Are you the next Nate Silver? Do you think you know who’s coming to Fling this year? In response to all the smart asses throwing their guesses around with the certainty of biblical prophets, SPEC is holding a contest that gives students the opportunity to predict this year’s lineup for the chance to win a coveted floor pass. It’s easy! Just have your mom’s psychic fill out this form.
At 7:25 a.m. this morning in Punxsutawney, Pa., Groundhog Phil saw his shadow, predicting six more weeks of winter. At 7:25 a.m. this morning in Punxsutawney, Pa., Groundhog Phil saw his shadow, predicting six more weeks of winter. (See what we did there?) Well, Dr. Phil isn’t the only one who can make predictions. The editors of UTB have joined forces to bring you their own forecasts for the rest of the year.
- New sorority biddies will emerge to see the shadows of their former selves that they’ve left behind.
- White Dog Cafe will be the next foodspot to poof, while Beijing will miraculously stay open forever, despite contributing to 14 of the Freshman 15 with just one helping of Lo Mein.
- Seniors who have locked themselves away for years in Van Pelt will emerge to see the light of day, also known as Feb Club.
The stars have aligned and UTB is divinely inspired to deliver today’s horoscope. Behold our interpretations.
Aries: This is a real time to buckle down and fortify your career. Go on, fortify! Perhaps consider paying a visit to Claire Klieger. (<3)
Taurus: Wear colorful clothing and stay positive. Put on your trendiest gear and strut your stuff down Locust Runway as if you were a D2S model. You’re a star!