In case you’re too deep in Walnut Walk to read the news, our infamous alum, Raj Rajaratnam, has been found guilty on all counts in his high-profile insider trading trial. He faces up to 25 years in prison, but even before that he’s got to cough up $100 million for bail. Here’s some better things he could have done with that money:
- Donated enough to name 44% of the School of Medicine
- Stopped SAC’s financial problems… 107 times over
- Bought every single person in Philadelphia a meal during Restaurant Week (including drinks and tip)
- Sent 1,743 kids to Penn, all expenses paid
- Covered 158% of the losses he was trying to avoid by insider trading in the first place
In conclusion: don’t insider trade.
Well done, Penn alums: you’re certainly making us proud this week. From Steven Wynn’s ridiculous wedding to Raj Rajaratnam’s ongoing trial, check out why some of our famous names should maybe say they went to Penn State.
Donald Trump Is, Well, Happening
In case finals have you trapped in a cultural vacuum, presidential-hopeful Donald Trump has been causing a scene demanding proof that Barack Obama was actually born in the United States. We know, that got old ages ago, but then again, so did The Apprentice. Last night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, Obama and last spring’s SPEC speaker Seth Meyers teamed up to fire back.