At least one professor at Penn knows what college is really about: finding your future spouse, duh. A recent study by Penn’s Econ department shows that “assertive mating,” or the tendency for high-income college-educated men and women to marry each other, leads to greater income inequality in the US. Who knew that roaming Huntsman Hall to find “the one” could be so destructive?
Here’s some advice: instead of loitering outside of Domus, maybe find your future spouse somewhere else. Like on Tinder or…Drexel. Your parents might be a little upset you didn’t bring home a nice Jewish boy, but hey, at least you’re making the world a better place! Socialite Rose and penniless Jack turned out okay, right?
Polar Vortex. The last thing you want to do is leave the warmth and coziness of your beloved GSR. Additionally, every second you’re stuck standing in line at the Bridge Café is a waste of your Netflix-in-GSR-time, while your inbox slowly collects emails from your Mom asking, “How is OCR going sweetie?”
One MGMT 230 group has the solution. Penn Food 4 Thought is a service that allows students to place an order from a select number of local food trucks, and then pick up the order in a Huntsman GSR. Sooo it’s basically GrubHub. The food trucks currently being offered are Hemos, Bento Box, Koja, and Lyn’s.
Let the laziness commence! Place all of your orders here, and let’s hope that all sorority girl favorite Magic Carpet gets added to the list. Can we get an ammmmennnn?
As you may have read in this morning’s DP, Huntsman GSRs are getting freshly remodeled in 2016. This of course makes sense; in one of the newest buildings on campus, the highest-tech and most-exclusive study areas are getting renovated. OF COURSE!
Listen, we’re not stupid. We know that you can’t just magically reallocate Huntsman GSR money to, say, giving Hill air conditioning or exterminating the massive extended family of possums that have overtaken campus. Even so, is this strictly necessary? The article cites changes that will include “more private” screens, chairs and carpets that are “easier to clean,” and a whiteboard to allow students to more freely express themselves. And on the eighth day, having justified transforming Huntsman GSRs into porn-viewing/sex havens, the Wharton gods rested.
Hello lovely gentlemen: the Vagina Monologues want you! Go celebrate sexual Wednesday with VagMons, PCUW, ASAP, and 1 in 4 as they host “A Call to Men”, an event dedicated to examining and challenging the socialization of men. Ted Bunch, co-founder of A Call to Men, will be speaking about male social norms, culture, and traditional images of manhood.
As if the promo’s charming lads haven’t excited you enough (check your pulse), the event supports a national movement to end violence.
When: Wednesday, December 4th 6:30-8:30PM
Where: JMHH G06
Who: Men (see title) and women.
When it comes to classes (sorry to bring it up), we have all sat on Penn InTouch and thought about who we would sit next to, prayed to not have classes with our ex(es), and wondered whether our future spouse would take the 9am or 11am lecture.
One Penn student has put an end to our worries. Meet Abhi Ramesh, Huntsman junior and creator of Penn Class Lists, which gives you access to a COMPLETE student roster for all of your classes!
A self-taught coder, Abhi created Penn Class Lists during his own class registration when he received emails asking who was in which classes. After realizing that Wharton students could access class lists while college and engineering classes could not (c’mon Penn!), he decided to build PCL.
Students login through Facebook for authentication, and then VOILA! You can see the name of every student who is registered for any class like magic.
Free Coffee -- Just like every other semester during finals, Bridge Cafe in Huntsman is giving away free cups o' Joe from 9PM-12AM, starting TONIGHT! Seniors, these may be the last dining dollars you ever spend!
The wee hours of the morning in Huntsman Hall may trick your brain into seeing a mirage, but this is one possibly-Photoshopped image that you won’t be able to get out of your head: a naked woman standing on the Forum steps.
If you’re thinking this must be a money-making scheme, you’re not so far from the truth. Senior in the Huntsman Program Sarah Meyohas launched a website tonight, businessnude, to sell postcards with NSFW (Not Safe For Wharton) photos of classmate Danielle Swanner posing nude in JMHH.
Each souvenir is yours for only $5 (or $15 for the whole collection), assuming you gain access to the password-protected site (hint: getnaked).
Between spamming listservs, changing her cover photo, and posting in the Class of 2013 Facebook group, Sarah is trying to go viral. In her words, “The project is about distribution, its currency as image, especially material.” Huh?
We’re sort of speechless. All we have to say Sarah (and Danielle) is…add us on Snapchat?
Jon M. Huntsman, Jr. has something to say about gay marriage, and it’s not what one might expect from such a prominent conservative. In an article he wrote on TheAmericanConservative.com, Huntsman takes a critical look at what today’s conservatism stands for. More importantly, he takes a stand on marriage equality:
Today we have an opportunity to do more: conservatives should start to lead again and push their states to join the nine others that allow all their citizens to marry. I’ve been married for 29 years. My marriage has been the greatest joy of my life. There is nothing conservative about denying other Americans the ability to forge that same relationship with the person they love.
Huntsman also discusses marriage equality in the realm of religion. He makes the point that religious institutions will not be forced by the state to recognize gay marriage, reinforcing the prominence and importance of the separation of church and state.
Great work, Jon Jr. Does this mean we can put Safe Space stickers on the front doors of Huntsman Hall?
Huntsman's Consolation Prize: Board Of Trustees–
There's only room for one true president
on campus, which is why we sure are happy to welcome former GOP presidential candidate Jon Huntsman Jr. to Penn's Board of Trustees after an 11-year hiatus, as the DP reports
. "Penn was like family," Huntsman Jr. '87 was reported as saying upon acceptance of the position. Yeah, sure, whatever
And just like that, the two Au Bon Pains (Aux Bons Pains?) in Huntsman were cleared out this week to make room for the new farm-to-fork cafés arriving in August. “Not enough selection and long lines,” Wharton said of the fast-casual eatery. “Why does this egg sandwich taste like kitty litter?” we asked of the often disappointing lunch spot.
In closing, Comic Sans is probably not the way you want to be remembered, ABP.