34th Street MagazineNovember 21, 2013 at 9:00 am

STREET Presents: Shoutouts and Senior Superlatives!

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Gossip Squirrel here. Your one and only source into the lives of Penn’s scandalous elite. Except not cultural elite—it’s only senior superlatives. Spotted: some thankful Penn students SABSing on the Van Pelt couches just longing for Thanksgiving break. Although the winter blues might be causing a serious lack of drama, I can tell you who’s going down next: Daughtry.

And here’s a scandal for you: my sources tell me that two Penn frosh went on a blind date with some mood lighting. Dating? “Dinner and a movie?” So passé. Unless it’s Pod or White Dog, you’re not good enough for Gossip Squirrel.

But if my dish isn’t enough for you, there’s always your own submissions. You may think I’m bad, but you’re your own worst enemy

And who am I? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. You know you love me.

XOXO, Gossip Squirrel

ShutterButtonFebruary 27, 2013 at 10:05 am

ShutterButton: Retro Commencement

resolverPictured here is the class of 1930′s commencement ceremony in the oh-so-historic Palestra. Yes, seniors, this is a wake up call reminding you that you’re getting closer to the real world and that in three months, your commencement ceremony will also be added to the archives (tear). Don’t forget to register to walk, and just be glad that your ceremony won’t take place in a tightly packed building with no air conditioning. Talk about major sweat stains on that super cute Elsa Shiaparelli dress.

Seniors, don't forget to apply for graduation! Fill out this form by Friday. Or else.
NewsJanuary 29, 2013 at 1:07 pm

Feb Club Is Upon Us With Cheesy Video Accompaniment

Friday marks not only the first February of 2013, but the very last February that the Class of 2013 will spend together at Penn.  In keeping with tradition, the Class Board has put together a month of events for seniors to celebrate this carefree time before the Real World strikes.  And they’re getting totally sappy, y’all.  Aside from the promo vid, with its mushy music and awkward hug line, each week will correspond to an undergraduate year so we won’t miss the chance to realize how fast it’s all gone by. Seniors can pick up their official Feb Club cards this Thursday and Friday in Rodin and everyone can peep the full Feb Club schedule here.

FeaturesNovember 22, 2012 at 1:22 pm

Who’s Thanking Whom? An Investigative Report

Gobble gobble and such, it’s Sangskeebing, y’all! We’re thankful that it’s finally time to put on a nice chunky sweater for granny and shove a Wawa Gobbler down our gullets before waking up at 3 a.m. to grab a “Are you 18+? Then you can Tickle-Me-Elmo” at the local WalMart. Yum-o! But enough about us; what about the rest of campus? We asked some of our favorite people and groups around campus what they were thankful for, and here’s what we found:

Your neighborhood friends are thankful that you’re home and they can’t wait to hang out but OMG, please don’t invite Jamie, we don’t know how to tell you this, but we absolutely hate Jamie and no one’s kept in touch with her since high school except you. Okay?

Mikey is thankful for his Dove chocolates and open-minded family.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Perks Of Being A Senior– Hey, seniors! Trynna get a drink later tonight at Smoke's before classes come back to haunt us? Flash your PennCard (printed with its impending August 2013 doom) and you get a pint on the house. See you there!
NewsSeptember 6, 2012 at 2:43 pm


Seniors, Hey Day was– what? Almost five months ago?  Anyway, we can’t say that we had fun until the Class Board officially says we had fun, and so they made this video to tell us that YES! We did have fun! See? Look at all those drunk eyes and sheepish grins; feel the crunch of styrofoam in your mouthhole at 0:47; hear the ecstatic screams of a girl and her hamburger at 2:01. Too bad we remember 0% of it, because apparently it was the best day of our lives. Right, girl at 2:06? Preach.

Seniors, Say Bye Bye — Because on Sunday, your bursaring privileges will *poof* disappear. Today is the final day to discreetly charge exorbitant purchases to your parents (hello, new MacBook from Computer Connection). It's, like, entering the real world or something.
Fall 2012 Advance Registration Opens Tomorrow– But if you haven't picked your classes yet, you have until April 1 before advance registration closes. (2012'ers, now is the time to consider becoming a Super Senior.)
NewsJanuary 30, 2012 at 10:42 am

Feb Club Promises New Friendships, All-Around Awkwardness

After January, there is February. In February, there is Feb Club. Otherwise known as That Month Spent Avoiding All The Randos You Facebook Friended Before Penn, Feb Club comprises the 28 29(!) days when important seniors make less important seniors feel special. Each day presents a new opportunity for 2012-ers to get their “cards” “stamped” (this is actually what happens) at fun places scattered throughout Philly, and most involve some level of boozing.

But wait, there’s MORE!