortage of ways to contact that special someone this Valentine’s Day. But doesn’t a singing telegram say much more than a less-than sign and the number three (read: <3) ever could? Thank goodness the old-timey crooners of Penn’s Glee Club are offering Singing Valentines, deliverable both over the phone and during class. Yes, for $5, you can have a bunch of kids in blazers interrupt your lecture and sing to that girl or guy you’ve been crushing on. And proceeds go to Habitat for Humanity. Seriously, this is awesome. Check out the Facebook event here and place your orders here. Below, a preview.
Yesterday might have kicked off Feb Club and the Steelers may have won the Superbowl, but those events are nothing–-nothing!-–compared to the glory of today. Today is Groundhog Day. While it’s not actually my favorite holiday of the year (Oh New Year’s, you’re always such a letdown, but I’ll love you forever), it’s up there. Groundhog Day celebrates the world’s all-time most ludicrous superstition: that a groundhog, a furry, big-toothed, relatively unintelligent rodent, can predict how much more winter there will be based on whether it sees its shadow. Its shadow. Seriously. The largest stronghold of prophesying not-quite-rats is right here in PA; we live only a short 4 hours and 53 minutes from Punxsutawney, home of Punxsutawney Phil, so if you leave now…well, you won’t make it, but there’s always next year.
But aside from the wonderful fact that otherwise intelligent (probably?) adults cluster around burrows to see whether or not a marmot has a shadow, Groundhog Day also inspired one of the most brilliant movies of all time. Groundhog Day is such a perfect movie, I can forgive Andie MacDowell her vapidness (which is saying something, because she is really vapid). For those who haven’t seen it: Bill Murray stars as Phil, asshole weatherman, who wakes up every morning to learn that it’s February 2nd, again, and he’s in Punxsutawney, where they take this amazingly stupid holiday verrrrrry seriously. Hilarity ensues.
Snow blanketed the eastern seaboard yesterday, and despite the picturesque quality it lent to our homecoming, today we find ourselves still snowed in and thus unable to partake in our favorite winter break activities: visiting the mall. Luckily, our internet connection is working and amazon.com is almost as good as the real thing. What follows is a last-minute holiday gift guide, conveniently featuring items that can be purchased online and shipped to you by December 24th. (We’re leaving out the gift suggestions that have already beenposted about. And if you’re wondering whether “holiday gift guide” is a label that’s being used to mask the fact that this is really just a list of stuff your editor wants, well…so be it.)
I’ve recently discovered that I am too old to mooch off my parents when I want to give my friends presents. Bursar got me through this little snafu for a while, but the ‘rents have totally caught on, and anyway, I feel guilty spending money on Everyone Poops (an awesome gift, BTDubs) when the economy is imploding on itself. So what to do?
The answer: send an e-card from jibjab.com, the amazing geniuses who brought us “This Land” during the 2004 election (in which John Kerry was very proud of having won the purple heart “thrice”). In just a few short minutes, you can put the heads of yourself and your loved ones onto bodies that are energetically getting down tonight. You’ve never seen anyone disco like this before; my personal favorite part is the enthusiastic grinding. It’s totally free, and ridiculously funny. I’m still laughing at the one I made with my parents’ heads 3 weeks ago.
But don’t take my word for it. Here’s a sample, with my head and the head of my hot with a double T co-editor, Julie. (Sorry, Julie, I made you the guy.) Happy holidays.