Southern New Hampshire University got our sloppy seconds as Penn’s second only remaining presidential hopeful delivered a Commencement address there yesterday.

Many in the media would have you believe that Jon Huntsman Jr., like Obama in 2007, was visiting the seemingly-random school due to its location in the home of the nation’s first primary. However, we know better: clearly, he just got confused and thought he was coming back to his alma mater. Why? SMHU’s mascot is– get this– the Penmen. Classic mistake.

Jason Mattera dressed in scarlet. Irony?

Uber-Conservative author and blogger Jason Mattera recently posted an article about stupid Americans and their stupid college classes. Penn must be doing something right because we got a whole paragraph to ourselves! Apparently teaching a class called “Adultery Novel” and analyzing Marx is a big no-no. Also, according to another website, we suck because we are “bizarrely” politically correct. Sorry we take elections and politics seriously, guys. We’ll try to lose interest immediately.

Tipster Mark Pan has led us toward what must be the new mission for the Penn College Republicans. Check out their revamped website, just in time for election season!

This makes us wonder how our resident GOP supporters would vote in an election between boxers or briefs. We’d guess briefs, considering boxers are more liberating liberal. Plus, briefs are known to show off abdominal muscles, and we know how much our country’s Republicans love to show off their hot bods.

Eagle-eyed contributor Ashley Dreyfus spotted an interesting flyer in Mark’s Cafe. She reports:

Thursday will bring vodka parties, but why not ease into Fling with a Wednesday tea party?  This Wednesday a.k.a. April 15th a.k.a. Tax Day, Love Park will host tea festivities in an attempt to…send some message to Congress about taxes or something? Ok, we don’t exactly know what the purpose is, something to do with exposing “the bankrupt liberal agenda of the White House Administration and Congress,” but it sounds like a good excuse to grab a bag of Earl Grey (or Green Tea for the Buddhists out there) and head down there to see what all the fuss is about. (Too bad Tucker Carlson won’t be in town until the next day!)

If you can’t make it or don’t feel your $0.65 tea bag is worth the effort, but your state’s representatives are really pissing you off, you can always join in by sending him or her some virtual tea bags to show your disapproval.

It would appear as if the stimulus package is already bringing results. Some rogue member of the College Republican sent out the e-mail below. While the event isn’t happening (the College Republicans Executive Board sent out a very clear e-mail separating themselves from this), we’re still intrigued. Borderline racism or partisan bitterness? You be the judge!

“Obama piñata on the walk at 12pm tomorrow sharp! Be there or be Democrat!!!”

IN UR MACHINE ANSERIN UR CALLS???

Everyone knows that exam time is Facebook time. You’ve just found the perfect spot in Van Pelt (where no one can see your laptop’s screen) so what’s the first thing you do? Open up Facebook and try to postpone your studying for as long as possible. I have to admit that I’m victim to these same urges.

I’m here to tell you that there may be something even more entertaining than perusing pictures tagged of you and checking the statuses of kids from your high school to see where they’ve gotten into college (shoutout, prefrosh!). I’m talking about the new ads on Facebook. Now, I know that Mark Zuckerberg has to rake in the cash somehow, but some of these are just ridiculous. In case you missed them, here’s a roundup of a few of the most bizarre.   Read the rest of this entry »

God bless America! Photo credit: The New York Times

The first presidential debate was last night.  And rather than live-blogging it like every other blog on earth, we’d like to talk about where you were when you were watching it.  Samantha Jones once said, “I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties,” and that’s a philosophy we take to heart. (Except not really, ’cause we’re obviously Democrats like 80% of the students at Penn, haha.)

So, where did you watch the debates?  Below, a spectrum from coolest to most loserly:

Messianic: From Obama’s campaign headquarters.

Super Chill: At Smoke’s.

Endearingly Nerdy: With members of Penn Dems/College Republicans/Penn Parli.

Respectable: On your couch/in a common room with your friends.

Kind of Weird: In the nearly-empty cardio room on the second floor of Pottruck, while sitting on a stationery bike you weren’t even peddling. (This may or may not be where we were. Is this whole blog just an excuse to brag every time we go to the gym? Maybe!)

Pathetic: In your room, alone, while flipping to America’s Funniest Home Videos during commercials.

*By the way, the title of this post doesn’t make a whole lot of sense; it was intended to be a parody of those banners for frat parties that say stupid things like “18 to vandalize, 21 to scandalize,” as if any party would turn away nubile not-yet-18 pre-frosh.