SHOUTOUTS Fall 2011
Was your gossip overlooked by Highbrow?
Is there someone special in your life you’d like to toast or roast?
Well ’tis the season to be snarky. Shoutouts are coming to town and we hope you’ve all been very naughty.
Get your submissions in by November 23rd to SHOUTOUTS@34ST.COM or online RIGHT HERE through UTB’s annual handy dandy anonymous tip box.
STREET Presents R5 Productions’ New Digs
Sup’ brahs? Street‘s back this week with a feature–length piece on R5 Productions and its brand new music venue, Union Transfer. Spoiler: the concert space sold out its first show, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah on September 22.
We’ve got a complete guide to the Popped! music festival – make sure you don’t miss these top acts this weekend. For a more sultry look at the arts, check out this review of the Erotic Literary Salon.
We’ve also got a review of Brad Pitt’s new film, Moneyball and a spotlight on COOK, a downtown kitchen classroom that is simply mouth–watering.
Want more Ego of the Week? This week, basketball bid Jess Knapp and soccer star Adrienne Lerner show you how to really win a thumb war.
Tryna’ get your giggle on? See what’s up with Lowbrow here.
Shout It Out NOW!
It’s Street Shoutout time again! E-mail them to shoutouts@34st.com by April 18th at noon.
You should know what to do, but in case you don’t: check out Lowbrow eds Ben Rosen and Charlotte Borgen’s friendly advice for crafting the perfect Shoutout.
Be genuine. Say what you feel in your heart of hearts.
EXAMPLE: To the girl on Beige who gets lots of attention: That’s because you have big jugs. I mean, your boobs are huge. I mean, I wanna squeeze ‘em!
If you’re going to shout someone out, why not own up to it?
EXAMPLE: To the MERT whose bike I stole: Sorry. From, the jackass who ended up having to call you and get medical amnestied five minutes later.
Sometimes less is more.
EXAMPLE: To the football player who begged me to hold his dick while he peed: No.
More pearls of Shoutout wisdom, after the jump.
I Shout You Shout We All Shout For Shoutouts
This is your friendly Street reminder to GET YOUR SHOUTOUTS IN BY SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 15TH AT NOON. The following is a spattering of previously published Shoutouts for your inspiration. Though these are some oldies but goodies, we know you can do better, assholes.
To Penn guys: We know it was hard to get into this school, so why can’t you stay hard to get into me?
To my Math 170 Prof: So you’re a tad overweight – it’s fine. You’re funny as shit, so I’d do you anyway. It would be like a night in the sack with Roseanne.
To the big Jew I hooked up with during NSO: Sorry your roommates thought I was loud, I was just trying to make you stop.
To the Izzy and Zoe’s lady with a face growing on her herpes: Stop working in the food service industry.
To the loquacious Writer’s House senior who has been in three of my f-ing writing seminars and talks incessantly about her breasteses and how much everyone else’s papers are “cliche” and “stale”: Shut the fuck up. Shut. the. Fuck. up. Seriously, shut the fuck up.
To my roommate who memorized my schedule so he knows when to masturbate: I’m skipping Econ on Monday.
And remember: send ‘em to street-shoutouts@dailypennsylvanian.com!