So good luck finding a seat! Just in time for finals mayhem, Flavorwire ranked Fisher Fine Arts #23 out of 25 on its list of Most Beautiful College Libraries In the World. Ordinarily, we’d encourage celebration of this exciting factoid, but chances are the only people who care are those currently in Fisher where studious counterparts are ready to “SHHH!!!!” at even the slightest peep.
So yeah, we thought posts about lists were getting a bit redundant as well. But this time, we present National Geographic ranking CAPOGIRO as the NUMBER ONE place to eat ice cream in the WORLD. That’s right, the whole entire world.
Philadelphia’s frozen food favorite outranked ice cream vendors from locations as obscure as Argentina and Turkey. By our logic, this also means that National Geographic finds the gelato at Capogiro better than that of Italy. Whoa. Fresh ingredients, artisan gelatos and “flavors not seen anywhere else” propelled Capogiro past the other nine establishments on the list. No mention of price or sassy staff, but that is totally beside the point.
In a weird five-way US News and World Report orgy, we’ve maintained our 5th-best national university spot but now share it with Cal Tech, Stanford, MIT and U Chicago. A big “screw you” to Columbia for continuing to squat in the fourth-place that should’ve been ours. Harvard, Yale, and Princeton remained safe in their little bubble of “great at rankings but bad at football,” and Duke is now tailgating us at #10. Discuss.
Among the 25 super quirky, unconventional, avant-garde lists posted on The Daily Beast, Penn managed to nab a spot on five, despite being an unimpressive, low-tier institution. If scrolling through 25 lists isn’t how you like to spend your Mondays, we’ve got your back. Here are the Penn highlights:
- Penn ranked 18th in student activists on campus, or fostering a good environment for these activists, or both. We’re not sure. We’re pretty sure that Newsweek’s not sure either.
- We’re the #10 Greenest college in the whole entire country! So no matter how much the environment’s kicked our asses this week, we just won’t stop being its clingy girlfriend.
- Congratulations! You go to the 6th Horniest university. So stop whining about how supposedly ugly your classmates are. You apparently don’t care very much anyway.
- Penn is #4 on the list of Future CEOs. Thanks for carrying us through another ranking, Wharton! Without your persistent efforts, we could’ve landed ourselves a spot on the Most Free-Spirited list. God forbid.
- Penn’s the 3rd Computer Geekiest school in the nation.
And that’s the way the toast crumbles. Feel free to let us know what you think, especially since our existential struggle after the last set of rankings. (Lookin’ at you, Philosoraptor.)
Beginning in 2008, Forbes has released its own annual rankings of America’s top colleges, in an effort to make the process more objective. “Unlike other lists, we pointedly ignore ephemeral measures such as school “reputation” and ill-conceived metrics that reward wasteful spending.” Penn debuted at #61 its first year and #83 last year. This year, we climbed back up to #52.
Of course, these rankings are unsettling when we’re used to being at the toppity top, and we could spend the post pretending like we don’t care about this particular set of rankings, but let’s be honest, we all do. None of us applied to Penn just for kicks and our parents certainly don’t empty out their pockets just because they feel like it. So when a credited and established publication like Forbes puts us as #52, we do and should care. The other direction this post could take would be to complain about the rankings and attribute the results to poor criteria and unfounded statistics, but we already kinda did that last year.
First Is the Worst, Second Is the Best, Fourth Is the One With the Highest Income When They Graduate
If you happened to hear a loud wailing in the vicinity of Huntsman Hall this morning, it is either because our nation is potentially on the brink of more economic uh-oh, or because Bloomberg ranked Wharton as #4 (AGAIN!?) on the list of Best Undergraduate Business Schools 2011. Most people would celebrate even the prospect of being ranked number four, but keep in mind: we’re talking about a place that gets competitive over GSR space.
On the bright side, Wharton grads can boast about higher median starting salaries than those of grads from other schools on the list (see: obnoxious headline). Also, for those of you non-conformers to the above stereotype (heartchu), we would like to extend our most sincere mazel tov and shower you with confetti of this sort.
Rankings for The World’s Best Business Schools came out yesterday and our very own Wharton has it in third–place. Business Insider, bragging like frat guys, claim to have developed “the true ranking of the top 50 schools” based on “how much a school will help your future career.” Apparently, Penn grads leave with “unmatched rigor in training analytical and thoughtful leadership, [the] largest alumni network, [and] incredible global diversity.” Basically, Penn rules, everyone else drools and Castle is probably second-tier!
How many times have you wanted to stand up in the middle of recitation and scream “SHENANIGANS!!!” but were just too scared your constitutional rights would not be respected? Fear not, comrades: the Foundation for Individual Rights in Education (FIRE) has your back!
In a recent Huffington Post article (and in today’s DP), FIRE named Penn one of the country’s best colleges for free speech on the basis that it has “at least nominally protect[ed] speech that would be protected by the First Amendment” and hasn’t “committed a serious incident of censorship…for at least several years” — that they know of, at least. Those criteria don’t seem all that stringent, but hey, we’ll take it! Add that to Penn’s inclusion in numerous gay-friendly rankings and it seems we have ourselves our own little social utopia in West Philly.