Try to think back, before your headache and irritable stomach, before the substances and barbecue that made them thus, before you even donned your Fl1nG T4NK on Friday. On Thursday, UTB gave you some homework. Now we’re collecting it.
1. Submit your Shoutouts (cause, like, they’re DUE TOMORROW and you haven’t yet) to the box over thurr —>
2. Send us your pics with Fling Stanley so that you can become Internet Famous.
Don’t even think about taking advantage of VP’s extended study hours and doing work this Fling weekend. However, you have three homework assignments to complete amidst the debauchery:
1. Submit to SHOUTOUTS. Oh-we-oh-we-oh-we-oh.
2. Take pics with FLING STANLEY. Bonus if A-Gut photo-bombs.
3. Tip us your greatest TEXTS FROM FLING.
That’s right, for the third straight Fling, we’ll be compiling your greatest texts from the weekend for an upcoming UTB feature! Send ‘em in to firstname.lastname@example.org all weekend! Include yo area code so it looks like this:
(215): Hii hiow far does pennride go out???!! i’m stranded in Viullanova HELP ME IM POOR
Shout ‘em out, shout ‘em out! That’s right, kiddies: trees are blossoming, finals are looming, and flings are getting flung. But perhaps the most important spring tradition of all is upon us: Shoutouts. 34th Street presents your bi-annual opportunity to tell that hot professor, your klepto roommate, and the mouth–breather in your history recitation exactly how you feel. Submit your anonymous messages of love (or hate or lust) to your roomies/enemies/lovers/UTB editors (please?) via email@example.com, Street’s website OR that sexy fuchsia tip box to the right — Britney approves.
You know, a lot of guys be thinkin’ Rodin shoutouts are about them. This is not to get confused, this one’s for you. Kevin, you they everything, you all they ever wanted. You can do it real big, bigger than you’ve ever done it. You be up on everything, other guys ain’t never on it. They say you da you da best, you da you da best, you da you da best, you da you da best. You the best they ever had, best they ever had, best they ever had, best they ever had.
Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. It’s that time of the year again. The glorious time when Penn students snicker at passersby and point at those shouted out. So count the penis jokes, the peeing puns and the creepy professor come–ons. It’s SHOUTOUT time. Looking for just the Shoutouts? You’ll have to wait until later to read them online, or just pick up the magazine instead.
For those of you who care about things other than shitting on people (anybody?) we’ve got a few other enticing options for you.
There’s a Writers’ Meeting tonight, 6:30 p.m. at 4015 Walnut. But lets be real, most importantly: as of now, we are currently accepting submissions for this semesters’ Shoutouts, set to hit stands on Dec. 2nd. Put your mean, witty, clever, grateful, spiteful and/or vengeful faces on and get a’writing — at firstname.lastname@example.org, we always welcome you with open arms. And hips. As long as you send them in by Nov. 28th.