NewsApril 20, 2014 at 4:35 pm

Angry Instagram Commenter Doesn’t Know Where Penn State Is


Geographical expert @atheism_is_love got into a bit of a tiff on the @uofpenn Instagram account last week when it posted this heartwarming photo of a golden sunset. To many, it was simply a beautiful picture, but for this diametrically opposed user, it was the perfect opportunity to warn us to “be an atheist!” and that we should all “be shamed cause sanduskiii”. Luckily, the the valiant and diplomatic commenter @elmulligan was there to stepp in and remind everyone that Penn isn’t, in fact, Penn State and that Sandusky didn’t go here. Ugh, classic mix-up. Happens all the time.

NewsOctober 15, 2013 at 9:55 am

Will The Real Wharton Please Stand Up?

Screen Shot 2013-10-14 at 10.20.49 PMThere must be some Voodoo-type ‘ish going on at Wharton, because their luck has gone from bad to worse.

According to Bloomberg Businessweek, Ohio Valley University, a Christian liberal arts college in West Virginia (duh), recently changed the name of its business school to the Gene and Joyce Wharton School of Business and Information Technology.  The decision was made to honor Gene Wharton, one of Ohio Valley’s trustees and owner of 24 Burger Kings. Winning.

No word yet if Wharton will take action against Ohio Valley, but last time someone tried to go all Chinatown on Wharton’s brand, Penn got on their lawsuit jawn and things weren’t pretty.

In the meantime, we at UTB are screenprinting “Not the Gene and Joyce Wharton School of Business and Information Technology” t-shirts and selling them on Locust next week. (Side note: those shirts suck)

FeaturesFebruary 2, 2012 at 2:34 pm

Penn Sees The Future: Groundhog Day Predictions

At 7:25 a.m. this morning in Punxsutawney, Pa., Groundhog Phil saw his shadow, predicting six more weeks of winter. At 7:25 a.m. this morning in Punxsutawney, Pa., Groundhog Phil saw his shadow, predicting six more weeks of winter. (See what we did there?) Well, Dr. Phil isn’t the only one who can make predictions. The editors of UTB have joined forces to bring you their own forecasts for the rest of the year.

  • New sorority biddies will emerge to see the shadows of their former selves that they’ve left behind.
  • White Dog Cafe will be the next foodspot to poof, while Beijing will miraculously stay open forever, despite contributing to 14 of the Freshman 15 with just one helping of Lo Mein.
  • Seniors who have locked themselves away for years in Van Pelt will emerge to see the light of day, also known as Feb Club.

See more predictions after the jump!

NewsDecember 21, 2011 at 11:38 am

Not Penn State: Same Story, Different Angle

Earlier this month, we brought you the story about a petition going around the Board of Trustees aiming to change Penn’s name following the Penn State coach scandal that blew up in November.

While this petition is likely to go nowhere, it looks like some people are still rehashing this same old subject but from the other angle. In this Fox News article published yesterday, the author claims that in order to maintain the integrity of the school, it is Penn State that should change its name following the scandal.

The article bases its claim in marketing and branding strategies, noting that although this shift is admittedly radical, it would ensure a new, clean slate for the school and its future. Hmm… Last we checked, that’s not how the internet works.

NewsNovember 9, 2011 at 10:32 am

Hey Maureen Dowd, We’re Not Penn State

Homegirl is trashing our reputation! The mistake has been corrected on the Timeswebsite, but seriously, world, stop confusing us with the brouhaha at Penn State. Maureen Dowd, if you’re reading this, you should apologize to our entire University immediately. Then come give an awesome talk on campus to make up for it.

Update: Per our commenters (always on their A-game!), it appears the end of her column’s still got us confused:

I can only hope that by the time Anthony’s parents work up their nerve to have what they call “the conversation” with him about his fallen idol, St. Joe and the other Penn scoundrels will have been ignominiously cast out of what turns out to be a not-so-Happy Valley.

Update, 1:16 p.m.: The Times finally fully corrected the online version! We’re still mad though.

NewsJuly 21, 2011 at 10:02 am

Major Lack Of Communication

Another case of Penn identity confusion has struck again!  This time, Forever 21 has decided to manufacture and sell a Penn shirt in its collection, but they are marketing the shirt as a “Pennsylvania State University Contrast Tee.”  You would think Forever 21 knew better than to just do a silly Google Images search.

Now if you buy the shirt, Forever 21 guarantees that you can “be true to your school in this contrast crop tee!”  We’re not sure whether you should be true to Penn State or Penn but you can get this baby shipped right to your door for less than $20.  With NSO just over a month away, this could be the perfect gift for your favorite PENN15 freshman!

Update: Deep breaths, everybody. The item’s name has been corrected.

NewsSeptember 13, 2010 at 3:03 pm

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others

Surprise! Our very own Quaker was invited to College Gameday announcer Lee Corso’s birthday party — or at least the scripted version filmed for this Gameday promo. Also on the invite list? Mascots representing a smattering of college football’s most significant programs: Florida’s Albert Gator, Ohio State’s Brutus Buckeye and Texas Tech’s Raider Red, among others. Though we love the Quaker, and can’t wait for the season opener against Lafayette come Saturday, it seems odd that Penn Football was included in this rather exclusive fiesta. Perhaps this is the first time that being mistaken for Penn State has ever worked in our favor?

CitySeptember 3, 2009 at 9:00 am

Will Remove ‘Not Penn State’ Apparel For Booze, Wings, Corn Dogs

newpennstateOur relationship with Penn’s newest watering hole, The Blockley Pourhouse, has been rocky, at best, from the get-go. At first we were totally excited! Excited in that about-to-go-see-a-horror-movie-that-will-haunt-your-dreams-forever type way, but excited, nonetheless. Then, upon checking the ex-asylum, ex-almshouse out, we were unpleasantly surprised.

The roller-coaster ride of emotions that is The Blockley continues, as we enter a state of confusion and mild dismay. FooBooz reports:

During all Penn State games (first game is September 5th vs the Akron Zips) the Blockley will offer all you can eat wings, corn dogs, fries and onion rings for $10. There are also some beer deals but they don’t come up to the minimum quality requirements to be mentioned on Foobooz.

At first we thought that this was a UPenn/Penn State mix-up, but we were mistaken. Turns out the owners (or could it be the ghosts of Blockley residents of yore?) are just Nittany Lion fans! Sure, we care about Penn football these days, and yes, we are perturbed by the decision to root for Penn State football on UPenn’s campus, but we aren’t going to let something as silly as school spirit or Quaker loyalty get in the way of a good old fashioned drink special and a plate of free food, are we? Just make sure to leave the “Not Penn State” apparel at home. Maybe permanently?

CampusJuly 28, 2009 at 10:13 am

The One Time We’re Not Proud That We’re Not Penn State

Princeton Review has released its annual ranking of the country’s top party schools. And this year, our sort-of-rivals from Penn State top the list. Congrats to the Nittany Lions (and to our friends at Onward State) for this enviable honor. Not shockingly, no Ivies made the list.

UncategorizedApril 9, 2009 at 11:49 am

Penn State, Not Penn: FML

An awesome tipster pointed out to us that Penn gets a shoutout today on our favorite website of procrastination,

As our tipster put it, “Now that makes me feel like we were a little more selective with admissions.” We couldn’t have said it better!