Being a second semester senior is a confusing time. We want to kick back and enjoy our last semester at Penn, but there’s still all this stuff looming above our heads. Stuff like classes, extracurriculars, our inevitable entry into the real world. And to top it off, it doesn’t help that Penn makes it sound like everyone else has it together besides us.
But despite how stress-inducing Penn can be, for one month over the course of your four year stay it likes to say, “Hey. Take a load off. Get drunk.” That month is almost here. Feb Club officially kicks off next Monday at Smokes. (A full calendar of events can be found here). And as per an extensive email from Senior Class prez Arthur Gardner Smith, there’s a bit of preparation needed if you want to participate. Read the deets after the jump.
Don’t you sometimes wish you could find a life-size poster of Kirk Cameron, smack in the middle of your weekly issue of Street? Perhaps your quest for the perfect butterfly clip to pin back those nasty flyaway hairs, has left you feeling frustrated and alone. Or maybe you just want to learn how to make edible jewelry to wear to your BFFAEAE’s totally bomb pool party. Well this week, Street can show you how because it’s the Joke Issue, where prepubescent dreams come true!
This week, All That’s Ashley is here to answer your most embarrassing questions with some heartfelt advice. We have a rockin’ movie review of everyone’s faves, MK & A; a complex quiz to assess what kind of lip moisturizer best fits your quirky personalities and we test to see if you really have what it takes to be a Mambo #5 Girl.
But the Joke Issue wouldn’t be complete without Cultural Elite: the dreaded (for some) yet instantly satisfying (for all) Street-selected list of cool (or sometimes, totally uncool) seniors that you should want to know (of).
So, like, OK. As you’re about to embark on your last day of classes remember to pick up a copy of Tiger Street (or download the PDF) and let your teeny bopper adventures begin! And because we’re really good at studying for finals, this week’s writers’ meeting will be tequila-filled at Smoke’s. Check inside the issue to see if you’ve been crushed!
Amy Gutmann conferred seniors’ Penn diplomas yesterday morning, but Smoke’s patrons had the chance to earn an even more exclusive diploma at the 40th Street institution. Check out one of the certificates below, which the owner was handing out last night (this one belongs to a UTB housemate):
When we heard about the senior class board’s “Last Chance to Cuddle” party, we were all, “psssh, as if I’m going to send Brett Perlmutter a list of my crushes.” Based on past class board debacles involving user submissions, we guessed that the information would not exactly be secure. But then everybody started talking about the stupid cuddle party, and we were like, “fine, fine, we’ll check it out.” We visited the page, realized that if you start typing in your e-mail address and get a prompt to complete it that might mean that someone has already entered your name, and immediately became transfixed by the tantalizing possibility that someone might have a crush on us! So we opened up the excel spread sheet where we keep records of all our crushes, calculated the top ten using a complicated formula that incorporates height, future earning potential and number of Facebook friends, and submitted the top ten. Now we’re just crossing our fingers for a match. To all the dummies that submitted Gmail addresses rather than webmail addresses: we find your inability to follow directions endearing, see you at the concurrent “Last Chance to be Rejected” party at Ben & Jerry’s Friday night?
Starting around 9 p.m., the corner of 40th and Walnut started to flood with West Philly teenagers. Hundreds of them. McDonalds, Fresh Grocer, and Greek Lady closed their doors to business while the police barricaded Walnut between 39th and 40th, and 40th between Walnut and Market. Tipsters reported seeing nightstick-wielding police officers attempting to herd the mob away from campus, as well as helicopters circling the area at around 10:30. By 11:00, the mob had dispersed and the line outside of Smokes (protected by a security guard) was back to its usual Saturday bustle. According to the DP, the Philadelphia Police Department has reported an assault against an officer.
In this installment of our visual Penn survival guide, a collaboration between UTB and David Comberg’s Information Design class (FNAR 337), we prep you for the upcoming weekend with a handy guide for steering clear of your Pennemies. Click on the thumbnail to see the full image, and View previous images here.
This will be the graduation of this generation of this decade.
Just because you have to graduate (sad) and leave all your friends (really sad) as you burst out of the Penn bubble into a world without jobs (wow, this is even sadder than we thought) doesn’t mean that Graduation itself can’t be fun! Right? The DAB is trying to make you feel just a little bit better – cheering you all up as Feb Club comes to an end, perhaps? – by making a photo slide show to show to parents at the College graduation. They want you to remember that the photos will be seen by mom and dad, so keep it clothed and kosher. If psuedo-celebrity in May isn’t motivation enough, think of this: “At the end of each month, we will have a random drawing from submitted photos for gift cards from local restaurants/bars like Smoke’s, Pod, Distrito and Mad4Mex.”
To be a part of this last-ever Class of ‘09 facebook album, email your pics to graduation@penndab.org
Greetings from Van Pelt, where we have hunkered down to wait out this dark rainy abyss of a Thursday. The only thing keeping us going is the new issue of Street, which conveniently has Smoke’s right on the cover. Let’s take a peek inside, shall we?
The centerfold, if you will, is the aforementioned valentine to Smoke[y Joe]’s, which is a much better Pennstitution than the econ screem or whatever, if you ask us. Next up, the Highbrow section brings us a dispatch from Penn’s Brown-town, also known as the South Asian community. Consider your cross-cultural analysis requirement fulfilled! Over in the film section, we learn that, in addition to Beyonce, Michael Gold also has a special place in his heart for Newsies. And Lowbrow caps off the issue with a delightful recounting of Amelia Bedelia-Cohen’s adventures at Penn. Hooray! And don’t forget about our writers’ meeting tonight, for magaziners and bloggers alike–6:30 at 4015 Walnut.
