One of us is getting a BJ right now. Can you guess who?

The media really jumped on that Tufts dorm sex rule story for some reason. Maybe it’s because the public is so interested in dorm life issues? Get over college already! Stop living in the past! Anyway, the Philadelphia Inquirer wrote an article about it and spoke to some Penn students:

“You’ve got to get fist pounds,” said Cory Winkoff, a junior communication major at the University of Pennsylvania.

He and a group of friends high-fived one another when the subject was introduced.

“We’re happy when our friends are hooking up,” agreed Terry Kennedy, a junior political-science major. “It’s college; it kind of happens.”

Come on, guys, you know what it’s like. Roommate getting busy on the top bunk? You throw your fist up and just wait for him to reach down and pound. Because if you don’t, the girl is totally going to say (read: nag – am I right fellas?), “Listen, I had a nice time last night, but I’m a little worried…I didn’t see you get any fist pounds when we were making love. Are you some kind of friendless pansy? YOU’VE GOT TO GET FIST POUNDS.” Like we always say: Bros before strange rules that seem unnecessary because of common courtesy.

Well, this is hilarious. According to CNN, Tufts University has created a new policy regarding sexual intercourse in dormitories. It forbids students from both having sex while a roommate is in the room, and inconveniencing a roommate by asking he or she to leave while you…make love.

No penalties for breaking the rules have been announced, nor has a plan for how one might enforce them. We imagine that at the very least, hanging a rubber band on the doorknob will have to be replaced by something less obvious to the roving RA.

Check out the video to hear what Tufts students have to say, as well as an anchorwoman who defines “sexile” in a dramatic fashion.