NewsFebruary 23, 2014 at 10:24 am

Shattered Gates, Shattered Dreams

Screen Shot 2014-02-23 at 10.40.24 AM

We’ve all thought it: “What if–instead of swiping into my dorm–I just ran and kept running, full speed, into the sliding glass gates?” We’ve never put it into action, but finally someone has! Sometime in the wee hours last night, an inebriated freshman made sweet, combative love to the Quad gates. They shattered, he was okay. A martyr for the cause.

ShutterButtonFebruary 16, 2014 at 11:13 pm

UTB After Dark: More Than A Nip Slip (NSFW)

Everyone would be more than okay with this weekend being a wrap on snow for the winter. Luckily, some brilliant Penn17ers made the most of the stuff before it melted into slush and black ice. Mucho love and kudos to the inhabitants of the Nipple in Fisher Hassenfeld, who crafted this uber-explicit work of art. The visionary Quad frosh helped this snowman and woman get down with their bad selves, complete with kinky props and (real?) glasses.

As a former Nipple dweller, this post’s author salutes his successors’ masterpiece, which is easily the best snow sculpture to hit campus in three years. So proud.

NewsFebruary 10, 2014 at 11:19 am

Finally Someone Is Going To Explain This Whole Squirrel Thing

squirrreeellFrom the first day of freshman year, as you walked through the Quad sighing dreamily at the picturesque #socollege look of your new home, it was clear that Penn was a magical place, where – OH MY GOD DID YOU JUST SEE THAT SQUIRREL FLY LIKE TEN FEET FROM ONE TREE TO ANOTHER?!?! Dad?? Dad, did you see that???

For anyone who’s ever screamed when a squirrel popped out of a trash can at them, or who’s been mentally scarred by the image of two squirrels tangoing, or who’s wondered why, in the middle of this major metropolitan city, these cute woodland creatures have mutated into conniving, ferocious beasts the size of small dogs, we’ve got the talk for you. This Tuesday, from 6-7 pm, Penn Science Café presents How the Gray Squirrel Conquered the American City, also known by its alternate title, How Gray Squirrels Began their Guerilla Warfare and Created This Hell We’re Living In. The kicker? From the talk description, it looks like it may be all our fault.

FeaturesJanuary 24, 2014 at 5:23 pm


Six Instragram users had their work published in print in Thursday’s DP, and now the next tier of snow day pic visionaries are getting cyber-famous. The runners-up used the hashtag #UTBSnowDay and were selected for truly capturing the beauty of campus (and beyond) during the 1.5 snow days this week. Now that our streets are slushy and GBMs/OCR/rush are back, we thank these photographers for snapping the fleeting wintry serenity that enveloped Penn during this semi-commitment-free blizzard. Mazel tov to the Instageniuses, now forever immortalized on the interwebs.

@siricookie might not be a fan of “Her,” but her Quad insta does everything right:


@dani_castillo also had a gorgeous model in FFA, but her shot is particularly stunning:


Click to see the other 5 winning Instas after the jump!

NewsMay 3, 2013 at 4:30 pm

R.I.P. Quad Alc

photoFinals are just about over and you know what that means! Freshmen everywhere are rolling those giant cardboard carts out of the Quad (tear) and back to the suburbs. Looks like a couple of them realized that Mom and Dad wouldn’t exactly appreciate finding these bottles stuck between the shower flops and Target sheets and ditched the Svedka on the Hamilton side of the Lower Quad Gate. Side note: who had the Jack? Why aren’t we friends?

ShutterButtonApril 10, 2013 at 9:51 am

ShutterButton: Penn Traditions Less Resilient Than Fling

1914 bowl fight

Here we have one of the many Penn traditions that didn’t quite stand the test of time. Presenting the Bowl Fightan annual orgy game that pitted the sophomore and freshman classes against each other. It took place in the Quad in April, much like Fling! Only it was super violent. A couple of years after the Bowl Fight pictured (1914), someone died and they (appropriately) called the whole thing off. So please, sophomores, as you sneak past the tight Quad security this weekend to visit your old rooms, don’t try to wrestle freshmen into bowls. We wouldn’t want Fling cancelled, now would we?

Fling2K13April 8, 2013 at 12:21 pm

Rain, Rain, Go Away!


According to current forecasts, Tyga may have his wayThings aren’t looking pretty for Fling weekend, with a 70% chance of rain for Friday (and that nasty 14MPH wind to the northeast). Don’t fret! You can camp all day inside a Freshman’s room in the Quad…unless, of course, you happen to be a Freshman.

ShutterButtonMarch 27, 2013 at 1:30 pm

ShutterButton: Vintage Quad

Spring Fling is in the air and we are so freakin’ excited! What better way to get psyched (or faded, if you will) than to check out a Quad throwback? Pictured are two Penn students strolling through the LQ courtyard on a beautiful day in 1947. Here’s hoping for warm Fling weather like this, and maybe a worthwhile headliner? Sending out an SOF (save our Fling)! … David Guetta, are you there? Anybody?

NewsMarch 25, 2013 at 3:23 pm

Limited Quad Access During Fling (Ugh)

port-a-potty-linesMore changes are coming to Fling this year! As detailed in an email sent to Quad residents and this DP article, from 10:00 AM to 6:30 PM on the Friday and Saturday of Fling, all Quad doors will be locked, and security will only be allowing Quad residents and guest pass holders into the buildings. This will be done in an effort to let drunk freshmen puke in peace “respect the living space of Quad residents and ensure usable bathrooms.”

But don’t worry, staff has ensured ample Porta Potties will be placed around the Quad. Joy. Good luck everybody else!

NewsMarch 19, 2013 at 1:38 pm

Basically A Fling Artist: Gigamesh

imagesThanks to the detective work of eager and slightly stalkerish Penn students, another (almost) fling artist has been uncovered. Gigamesh, aka Matthew Thomas Masurka, a producer/DJ best known for remixing “Pumped up Kicks” and producing “Cooler than Me”, released an April 13th tour date for the University of Pennsylvania. Looks like we’ll be raging Quadside with the Gig-man. Find out more about Gigamesh here.