A tipster tells us that Alicia Sacramone, Olympic gymnast and fellow Ivy Leaguer (she goes to Brown), made a cameo at Smoke’s on Wednesday night. Um, whoa! She totally won us over this summer, and not just because she’s pretty and Ivy League, but also because she seems tough, like that rebel gymnast in Stick It. And we happen to know that she was in town for a gymnastics event at the Wachovia Center yesterday, so she must have decided to squeeze in some Sink or Swim while she was in Philly. Smoke’s is pretty strict with I.D.’s, but we guess exceptions can be made for Olympians who don’t turn 21 until December. (No such luck for fellow Olympians Nastia Liukin and Shawn Johnson, born in 1989 and 1992 respectively. And don’t even get us started on the Chinese women’s team–would they even be able to get into a PG-13 movie?) Anybody have any pictures with Alicia? E-mail us!
For those of you who don’t spend 100% of your internet time on facebook and reading celebrity gossip, political and shopping blogs like me (and I’m kickass), I would like to inform you that the recent Ivy-Graduates-in-San-Fransisco-Constituency, also known as “Team Google” have created a new feature to prevent you from writing drunk emails.
Mail Goggles, as they are called, note a frequency in typos and interrupt your rant to an ex with math equations. If you are competent enough to solve said problems, you may continue your well-wishing of the syph and herpes.
Now, this idea could work if your emails looks like this: djklfasdlkfjaklghah. While this may be beneficial to some, I have to ask: how many of you actually drunk email?
This year’s crop of new shows has been dismal (Kath and Kim, I knew it wouldn’t be good, but still it hurts). So while it may be too quick to champion a new show after only watching the premiere, I’m gonna go ahead and do that for funsies… and because it may be the only good one out there.
Life on Mars, based on the British show of the same name, follows a modern day cop who gets hit by a car and wakes up in 1973. But it’s not about the time travel so much as how Detective Sam Tyler deals with the comparatively rough precinct (read: full of sexist, alcoholic, blatant rule-breaking cops) he now founds him himself working in. Starring Jason O’Mara (aka the creeptastical firestarter/Brenda stalker from The Closer), Harvey Keitel, Gretchen Mol, and Michael Imperioli, rocking a ’stache to rival both Earl Hickey and Tom Decker, Life on Mars is a gritty, occasionally funny, and no-holds barred take on the traditional cop drama. And it should make Jason O’Mara a huge star:
Watch the season premiere on ABC.com, catch the second episode at 10 and then head out to Smoke’s. Now that’s a Thursday.
PS- for Cosby Show fans, Life on Mars also features Lisa Bonet’s return to TV! What up, Denise!
Remember our sassy columnist Carlin? She’s back to narrate a night at Smoke’s…through Gossip Girl’s eyes.
Just another Thursday at Smoke's
Last week I wrote about the in-class crush. For the sake of contrast I wanted to chronicle for you, my dear readers (i.e., my housemates and lineage), a recent night at Smoke’s so you can see that we Penn students are not unlike those we love to watch. As I am not an anonymous writer, all names have been changed. Consider me your Serena Van der Woodsen du jour. Until Monday night, that is. Boker tov, my little rodents!
Spotted: J, thirsty as usual and reminiscing at Smoke’s, eyeing former fling Carlin. Could it be a rekindling of flames? Or has C left him in the dust of his alum ashes?
It seems the two are okay as they say hello. Doesn’t J have a girlfriend? Didn’t C move on a week later? C sees her friends have arrived, drinks in hand, swaying to Rihanna. Better offer, C? I think so.
God bless America! Photo credit: The New York Times
The first presidential debate was last night. And rather than live-blogging it like every other blog on earth, we’d like to talk about where you were when you were watching it. Samantha Jones once said, “I don’t believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party. I just believe in parties,” and that’s a philosophy we take to heart. (Except not really, ’cause we’re obviously Democrats like 80% of the students at Penn, haha.)
So, where did you watch the debates? Below, a spectrum from coolest to most loserly:
Messianic: From Obama’s campaign headquarters.
Super Chill: At Smoke’s.
Endearingly Nerdy: With members of Penn Dems/College Republicans/Penn Parli.
Respectable: On your couch/in a common room with your friends.
Kind of Weird: In the nearly-empty cardio room on the second floor of Pottruck, while sitting on a stationery bike you weren’t even peddling. (This may or may not be where we were. Is this whole blog just an excuse to brag every time we go to the gym? Maybe!)
Pathetic: In your room, alone, while flipping to America’s Funniest Home Videos during commercials.
*By the way, the title of this post doesn’t make a whole lot of sense; it was intended to be a parody of those banners for frat parties that say stupid things like “18 to vandalize, 21 to scandalize,” as if any party would turn away nubile not-yet-18 pre-frosh.
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When we heard about the senior class board’s “
Starting around 9 p.m., the corner of 40th and Walnut started to flood with West Philly teenagers. Hundreds of them. McDonalds, Fresh Grocer, and Greek Lady closed their doors to business while the police barricaded Walnut between 39th and 40th, and 40th between Walnut and Market. Tipsters reported seeing nightstick-wielding police officers attempting to herd the mob away from campus, as well as helicopters circling the area at around 10:30. By 11:00, the mob had dispersed and the line outside of Smokes (protected by a security guard) was back to its usual Saturday bustle. 
In this installment of our visual 
A tipster tells us that Alicia Sacramone, Olympic gymnast and fellow Ivy Leaguer (she goes to Brown), made a cameo at Smoke’s on Wednesday night. Um, whoa! She totally won us over this summer, and not just because she’s pretty and Ivy League, but also because she seems tough, like that rebel gymnast in Stick It. And we happen to know that she was in town for a 
