Shoutout season is upon us, so inhale the sweet, sweet smell of revenge. Lowbrow airs your grievances and tells you exactly who shit the bed, literally and figuratively. But never fear, the rest of the issue has so much more than ads you can use to wipe your tears.

Whether you’re a nostalgic senior or a lowly freshman, Highbrow gives you the chance to score a highly coveted Round Up Superlative. Hey, at least they don’t use your yearbook picture! If that’s not enough to get you in the mood for a vacation, Ego helps you choose your own summer adventure (spoiler: that’s not code for a Goldman internship), Music goes cross country to scope out the best festivals, and Food and Drink pick out the best chilly snacks around Philly that are sure to keep you cool. If you’d rather beat the heat inside an air–conditioned theatre, well that just sucks. Film explains why. And in honor of Throwback Thursday (if you’re into that, no judgement) Art goes back in time to the best of Penn poets past. Finally, this week’s feature tackles abstinence (or lackthereof) by choice (or lackthereof) at Penn. Oh, and robots are taking over the world in the international Robocup. Let the games begin…

With Ever–loving, Maraschino–sweet, unpopped love,

Street

Since we just extorted you to send us tips, we should probably share some of the ones we’ve been meaning to share for the past few weeks. It’s round-up time, bitches.

• Restaurateur Stephen Starr has set his sights on DC.  What are we gonna do tonight, Stephen? Same thing we do every night, try to take over the world by opening yet another luxury asian-fusion pretentierie, this time in our nation’s capitol.
• The Ivy League sucks at sports? Whatever.
• Bikes beat cars, and also make you look more badass, which is why we’ve taken to walking around with one of our pant legs jauntily rolled up. J/K you can’t really roll up gaucho shorts. (But they’re badass in their own way.)
• Supreme Court lady-in-waiting Sonia Sontomayor’s brother Juan Sotomayor did a fellowship at CHOP. According to the right wing site we saw this on, that’s grounds for smearing him.  That pinko ivory tower educated bastard.
• Some delirious old man wrote in to Princeton’s alumni mag to complain about the preponderence of women overruning his fair alma mater.
• Penn’s women’s ultimate frisbee team tied for fifth place in the nation. Rock on, ladies.
• And just for the lulz: a tipster wrote in to tell us that www.pod.com belongs not to the 36th Street sushi mecca, but is “a blank webpage except for a large picture of a badger/skunk/beaver.” We kind of love that.