NewsApril 16, 2014 at 4:12 pm

NYT Declares Penn Super Relevant

Screen shot 2014-04-16 at 3.03.36 AM

Who needs to be first place in academics or athletics when you can be first place in popularity? A recent article in the New York Times reported that the number of applications to Penn this year rose by 14.4%, the highest of all Ivies. Apps to Dartmouth decreased the most, by 14.2%. While Dean Furda attributes this newfound popularity to greater outreach efforts, we can’t help but think it’s because of the Qdoba on campus. At least this increase in apps explains the unwelcome hordes of naive tour groups invading campus every day.

FeaturesApril 15, 2014 at 3:29 pm

Your Fling Photos Are In: Reliving Spring Fling 2K14

flingstanleyAs we collectively wallow in this rainy post-Fling Tuesday, we can only hope ya didn’t have to untag too many pictures or explain to your parents why they received a Dominos pizza delivery at 2am on Saturday (It’s a long not even a long story).

Either way, this moody weather gives us the perfect excuse to reflect on what transpired this past weekend, and there’s no better medium to do this than through the contemporary photograph. Without further ado about nothing, here’s our roundup of the Fling photos you sent us, or hashtagged with #flingstagram:

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Nothing unites strangers like the 3am drive for calories. Here we observe an eclectic medley of organisms gathering around the oasis that is ol’ McDonald’s.

 

 

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NewsApril 5, 2014 at 2:00 pm

Penn Compliments Gets A New (Confused-Looking) Face

Screen Shot 2014-04-05 at 12.41.22 PMHave you ever wanted to compliment someone you don’t know? Someone you do know? Do you want to remain anonymous? Well, you already could…but now you can again with a new app called Notice.

The app claims to let you “Write a compliment, flirt, be playful. Have fun :)” However, we think they forgot to mention that the same 3 students will repeatedly clog your feed because *cough* they anonymously write about themselves.

Alas, doesn’t this all sound a bit familiar? We are all about peace love && Penn, but between Penn Compliments and Admirers, we feel like this role has been casted twice. The app has good intentions, but with 10,000 undergrads to give praise to, there’s plenty of room to end up like Gretchen Weiners.

FeaturesApril 4, 2014 at 8:52 am

Flyerer of the Week: Chi Olympics

Chi Olympics

If there’s one word that comes to mind when you think of Penn, it’s sports. And charity. And donuts. Well, maybe not. But if you’re looking for a sweet combination of these three, then be sure to head out to Chi Olympics, this Saturday from 2-4 PM . For this week’s Flyerer of the Week, we learned about what it takes to be the best.

What is Chi Olympics? 
It’s Chi O’s annual fundraiser for Make-A-Wish Foundation. It’s a really fun tournament with sports and games and great prizes for everybody!

So if it’s a competition, how athletic do you have to be?
Actually, not at all. There’s a donut-eating contest, so no athleticism required.

So why should we come to this event as opposed to the other billions of things happening this week?
Because it supports an awesome organization! Make- A-Wish Foundation does great things for kids. Also, anyone who participates will have a lot of fun and can win prizes. We have gift cards for everywhere. Literally, everywhere.

Where, specifically?
We have Kiwi and Smokes! What college kid doesn’t like some beer with a side of froyo?

If you could describe this event in three words, what would it be?
“Fresh”, “once-in-a-lifetime-experience”, and “cash-swag-money” .

Speaking of cash-swag-money, what would happen if Amy G showed up to the event?
We would recruit her for our team. There would also be lots of selfies going on. She’d be a really good competitor for the relay race or something but probably bad at the donut-eating contest. If she wanted, she could be the Grand Torch Bearer who lights the fire of Chi Olympics. The physical and metaphorical fire, that is.

Great! Any last words?
I’d rather be roller-skating right now. I’m not lying….wait, don’t put that!

ShutterButtonMarch 26, 2014 at 12:40 pm

I’ve Done Some Modeling

Model

We know what you’re thinking. And yes, Professor McGonagall did go to Penn! Just joking, but that would’ve been awesome. This anonymous Penn model dates back to the 1890’s. We’re not sure whether she’s trying to do a sexy open-mouth thing or if she’s grimacing from pain and/or constipation. Regardless, she looks pretty good in her black frock and Princess Leia buns. If only this 19th Century Heidi Klum lived to see the day of Moncler jackets and Hunter boots, she probably would’ve looked, like, totally cool.

