Remember one week ago today? Your hangover was still in full swing, the memories of Fling as gone as they are right now, the Instagrams telling a dark tale of debauchery. Fling has now been officially over for a week, and to commemorate its anniversary (only 355 more days!), UTB proudly presents a compilation of the texts YOU submitted throughout the last seven days. You’ve recovered from last weekend’s mayhem – although a residual high from last night is understandable – and now its time to relive the rowdy via area code.
The Drunchie Heroine
(267): I’m at tap. Audrey is non responsive
(717): I’m coming! Stay!
(267): Ok! By fire pita
(215): Sorry I was having sex. Save me pita
There are so many more…
When you were in elementary school, did you participate in the Flat Stanley Project?
For those who didn’t have a childhood, here’s how it went: you read a story about a guy named Stanley who got flattened by a board, then you got to color in a picture of the guy and send him to a relative, who then took pictures with Flat Stanley and sent those pictures back to you. Then you showed your classmates all the wonderful places that your Flat Stanley had been! Here he is in Italy, and here he is with Clint Eastwood.
This year, UTB is introducing Fling Stanley. (S)he is a familiar figure on campus, all decked out for Fling in her favorite purple fanny pack and blue Solo cup (lest she be be too matchy-matchy with her red suit.)
Here’s what you do:
- Click [flingstanley] to download the PDF of Fling Stanley.
- Print it out, and include her in your Fling photos!
- Send those photos to us, and we’ll feature them on UTB.
- Obviously we’re not gonna publish a picture of your junk.
HAPPY FLING, Y’ALL!
Fling 2013: You’re thinking about it, your friends talk nonstop about it, and your liver is performing its last rites. We know you’re all asking yourselves the profound questions “What was Fling 40 years ago?”, “Where will Fling be in 40 years?” and “Back in the day did they ride real bulls?” This week’s feature explores Fling’s past, present and future. Unenthused by the fling shirt you ordered? Check out Arts’ DIY Fling Tank guide for ways to take your tank from boring to bitchin’.
Are the weather forecast, post-fling school assignments and artist selection getting you down? Enter the world of fling fantasy with Ego’s Top 10 fling dreams. You won’t complain about hunger, though, because Food and Drink’s got you covered with the most convenient places to satisfy your drunchies anywhere on campus. Still feel like whining about Girl Talk? Lowbrow’s with you, so they’ve devised a list of things better than this year’s concert.
Spring is finally here, but hopefully that’s not the only thing that the only thing that’ll cum this Fling. If you’re nervous that what’s coming has slightly more experience than you, Miss Cassandra is here to soothe your anxiety. Disappointed with your pelvic affiliate? Check out Autre Ne Vut, Gigamesh, and Mask and Wig–their vibes range from sultry to crazy to funny, attracting diverse audiences and maybe a new love interest?
Tired of hearing about nothing but Fling? Enjoy some comic relief reading the drunk, high, sober commentaries on “The Croods.” Bonus points if you see the movie yourself (hopefully you’re still rolling).
According to current forecasts, Tyga may have his way. Things aren’t looking pretty for Fling weekend, with a 70% chance of rain for Friday (and that nasty 14MPH wind to the northeast). Don’t fret! You can camp all day inside a Freshman’s room in the Quad…unless, of course, you happen to be a Freshman.
But also, this stuff.
When & Where? Wynn Commons, Monday 6-7:30PM
Why? Um, hello! The theme is Throwback to the 90s! Don’t miss Dance Dance Revolution, inflatable Twister, 90s trivia, a photo booth, and the chance to win 2 floor passes for the Fling concert.
Read the rest of this entry »
Fling wasn’t always an excuse for privileged Penn students to get away with public intoxication, public urination, and many other kinds of behavior that y’all should know better than to display in public. It actually used to have meaning, as evidenced in the above picture from 1954. Students gather at the Schuykill to support the Penn crew team, for which Callow Day — which became known as “Skimmer Day” in 1951 and finally “Spring Fling” in 1973 — was first started as a way to show the rowers support. So, you really think Girl Talk as the headliner is that bad? There’s no way that it could be worse than sitting by a river. Sober.
Some Penn students are super stoked that Tyga found time out of his busy schedule of slappin’ hoes and gettin’ faded to make our sweaty frat basement dreams a reality. From the ensuing Facebook group, flyer campaign, and multiple editorials, it’s no secret that others aren’t so stoked.
If you were planning on hitting up the Quad moonbounce and then actually bouncing for another school’s spring concert, don’t hit up your friends at Harvard. Tyga is set to headline their annual Yardfest AKA fake fling AKA nice try but still lame. In light of his violent and objectifying lyrics, the Crimsons are crimson (too easy) with rage and have started their own protests.
The reactions at Harvard are just as mixed. “As if these kids aren’t the same ones drinking to ‘Faded’ every weekend,” one comment notes. No comment?
If you wanna lock eyes with the first female Fling performer in forever, personally wash Tyga’s mouth out with soap, or relive Prom ’09 like it should’ve gone down (no offense, David Hoffberg), then you better listen up.
Whereas general admission tickets ($35) will be sold, starting tomorrow, both online and on Locust Walk just as they’ve always been in the past, locking down floor passes ($45) for Fling is gonna work a little differently this year, as previously reported.
Floor passes will be sold in the form of online flash sales tomorrow. At four random times throughout the day, SPEC will post a link to an online form on their Twitter and Facebook pages. If you’re tryna get up close and personal with the onstage action, you’ll be required to enter your PennCard digits and Penn email address (to ensure that only students are purchasing tickets and to prevent duplicate entries). Limit 2 passes per student. More important information after the jump. >>>
We don’t know if that traditional sporty March Madness is still going on, but we do know this: after a cutthroat week-long battle of the bracket, the winner of the third edition of PENN MADNESS has emerged. And just in time for that other miracle, Easter! A hearty congratulations to… H U R R I C A N E S A N D Y !
Tonight may bring the belated announcement of our Spring Fling headliner, but if (when) the result is disappointing: we still have our April 19th concert featuring John Legend and Train! Our Penn Madness runners-up (47% of the popular vote!) will be sure to make history, and hopefully won’t hold a grudge that Sandy edged them out for the grand prize. You’re still our favorite Grammy-winning Alum/astronomy-loving band dream team! If Olivia Newton-John wants to make a guest appearance, we won’t complain. For now, the reigning queen can just complement Madame President’s blonde glory (above).
Happy Easter, merry Passover, and a holy Game of Thrones return to you! The egg hunt is (almost) over, kids. Stick around for the big announcement tonight at 7PM, as tweeted by the sacred SPEC secret-keepers themselves.