Try to think back, before your headache and irritable stomach, before the substances and barbecue that made them thus, before you even donned your Fl1nG T4NK on Friday. On Thursday, UTB gave you some homework. Now we’re collecting it.

1. Submit your Shoutouts (cause, like, they’re DUE TOMORROW and you haven’t yet) to the box over thurr —>

2. Send us your pics with Fling Stanley so that you can become Internet Famous.

3. Send us your texts from Fling, area code included.

Our email is tips@underthebutton.com. Don’t delay, because this counts for 30% of your semester grade and you KNOW you bombed the midterm.

Don’t even think about taking advantage of VP’s extended study hours and doing work this Fling weekend. However, you have three homework assignments to complete amidst the debauchery:

1. Submit to SHOUTOUTS. Oh-we-oh-we-oh-we-oh.
2. Take pics with FLING STANLEY. Bonus if A-Gut photo-bombs.
3. Tip us your greatest TEXTS FROM FLING.

That’s right, for the third straight Fling, we’ll be compiling your greatest texts from the weekend for an upcoming UTB feature! Send ‘em in to tips@underthebutton.com all weekend! Include yo area code so it looks like this:

(215): Hii hiow far does pennride go out???!! i’m stranded in Viullanova HELP ME IM POOR

Shout ‘em out, shout ‘em out! That’s right, kiddies: trees are blossoming, finals are looming, and flings are getting flung. But perhaps the most important spring tradition of all is upon us: Shoutouts. 34th Street presents your bi-annual opportunity to tell that hot professor, your klepto roommate, and the mouth–breather in your history recitation exactly how you feel. Submit your anonymous messages of love (or hate or lust) to your roomies/enemies/lovers/UTB editors (please?) via shoutouts@34st.com, Street’s website OR that sexy fuchsia tip box to the right — Britney approves.

You know, a lot of guys be thinkin’ Rodin shoutouts are about them. This is not to get confused, this one’s for you. Kevin, you they everything, you all they ever wanted. You can do it real big, bigger than you’ve ever done it. You be up on everything, other guys ain’t never on it.  They say you da you da best, you da you da best, you da you da best, you da you da best. You the best they ever had, best they ever had, best they ever had, best they ever had.

This week marks the end of an era. The birth of a butterfly. The death of a caterpillar. Or something like that. Whatever.

It’s time for SHOUTOUTS. So eat ‘em up. Yeah.

While you’re at it, check out Ego of the Week Zack Rosen and his shadow Shaam. Food & Drink gets you through those stress eating days ahead with some healthy options. Film breaks our movie habits down by the numbers.

Music chats up student bands about SPEC’s Penn Collective show tonight. Hint: there’s one cool chick among these hot d00dz. Arts brings you the best of First Friday.

Don’t miss out on our feature: an in-depth look at Penn’s very own 2003 sex scandal. Sound familiar?

Was your gossip overlooked by Highbrow?
Is there someone special in your life you’d like to toast or roast?

Well ’tis the season to be snarky. Shoutouts are coming to town and we hope you’ve all been very naughty.

Get your submissions in by November 23rd to SHOUTOUTS@34ST.COM or online RIGHT HERE through UTB’s annual handy dandy anonymous tip box.

Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. It’s that time of the year again. The glorious time when Penn students snicker at passersby and point at those shouted out. So count the penis jokes, the peeing puns and the creepy professor come–ons. It’s SHOUTOUT time. Looking for just the Shoutouts? You’ll have to wait until later to read them online, or just pick up the magazine instead.

For those of you who care about things other than shitting on people (anybody?) we’ve got a few other enticing options for you.

See a few ways to avoid the same of a shoutout, a delicious recipe for a highball (a Franklin favorite) and a delicious guilty pleasure of St. Elmo’s Fire (Rob Lowe, you are smokin’).

Our centerspread features the OCD, a Philly–born high school rap duo. Their names are Moosh and Twist. You can’t make this up.

Music checks in with some favorite professors to get their take on the likes of Rihanna and Kanye. Looking for a place to clear your mind? Arts has you covered with the most relaxing spots on campus.

Yup. Here they are. Read them. Love them. Live them.

Once you can tear yourself away from those golden droplets of raw campus feeling (maybe take a glance at the .pdf version too, just for good measure), check out the rest of Street! Our cover story is a look inside the lives and friendship of Philly’s oh-so-Jolly Dueling Piano duo. Penn Ballers Jack Eggelston and Tyler Bernadini are Ego(s) of the Week, Food & Drink asks campus foodies to profile their favorite local fares, and Film has an interview with Christian Bale, Mark Wahlberg and the rest of the cast of next week’s boxing biopic The Fighter.

Music digests four new holiday albums (uh huh, Mariah’s new release is in the mix), Arts previews art exhibitions both near and far(ther), and Highbrow is chock full of gossip, opinion and dispatches per usual.

A little Shoutout cheer, after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Because they’re hip? On your hip? Or we’re hip. Oh, so hip.

In this week’s issue, we feature Philly Fellows — a group living meets community outreach program which eases recent college graduates into the world of non-profits. The boys of BMOC are Ego of the Week, we take a look inside hooking up in the era of bromance in Highbrow and we schlep across to Chinatown and then down to South Philly to witness a vegetarian’s first cheesesteak in Food & Drink. Music answers your questions about speakers, Film give you a in-depth look at next semester’s Cinema Studies classes, and Arts hits the First Friday sidewalks. And having a hard time deciding what career path to head down once you leave Penn? Lowbrow’s got some ideas.

There’s a Writers’ Meeting tonight, 6:30 p.m. at 4015 Walnut. But lets be real, most importantly: as of now, we are currently accepting submissions for this semesters’ Shoutouts, set to hit stands on Dec. 2nd. Put your mean, witty, clever, grateful, spiteful and/or vengeful faces on and get a’writing — at shoutouts@34st.com, we always welcome you with open arms. And hips. As long as you send them in by Nov. 28th.