While you may have thought PDA couples were the only thing annoying everyone on Locust over V-day weekend, this snow-phobic fellow was out there to prove us all wrong. The intrepid traveler journeyed into Saturday’s wintry mix with this umbrella/possible storefront awning that appears to have taken up a solid 65% of 38th Street Bridge. While the debate about whether umbrellas in the snow are actually a thing rages on, we also applaud this guy’s generosity as he helped protect his fellow adventurer. But until you can look like this while using an umbrella, we recommend a hood next time.
Ahem, introducing UTB’s five shiny new contributors! Here they are, shivering in front the all-seeing Button last night, just after getting a blindfolded tour of our beautiful campus and just before getting initiated into the Upsilon Tau Beta bloggerhood. Don’t worry, things never got as hazy as that uggo pollution plume in front of the Love statue. Here’s to bringing you more hilarity and hijinks on the daily.
Flyerers, we commend you on your commitment to your causes. Standing out in the cold takes chutzpah! Can’t say we’re gonna come to your events, but you have earned our respect.
West Philly Swingers present: The Adventures of Superlead and Wonderfollow
We don’t really get
The title of your show but
Can’t go wrong with swing!
SPEC Concerts presents: The Neighbourhood
Dark pop band of dudes
SPEC is redeeming itself
Concert on Friday
Penn Players presents: Assassins
Sondheim is a boss
Watch ‘em try to shoot the prez
Break a leg, Players!
More Flyer Themed Zen
If you haven’t been on the Locust Bridge lately that means a) you’ve been avoiding the questionable eatings at Nommons and b) you’re unaware that the United Minorities Council has pimped out our campus! UMC beautified Penn a little more in celebration of Unity Month, with multicolored bows to represent the interculturalism of different groups on campus. Hey, we’re a fan of anything that we can pretend to look at while avoiding eye contact with people on Locust. Yay diversity!
Clubs flyering on Locust this week: you’ve been tricked. You thought we were normal Penn students traipsing down Locust in search of something to do this weekend, but we were actually journalists taking your flyers to create this juicy collection of poems. Call us Kate Taylor or something–just kidding, please don’t.
Strictly Funk presents: Dante’s Inferno
This week, Iron Gate:
The only Penn kids with swag
Gonna be hot, y’all!
Sparks Dance Company Presents: “Cirque du Sparks”
Another dance show
But this has bearded ladies
JK. We wish, doe.
Counterparts Fall Show: Private ‘Parts
The boy handing out
This flyer was really cute.
Show your “Private Parts.”
TRIHOP for St. Jude’s
We wish this were every week.
Insert Tridelt joke?
The flyer of the week has to be given to those bada$$ girls in Bloomers. Not only did they parade down locust shoving this flyer into our hearts, they — is that Jesus rockin’ a cowboy hat?!
Had a bad day? Caught in a bad romance? No worries, just bring yo’ bad self to Houston Hall’s Class of ’49 Auditorium to check out their fall show, “The Bad, The Bad, and The Bad,” tonight at 7:30 p.m.and tomorrow night at 8:30 p.m. Tix are $8 on the walk, and $10 at the door.
It’s the Return of the Flaikus! We know you missed your weekly flaiku dose even more than you missed the flyers themselves.
Here’s what’s happening this week for those of you who haven’t been strolling down Locust.
SPEC Presents Mount Kimbie, A Sol Mechanic, and Dream Safari
Oh thank god it’s an
English post-dubstep duo
SPEC fills a void
Have a blast, splash cash
Make dreams come true for small kids
Cut for Bieber ends
Mask and Wig Presents: A State of Confucian
With puns a-plenty
And tap dancing dudes in drag
Let’s all pa-GO-da
Alpha Kappa Delta Phi Presents: Coffee House
Hella food and dance
For breast cancer awareness
Asians provide all
HSC/YJA’s Annual Navratri Garba
Become more cultured
Hitting sticks with Indians
But please not on them
In an affirmation of our beloved Philly being one of the “great restaurant cities,” it was recently announced that celebrity chef Rick Bayless will be opening a Mexican eatery in the ARCH building, which is currently under construction.
And it’s not some ill-fated attempt to compete with Chipotle (read: Houston Taqueria.) In fact, the renowned chef hopes to “educate students’ palettes” as they scurry along Locust on their way to other educational pasttimes.
The café will specialize in tortas, a Mexican-style panini, while also boasting full breakfast, lunch, and dinner menus–plus a guacamole bar (yum!).
Most appetizing to us? The prices will be comparable to those of other on-campus food marts. So get ready to chow down come spring semester, when both the upgraded ARCH building and Penn’s newest food joint are set to make their debut.
Peeing on ol’ BFrank is one thing, but THIS? This is just over the line. It seems like the beloved statue on 37th and Locust was tagged last night. JAK, or should we say JAKASS, if you’re out there, just know that Ben doesn’t appreciate you autographing his Gazette.
We get it. You’re just not involved enough. You’re looking for a change. You want to explore other disciplines. You want to have as many leadership positions as you can, despite the fact that you hate leading people.
Almost all of these are valid reasons to attend the Activities Fair this evening from 5-9pm on Locust Walk. Here are a few tips on how to really succeed at the event:
- Memorize the emails of the people you hate and sign them up for every group.
- Take a folder, bag, pouch, fanny pack, wagon, whatever. Something to carry the 70 recruitment fliers that will be shoved into your arms.
- Look nice. If the president of an organization sees you, yes you, girl with no blow dryer wearing a “cool” T-shirt from NSO, you’re already fired.
- Avoid eye contact with the groups you have no interest in. The second your eyes meet theirs, you’re pitifully drawn to their table and your inbox becomes their bitch.
- Express interest in the groups you really want to join. Introduce yourself. Engage in conversation without looking constipated. Stand out.
- Never, never, never talk about your AP or SAT scores with upperclassmen. They’ll throw up all over you.
- Join The DP. Even better, join UTB.
- Have fun! This is a time to practice your networking skills, despite the fact that you’re probably boring.