Last Thursday, we started along on our second journey towards determining the ultimate champion of the University of Pennsylvania, a competition so grueling and dizzyingly severe that we had no choice but to call it Penn Madness. 16 competitors battled over the course of five days in 13 battles until we were left with Penn Masala and Kelly Clarkson.
The people have spoken and the polls do not lie. So who did you crown as the victor? The answer may surprise you. And now, the moment of truth:
Penn has spoken, and after a long, grueling journey, only two remain who can capture the hearts of campus: Masala and Kelly Clarkson. Masala, you’ll remember, is Penn’s superstar South Asian a cappella group; Kelly Clarkson was on TV or something and then ended up in From Justin to Kelly and hasn’t been seen since. But she’s totally coming for Fling this year. (Have you heard?) We haven’t read The Hunger Games, but Penn Madness is probably a lot like that, except with fewer bows and arrows and more death and destruction. So who’s got your vote?
Who are you choosing for the two most important votes in your life? Penn Madness is totally for serious. Check back tomorrow to pick the winner of this year’s competition!
A strip club against an a cappella group? Kelly Clarkson versus a boutique? This is Penn Madness, anything is possible! Round 2 is open! Click here to vote!
Polls are open for Round 1 of Penn Madness! Vote after the jump:
March Madness, that college basketball brouhaha, is all the rage out there in the real world. Inside the Penn Bubble, however, the gods and goddesses have spoken, and Penn Madness is upon us. Yes, it’s back. Round Two.
Here’s how it works: we’ve made a bracket featuring Penn’s latest and (arguably) greatest people, places and things, and you get to vote on their fights to the death– the winner being crowned as Champion of This Little Part of the Internet. Over the course of the next few days, your votes will determine the winners who will go on to compete against new competitors before the champion is determined. See, it’s like March Madness, but without having to pretend you care about basketball. Sound easy? Neat. Take a look at the competitors below and check back later today to vote in Round 1!
Categories and Team Descriptions:
Bar No One Ever Goes To Ever
Crave: The Crave is the Rave’s new bar. Stop trying to make Crave happen. It’s not going to happen.
Atlantis: You can doggy bag your Blooming Onion from the nearby Chili’s. (Note: Fried onion fritters are not legal tender for Atlantis performers.)
Prediction: Atlantis is below Chili’s. ATLANTIS IS BELOW CHILI’S!
Read the rest of this entry »
2011 was a great year for our Resident President, that Crimson Mistress: Dr. Amy Annabel Gutmann. (We made “Annabel” up. But could you imagine– !) Amy wined, dined, chatted, danced, shimmied, shimmered, gave speeches, danced some more, won the titles of Mr. and Mrs. Penn (we wish), had a picnic at her house, bought some new red blazers, coiffed her hair (That hair!), went to bed and did it 364 more times. Let’s take a trip down memory lane and relive some of her best moments, shall we?
Spotted: Amy canoodles with Arianna Huffington
Amy went to Switzerland to attend the World Economic Forum and Huffington had the nerve to show up with a blonde ‘do. Only one blonde superwoman per table, please, them’s the rules. Arianna who? #TeamAmy
Read the rest of this entry »
It’s been a long, harrowing journey. Sixteen competitors, thirteen battles and one winner. From the beginning, our bet was on Amy Gutmann, but after seeing the meteoric rise of the Late Night, we were left with doubts.
Well, to the victor go the spoils. But who won, anyway? The answer may surprise you– it certainly had us in a tizzy! Check it out after the jump!
Moment of truth >>
The Final Round: It’s Here. Capital Letters. Exclamation Points. This. We’ve seen heroes rise, empires fall and egos deflate. Now, we’re left with just two: Amy Gutmann, eighth President of the University of Pennsylvania, and the Late Night, a study spot in the basement of Commons. We foresaw Amy’s rise from the very beginning, but the Late Night conquered many against all odds and has made it to the very end. Who will win? It’s up to you! The fate of the universe is in your hands…after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »
As we reach the Penn-ultimate (Teehee!) round of Penn Madness, the Final Four emerges. With Amy Gutmann up against Hoodie Allen and the indefatigable Penn rain boots stompin’ on out against the Late Night, we’re really not sure who will win. Of a few things, however, we are certain: Bones will be crushed. Hearts will be broken. Champions will be crowned. And rain boots will be sold out of the bookstore. Vote after the jump!
Read the rest of this entry »
