We don’t know if that traditional sporty March Madness is still going on, but we do know this: after a cutthroat week-long battle of the bracket, the winner of the third edition of PENN MADNESS has emerged. And just in time for that other miracle, Easter! A hearty congratulations to… H U R R I C A N E S A N D Y !
Tonight may bring the belated announcement of our Spring Fling headliner, but if (when) the result is disappointing: we still have our April 19th concert featuring John Legend and Train! Our Penn Madness runners-up (47% of the popular vote!) will be sure to make history, and hopefully won’t hold a grudge that Sandy edged them out for the grand prize. You’re still our favorite Grammy-winning Alum/astronomy-loving band dream team! If Olivia Newton-John wants to make a guest appearance, we won’t complain. For now, the reigning queen can just complement Madame President’s blonde glory (above).
Few of us are praying that finals continue forever. The impending end of the semester cannot come soon enough for most of the student body, which unanimously agreed it is “totes miserable” and is only surviving on junk food and hourly kvetch sessions.
But if you take advantage of the silver linings to still being here, you may want to miss your flight home on the 20th (you must be, like, the only person at this school with an exam on the last day). Okay, you may still want to fast-forward to spending the days couch potato-ing with your dog(s), but you are #blessed! Philly is your oyster! If you were home now, you wouldn’t be able to:
- Turn your sadness into happy hour. Treat yoself to dranks at any of University City’s daily happy hours to turn that frown upside down! Then stumble into Van Pelt and write a paper tipsy, you tortured artist, you.
- Ignore parental nags. When you’re under the same roof as momma, tensions are going to rise if you don’t X, Y and Z right now. At dear old Penn, you just get occasional texts reminding you to go outside and eat greens. Read the rest of this entry »
As fun as it is to stroll down picturesque Locust Walk during the holiday season, we must warn our dear readers to be careful. Countess the Hawk of Locust is back with a vengeance, this time striking a diva pose outside Joe’s Cafe. Just look how clear she is in this terrifyingly un-Photoshopped photo from a tipster! Everyone in the Penn community (especially one Madame President, out and about) must beware of the wrath of the Locust Hawk.
It’s pretty hush-hush, but there’s a super-dramatic presidential race going on between Mitt Zombie and BOOrack Obama. Spooky! Anyway, whether or not you’re in the know of this election, the Penn Political Coalition is currently presenting Political Action Week, which promises to be as exciting as it is alliterative (please pledge to go to polls!). Hurricane Sandy may have stolen the thunder of Amy’s Halloween Party, but the PPC is proudly cramming in as much political proactivity as possible over the next three days.
A full schedule of events can be found here and on Facebook, but the fun kicks off tonight in Huntsman at 7 (you can still get A-Gut’s desserts) with Obama’s Cabinet Secretary Christopher Lu. Don’t worry about political bias, though: College Republicans will be screening the controversial documentary 2016: Obama’s America tomorrow in Huntsman at 6 p.m. And of course, the festivities will conclude with a free food Schmoozer on Friday, before the PPC starts its weekend pre-election panic (more Ps!).
Fresh off the news of Kal Penn’s visit to campus, SPEC has announced its fall Connaissance speaker: HuffPo empress and namesake Arianna Huffington. Penn will speak at Irvine two days before the election and Arianna will (joyously or mournfully) take the auditorium the night after America heads to the ballots. Needless to say, Penn will not be lacking star power the week after next.
Huffington has a lot of accomplishments under her designer belt, like having a top online news site and content aggregator, founding the first digital media enterprise to win a Pulitzer and getting spoofed on SNL, but her greatest honor to date will surely be having the most popular college president introduce her at Penn. That’s right, A-Huff and A-Gutt are BFFs! Tickets ($5 in advance) for the November 7 post-election powwow are now on sale online and on Locust – don’t miss out on Arianna making Penn her little potato pancake.
Let’s face it: as nice as it is to see our loved ones on Family Weekend, after a few hours, they’re overstaying their welcome. If your grandma is being judgmental and getting overall embarrassing, why allow them loiter on Locust? This weekend is the perfect opportunity to get to hotspots on campus and in University City that you’ve never made it to – and on your parents’ dime. So don’t let the fam mess with your rep! After you’ve covered the worthwhile FW events, make them to take you where you’d never make it otherwise:
1) Morris Arboretum: Mom and dad came with a car! Oh, the luxury. Take the short drive to Morris, which is operated by Penn and is casually the official arboretum of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. And there is tons of flora. This weekend is especially convenient because the Scarecrow Walk opens tomorrow and Sunday is the annual Fall Festival! Feel the autumn spirit in the pumpkin patch and revel in the biodiversity. Read the rest of this entry »
Every year at Convocation, Madame President calls the freshman class the best and brightest in Penn’s history. But yesterday seven especially best and bright Penn students received the prestigious Thouron Award. The award has been given annually since its establishment in 1960 and promotes a relationship between Penn and British universities. Recipients get to pursue graduate at the British university of their choice with up to two years of financial support. Congrats to the lucky seven:
- Besan Abu-Joudeh, statistics and international studies major (School of Oriental and African Studies at the University of London)
- Ava Childers, 2010 graduate who majored in classical studies and anthropology (Cambridge)
- David Dunning, English and mathematics major (Cambridge)
- Alison Feder, mathematics major (Oxford)
- Myles Karp, anthropology major (Oxford)
- Michael Masciandaro, history and English major (Cambridge)
- Eliana Ritts, business and public policy and international studies major (Oxford)
- Katie Wynbrandt, political science and English major (Oxford)
Across the pond, a handful of Brits win Thouron Awards and get two complimentary years at Penn! Sweet deal.
Penn recently debuted its new mobile website that users can access from their iPhones/Blackberries/whatever. This snazzy little site gives updates about public safety, libraries and sports, in addition to providing maps and an Amy Gutmann tracker (we wish). Pretty neat, right?
You can access the mobile Penn website at m.upenn.edu. Check it out!
Man, it seems like only yesterday we got Penn Park, and already the university has decided to march onward and claim something else. This time, reports Philly.com, it’s 23 acres around 34th and Grays Ferry that’s gonna be some parks and research and… oh, whatever, we’re not going to be around to see it anyways.
So instead, let’s focus on how many conquistadora names we can make for President Gutmann. El Guto. La Doble-En-ey. La Gutadora. Valiantly, she sails down the Schuylkill on the Best, the Brightest, and the Santa Bioethical Issues. Schoolchildren will chorus:
“In the year two-thousand ten, lots more land was had for Penn.”
