I pledge allegiance…to the band…of Mr. Kweder–or so he hopes.

Kenn Kweder is the latest to jump on the crowdfunding bandwagon, trying to raise money Kickstarter-style to make a documentary about his life.

“An icon” and “a pioneer” in the Philly music scene (according to his website), but more accurately a cross between Mr. Schneebly and a fratty Bruce Springsteen, Kweder is looking for your support. A 5 dollar donation buys you exclusive production updates while they shoot the film. 50 bucks gets you a digital copy of the film. $1000 earns you a private house concert.

Let’s rock today!

Your parents have been away from you for just over a month, and already they’re worried that something dire has happened: you’ve used up all six bottles of shampoo, the labels on your underwear came off in the wash, you haven’t found a nice Jewish boy yet…

So they’ve decided to come to campus this weekend, staying in the room at the Inn at Penn that they’ve had reserved since December 15th, to “see your life on campus” and “get to know your friends a little better.” [Subtitle: "We can't wait to meet Smoke! Ya know, that kid whose dorm you go to every Thursday and Saturday night?"]. Midterms or OCR can’t stop them now. They’re here for 3 days, and they want to see it all. Here’s your guide to skip-able events as well as those to not miss! Click here for a day-by-day guide…

Anticipating boredom on Friday? Done with finals and hangin’ around? Stop by the first ever “Smoke’s Sit In,” which will be happening tomorrow from 11am until 2am. That’s right, fifteen straight hours of drinking, games and mayhem at every 21 plus’ favorite campus watering hole.

Though you won’t get your name on a plaque, there’s a good chance you end up drinking more on this one day than Feb Club goers did in four years at Penn.

Get your drinking pants on now because registration ends tomorrow for what sounds like a winning combo: a team scavenger hunt and bar crawl through some of our favorite (…and not so favorite) UCity spots on Cinco de Mayo! (For you Anglophiles, that’s May 5th.)

According to uwishunu, Young Friends of University City, which exists, is partnering with six bars and restaurants to put on the first (annual, we hope) “Hunt ‘n Crawl”. Participants form teams of up to 10, and then complete a list of tasks and challenges throughout University City at spots like City Tap House, Landmark Americana Tap & Grill, New Deck Tavern, Smokey Joe’s, The Blockley, and Pizza Rustica.

All participants get in on the drink specials offered at each locale, as well as a few other perks. We’re hearing reports of “Hunt N Crawl” promotional T-shirts, and in culturally insensitive Cinco de Mayo fashion, a team sombrero. The winners will receive a complimentary brunch at City Tap House and a $75 bar credit at Blockley. Take us out for a drink after you claim your prize!

You wanna know what’s hapPENNing? Spring Fling is happening. That’s it. Boom.

(Just kidding. The world doesn’t stop entirely for Fling! Read on for other cool events this week.)

Red Giants and Fat Panther at Smoke’s
Who: Red Giants and Fat Panther
When and where: Tonight, 10:30; Smoke’s
Why: Well, it certainly is an excuse to start Fling on a Monday. Not that you need one.

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Everybody’s HAD IT with those kids who email an entire class listserv three days before a midterm begging someone, anyone, to send them the entire semester’s worth of notes because their computer “mysteriously crashed” or they “missed class.” Nobody has fallen for it. Ever. And carelessly losing your laptop in Mexico during Spring Break isn’t likely to garner any sympathy, but the email below sent to one HIST431 class may be the most enticing plea ever:

Dear frienemies and people I have never met,

I come to you all in a time of great need, dare I say great peril. I returned on Friday from Puerto Vallarta minus one shiny new Macbook, with which I had embarked. Is it currently in the hands of Mexican Banditos, using its awesome computing power to gain control of the cocaine trade, or was it taken by the lady who cleaned my villa? The answer: I may never know. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s the home stretch before Spring Break, everybody! So there’s probably a good chance you’re trapped under a pile of books and swimming in papers until you can shed the North Faces and sun those nips in the beautiful vacation destination of your choice. Let’s see if you can’t steal away a minute or two to attend some of the awesome events going on this week.

When Humanity Fails: UN General Romeo Dallaire
Who: Moral Voices
When and where: Today, 7:30-9 p.m.; Zellerbach
Why: As commander of the UN’s peacekeeping forces during the genocide in Rwanda, Dallaire’s got a lot to say about his experiences. Check out his talk on the prevention of mass atrocities today on campus! How neat is that?

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Today is Monday, February 20th, 2012, which is PRESIDENTS’ DAY! Make sure to take a moment out of your busy schedule to present your sacrificial offerings and kowtow in front of the Walnut street residence of Her Highness, She of the Golden Locks, Amy Gutmann.

Red Giants Rocks Out At Smoke’s
Who: Red Giants
When and where: Today, 11 p.m.-2 a.m.; Smoke’s
Why: The Facebook event touts the group’s “new music and new members,” which are two rad enough reasons to head over to Smoke’s later. Check out the band’s snazzy new website, featuring– WARNING: MUST BE 18 YEARS OR OLDER TO PROCEED– some gal Déjeuner sur l’herbe-ing.

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