Okay, so let’s be honest. Penn doesn’t exactly have the most badass reputation. Our mascot is the epitome of peace and nonviolence, our YouTube page puts out feel-good after-school-specials like this gem, and even our esteemed title as the Party-Hardy Ivy is slipping (too soon?). Luckily, amidst all the diplomats and scientists and cave dwellers that we’ve bred in our halls, there’s also Annie Duke. Because you know what is badass? Professional poker.
Via the Inquirer, we hear that Joan Rivers is already lobbying to get her tween grandson into Penn.
“Melissa went to Penn, you know.”
We know, Joan. We know how proud you are. You tell us every time we meet. “Melissa works hard for Penn. She’s a big member of the Penn family, planning meetings, raising money. Make sure you put that in. We’ve got to get Cooper into Penn, and we’ve only got 10 years. . . . If my grandson doesn’t get in, I’m coming after you.”
Not only did Melissa go to Penn, but she famously founded The Tabard Society. So her son will obviously join the one of the secret society’s manly counterparts, such as Oz, when he (inevitably) gets here. We sure hope he’s smart! If not, we’re looking at a serendipitously-timed Rivers family addition to the gym. If he’s a dunce though, we could use a new yoga studio…