NewsFebruary 28, 2013 at 6:14 pm

Who Says Penn Kids Can’t ~Party~

textYou’re done. Visions of bro tanks and plastic cup margaritas dancing in your head, you step out of your very last midterm and into the sunlight—But wait: you have ONE more assignment to do during your week of crazy debauchery in Mexi-cabo-iami: submit your craziest Spring Break texts anonymously to 34th Street!

When you wake up toothless on the beach to a bunch of extremely awkward texts you don’t even remember sending to your T.A., don’t worry. You’ll laugh about it when school starts up and you’re back to Van Pelt parties. This may be your chance to go down in SB2k13 glory forever. If not, at least let us all laugh at you.

NewsMarch 11, 2012 at 3:10 pm

Will Trade Booze For Notes

Everybody’s HAD IT with those kids who email an entire class listserv three days before a midterm begging someone, anyone, to send them the entire semester’s worth of notes because their computer “mysteriously crashed” or they “missed class.” Nobody has fallen for it. Ever. And carelessly losing your laptop in Mexico during Spring Break isn’t likely to garner any sympathy, but the email below sent to one HIST431 class may be the most enticing plea ever:

Dear frienemies and people I have never met,

I come to you all in a time of great need, dare I say great peril. I returned on Friday from Puerto Vallarta minus one shiny new Macbook, with which I had embarked. Is it currently in the hands of Mexican Banditos, using its awesome computing power to gain control of the cocaine trade, or was it taken by the lady who cleaned my villa? The answer: I may never know. Read the rest of this entry »

34th Street MagazineMarch 1, 2012 at 9:17 am

STREET Presents: Spring Break Texts From Last Night

We know you’re feeling :( because there’s no Street this week, but cheer up, kid. We’ve got something arguably better than Shoutouts after break- yup, Spring Break Texts From Last Night! Now you can let the world know how jealous you are everyone on your hall is going to Puerto Vallarta or that idiot in your writing seminar is going to Europe while you’re stuck at home. The best ones will go in print in our March 15th publication. Snazzy, eh?

Submit your Spring Break texts to us before midnight on March 12th. Sound good? Good. And have a wonderful break or whatever.

Highbrow Besos!

NewsFebruary 21, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Where The Mardi Party At?

Though you might not remember the whole trip, you’re probably still having Mardi Gras withdrawals after your epic spring break in NOLA last March. While we can’t bring you Pat O’s or Bourbon Street, here are some of the snazziest, jazziest ways to ring in Fat Tuesday tonight right here in Philly. The following are all BYOB (bring your own beads).

City Tap House: A Mardi menu – including gumbo, etouffee, po boys and bread pudding – is made complete with Abita Draughts and live music by the Black Bird Society Orchestra. Quizzo is still on, too.

Blockley Pourhouse: Brass Heaven, Swift Technique, Hamburger Hunt and The 9′s will be playing at 8 p.m. Tickets are $5 at the door, and there will be a $10 open bar between 8 and 10 p.m.

Click here for more Mardi Gras celebrations

ShutterButtonJanuary 6, 2012 at 10:59 am

Shutterbutton: I Love The 90s

Yo, even in the 90s, the dudes of Zeta Psi were all that and a bag of chips. Damn skippy! Here’s a snap of some homeslices chillin’ over Spring Break 1990 in Montego Bay looking fly, fresh and dope. If you don’t think so, you’re clueless, straight trippin’ and we advise you to talk to the hand.

Check out more tight, pimpin’, stylin’ shots after the jump. Word. (Or hit up alum uploads directly at YouAre Penn, a neato site run by Penn Alumni. Boo ya!) Read the rest of this entry »

NewsMarch 8, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Stuck On Campus? Go Do Something!

For some poor unfortunate souls, spring break just means an extra-lonesome week stuck wandering around campus. Whether you’re knee deep in your thesis, studying for some upcoming exam, or just lacking something to do, those of you without travel plans need some activities to keep your social skills and brain from completely atrophying over the remainder of the week. Luckily, the city of Philadelphia never takes a break, so there’s plenty to do around town. Follow us after the jump for our recommendations (click the links for all the necessary logistical details). Read the rest of this entry »

FeaturesMarch 3, 2011 at 3:19 pm

Rite of Spring Break: Where Should You Be Going?

Midterm season is almost over, and soon it’ll be time to pack your bags and brochill, chillax and calm those areolae in your destination of choice. But not all spring break vacation spots are created equal, and sometimes you may not even know what you’re getting yourself into! But don’t get your panties in a bunch– using highly mathematical and advanced research techniques, we’ve developed this nifty lil’ quiz to help you sort through where you should be spending the next week. To the questions!

1. What is your greatest fear?
a. Sunblock
b. Bras
c. Other people
d. Amy Winehouse
e. Literacy

Read the rest of this entry »

FeaturesMarch 2, 2011 at 3:51 pm

So You’re Going On Spring Break

Spring Break: it’s finally almost here. In the interests of public safety and having as much of our shit together as possible, we thought we’d provide you breakers with some basic facts on the most popular destinations.

Yes, we realize there’s an internet out there (aka where we copy and pasted all this information from), but maybe it helps to have it all in one place! Or maybe your drunk-ass selves will remember nothing but this post. We’re here for you if/when that happens.

Haven’t made your plans yet? No worries, tomorrow we’ll have a really serious quiz for you to take to find out which of these lovely destinations should be graced with your presence. Until then, on to a large list of facts! Read the rest of this entry »

NewsFebruary 2, 2011 at 10:56 am

Spring, She Awakens!

Punxsutawney Phil (the wascawwy lil’ dude responsible for the meteorological fate of the entire northern hemisphere) didn’t see his shadow this morning! According to ancient Mayan tradition, this means that spring will arrive early, so get ahead of yourself and pack away all that ungainly foul weather gear. It also means…

-Spring Fling will, by association, also come early. Performer rumors will abound – Nicki Minaj? Ke$ha? The Three Tenors?

-The snow-and-ice covered hellscape that is Philadelphia should thaw and get balmy within the week. Break out the culottes!

-Spring break will likely get extended by a week or three. Pull through for us, administrators. You didn’t even give us a snow day.

But of course, all of this is just wishful thinking. Happy groundhog day, and let’s hope for a speedy end to our collective winter nightmare. Ed. Note: An earlier version of this story incorrectly stated that Punxsutawney Phil had seen his shadow. It has since been corrected.

UncategorizedMarch 18, 2010 at 9:52 am

Street Missed You! And Is Jealous Of Your Tan.

Welcome back, dear readers, from your far off beaches and emerald-clad day drinking. Welcome back from your villas, your cruise ships, your volunteer high-horses and your parent’s couches. Welcome back to the grim (but Spring-ish!) clutches of reality.

We could dwell on the impending doom of finals and graduation and internships and cankles, but to be honest we’d rather talk about ourselves. And thank goodness, because this week’s issue of Street is anything but grim. Our feature is the story of Giovanni’s Room, the country’s oldest gay book store, and its fight for first acceptance and now survival. Food gives us the granola bar lowdown, Music helps you find a summer job in the Music industry and Bobby Valentino checks in with a post- Spring Break message to the bodacious shorties among you. Ronald Jordache (yes, Jordache!) Wynn of Mask & Wig is Ego of the Week, and of course there’s the usual gossip (omgbestbreakever), reviews and general wonderfulness.

Pick up the issue! Or download the .pdf. Regardless: our weekly Writers’ Meetings will resume tonight, 6:30 p.m. at 4015 Walnut. If you have any interest in contributing to Street, stop on by!!