Election WatchMarch 24, 2014 at 2:01 pm

Race To The UA 2K14: A Reminder That These Are The People Who Want To Represent You, Part II

bfrankvoteHello and thank you for continuing on this journey through peer-produced popularity contest propaganda. If you’re just joining us, uh, why haven’t you checked out Part I yet? Anyway, hopefully you’ve seen the posters which means you’re ready to move onto the big boy stuff: videos and websites.

As we’ve done in years past, let’s take a critical look at how these UA candidates are trying to snag our vote this time around.

Read the rest of this entry »

Election WatchMarch 24, 2014 at 2:00 pm

Race To The UA 2K14: A Reminder That These Are The People Who Want To Represent You, Part I

bfrankvoteHooooo boy, we at it again. If you’re living under a rock and/or your newsfeed isn’t overflowing with profile pic propaganda, first of all, you’re lucky and can we be you? Second of all, just know that we’ve now entered UA Election Week! (Cue this sound effect and an eyeroll.)

Of course, this time of year also means that cringe-y campaign iMovies make the Internet rounds, poorly Photoshopped cover photos are aplenty, and that the trees and halls are decked with campaign posters. It’s basically Christmas except the colors are pun-based-vanity green, and does-the-UA-even-do-anything red. So as we’ve done for years, let’s take a critical look at the season’s harvest, shall we?

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FeaturesMarch 6, 2014 at 1:38 pm

15 Reasons It Doesn’t Feel Like Spring Break Yet

cantbelieveUh, what? It’s March already???

Spring break might be right around the corner but it feels like just yesterday we were fretting over finals and flying home for Thanksgivukkawinterbreak. Yet here we are, halfway to May.

Take a deep breath.

If this semester feels like it’s been going faster than usual, it’s probably because…

  1. …we’ve had so many snow days that winter break never actually ended.
  2. …snow days—even snow hoursare still worth hoping for.
  3. …CVS still has old, half-off Valentine’s day stuff out.
  4. …we still have to look at our schedule to see what classes we have today.
  5. …we haven’t been to enough office hours to warrant asking for a rec letter.
  6. …we’re still wearing our fur-hooded coats, scarves, hats—the works.
  7. …our parents have verbalized that they’ve seen us too recently.
  8. …midterms are still a very, very real phenomenon.
  9. …we’re still doing OCR.
  10. …the most beach bod prep we’ve done is a walk to the fridge during a House of Cards marathon.
  11. …we still haven’t made break plans.
  12. …we’ll be wearing UGGs to the airport.
  13. …I’m paler than UTB’s page layout.
  14. …still don’t have my littlest.
  15. …we’re failing miserably this semester but convincing ourselves it’s okay because it feels like the second week of class.

~Nevertheless, we’re just grateful for a week off to cuddle with our dogs!~

FeaturesMarch 6, 2014 at 10:56 am

The Sceney-est Places To Nap At Penn

Oozing class, one snore at a time.

Is it just us or is someone sleeping in every public place on campus? It’s midterm season. We’re tired. But the budding socialite in us all knows that we need still need to SABS. Even when we’re taking a study snooze break, our peers are watching.

Here is the OFFICIAL list of the #sceniest places to nap at Penn:

1. The big chairs in Houston

Everybody who’s anybody has napped in one of the big chairs on the right side of Houston Hall. Grab your teriyaki bowl, put a book on your lap so it looks like you were just doing something, and snooze away. Be warned though: everyone you know will walk by and stare. But hey, that’s what being scene-y is about, right?!?

2. 6th floor of Van Pelt

Any old Quaker can nap on the lower floors of Van Pelt; in the chairs in the basement, the cubicles, the East Asia room on the 5th floor. Read the rest of this entry »

NewsMarch 1, 2014 at 1:15 pm

Assortive Mating? All the Cool Kids Are Doing It

Spouses at PennAt least one professor at Penn knows what college is really about: finding your future spouse, duh. A recent study by Penn’s Econ department shows that “assertive mating,” or the tendency for high-income college-educated men and women to marry each other, leads to greater income inequality in the US. Who knew that roaming Huntsman Hall to find “the one” could be so destructive?

Here’s some advice: instead of loitering outside of Domus, maybe find your future spouse somewhere else. Like on Tinder or…Drexel. Your parents might be a little upset you didn’t bring home a nice Jewish boy, but hey, at least you’re making the world a better place! Socialite Rose and penniless Jack turned out okay, right?