In this crazy world, there are but few places one can go and be truly free. Free to feast on different colors of wine and large platters of chicken with 70 of your closest friends and dance drunkenly with the waitstaff, Grecian bacchanal-style. UTB is once again truly devastated to report the end of a pleasantly blurry, noodle-filled era. Charles Plaza is reportedly closing– or at least the number has been disconnected.
Rumor has it that Charles recently gained his US citizenship and is going from doing kegstands at our BYOs to doing kegstands on our hearts. Despite the pain, we can only hope that everyone’s favorite restauranteur is onto bigger and better things. If you’re reading this, Charles, we love you. You and your perfectly folded napkins and consistently okay food will live on in our memories and embarrassing pics forever.
We all recently got an email that on May 30th, Blackboard and Penn will officially NO LONGER be in a relationship. To mark the end of an era, we wrote an ode. (As one does.)
O Blackboard, Sweet Blackboard
Thine Purplish tones
Thine failure to function
On cellular phones,
Thine cluttered design,
Those crimson-red tabs,
Course documents, syllabus, blog posts to SABS,
We’ll miss you O Blackboard,
No matter how lame.
Canvas looks a bit cleaner,
But it’s really
not the same.
College Sophomore Passes Away
-- We are immensely saddened to report the loss of our classmate Elvis Hatcher, who died earlier today. UPDATE: Elvis' death has been ruled a suicide, according to the DP
Yeah, he may have been a pest, but that little furry mofugga managed to eat his way into our heart-trash these past couple weeks. News of his death this past weekend has, simply put, shaken us to our core.
Here, a nostalgic look at the bright, sunny days and dark, rabid nights of Sir Perry. It was a tragic timeline that ended in impalement(!). Caution, the following images may cause extremely emotional responses. (Some music to set the mood.)
Read the rest of this entry »
UTB regrets to report a devastating loss to the Penn community. Sadly, the nightly pilgrimage to 38th and Spruce is no more for those lone Quakers still wandering around campus. Not so sadly, the newly renovated Wawa will open in about six weeks and we know what you’re wondering: how is it possible for Wawa to get even better? We’re thinking nacho cheese fountain.
If you haven’t heard already, 1979 Penn alum Matthew White was tragically stabbed to death by his wife on Monday. The 6’11” White played on the Quakers’ Final Four men’s basketball team, because that was a thing that occurred.
Our friends at the DP have reported new details on the shocking act of violence, including that White was asleep when he was fatally stabbed in the neck by Maria Rey Garcia-Pellon, and that the homicide was not quick and painless. The horrific story has already been picked up by outlets like The Daily Mail and The Huffington Post.
The kicker: his murderous spouse’s explanation is that White was looking at child pornography (unverified) and claimed she “had to do it” because she loves kids. We don’t think that one’s going to hold up in court.
In other news, one of the featured obituaries in this past Sunday’s New York Times was that of Penn alum James DePriest, a legendary orchestral conductor. DePriest, who died on Friday at 76 (of natural causes) Read the rest of this entry »
Philly Diner, deceased since October, is now gone from campus for good, and you can tell that we’re upset and/or nostalgic about it because we Instagrammed this photo. Our sources inform us that the building went down not with a bang, but a whimper, and SDTs everywhere collectively shed a single tear over the loss of their
last horcrux second home.
We totally called PhiDi’s downfall when it started serving steak, but hey! We’re still pretty shocked. “Where were you when the PhiDied?” future generations will ask.
It’s not really all that surprising, considering that the place looked like it was straight out of Cold War-era Russia, but COME ON! It was so convenient! In the past year, the gods/goddesses have taken away the Pronto and the liquor store. What’s next? Our lives, liberties and collective pursuits of happiness? Spring Fling? In the meantime, you’ll have to trek out to 19th and Chestnut or 24th and South to get your booze fix.
RIP Ruth Perelman-- So long
, and thanks for the Med school.
Following last month’s report that Korean taco vendor Tyson Bee’s would be taking an indefinite hiatus, the incongruously-named food truck has finally called it quits. According to its Facebook page, the “company is going through a transition” and the truck has ceased operations, but they are “working on future plans” and hope to serve again soon. We hope they do, too! But until then, let us have a moment of silence and give thanks for the delicious Korean barbeque-y goodness they provided and pray that another Korean taco truck will immediately swoop in and fill the void.
Update: One of our readers points out that it may be saved after all! City Paper reports that two of the founding partners, responsible for the actual in-truck operations, have left due to disagreements with the other founders. It is still open under the helm of a different crew but it’s unclear whether the truck will keep the name or menu. If you have any info, let us know!