We don’t usually bring you grad news, but we’d like to nevertheless announce the completion of Golkin Hall on Sansom Street. This new building is the capstone on a 10-year project renovating the Penn Law campus.
That’s all well and good, and while we’re very happy for the University, we’d like to especially congratulate the residents of Kings Court and the patrons of Baby Blue’s for essentially staying in the labor room throughout the entire noisy and painful birth of this new building. (Metaphors. Live ‘em. Love ‘em.)
Click here for the official press release as well as some adorable baby pictures.
Heroic as this effort is, we think it’ll take more than a sign to stop the gross antics of these KC jokers.
The way we eat at dining halls is changing a little bit, and whether or not you want to debate the cause, we all must be prepared to make the most out of mealtimes. Upperclassmen, if you haven’t heard, it’s becoming substantially harder to get swiped in by
jailbait pledges younger friends deserving of your mentorship. We’ve got the scoop on the direction meal swipes are headed, plus some creative ways to get around the new restrictions.
- Each day, when students swipe into the dining halls, there is a record kept in a system of who swiped in, the time, the date and other information like that.
- When students swipe in 3 times in rapid succession, that is recorded in the system as, for example, “Amy Gutmann” three times in a row with time stamps (essentially, it’s very obvious).
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Keep up the good work, Penn Dining.
This visual gem was sent to us by a tipster in King’s Court. Imagine the confusion of all the hungover diners this morning when they walked over to the cereal thinking, “I’m going to make a healthfully conscious decision and spend my $13 swipe on a bowl of Special K(rap) so I can puke up something other than Vodka Red Bull later,” but instead they were greeted with a sassy lil’ snap, crackle and pop pop! Also, “fruit” loops? We may be Penn students, but we know our grammatically counterintuitive breakfast foods. KC, we love you girlfriend, but this time you got served.
Freshmen, why do you nail cookies to stuff? Find better things to do with the excesses of your meal plans, like swiping us in.
We’re still trying to figure out what the hell just happened here. Like… what? These awesome “activists” are apparently fighting back against the recent health violations by… stealing ice cream. And putting up a poster. About turd. Bonus points for the creative costumes!
Vigilantes, we salute you for taking a stand against one of the most important issues in the world. Keep fighting the good fight, and don’t let the [Gut]man[n] keep you down. PS- to the dancing afro: hope we see you out on the floor. You got sick moves.