Readers, you really need to stop misbehaving. First you pretended to be Amy Gutmann and now one of you stole some squirrel sculptures because we said they were ugly. That’s two strikes, guys! Things were better when you were just electing the officials we told you to vote for. There is nothing funny about fraud or theft. Well, except for this one thing: one of you has a room full of those squirrel sculptures.
You’re going to bring home a girl/gentleman and she/he’s going to say, “Why do you have all those ugly squirrels?” Or your roommate is going to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and trip over one and say, “Ow, why do you have all those ugly squirrels?” Or somebody is going to come into your room without knocking and say, “Why are you having a tea party with those ugly squirrels?”
Anyway, stop stealing, guys, and if you’re reading this, thief: put them back!

We wish the squirrels looked like this! But they don't. They really don't.
Remember last year when the Penn Art Club sold plaster squirrels to be decorated by organizations and displayed around campus? Well, the second installation of these critters hit Locust Walk today.
All in all, we think they’re pretty ugly! Especially in the eye region. Check out more photos after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

We're watching you.
Today must have been a really weird day on campus, because we got a steady stream of very bizarre photos (thanks guys!) and it’s not even pledging season! Unfortunately, just this one time, we don’t have all the answers to the “Please tell us what is going on here UTB!” cries that accompanied the tips. If you know what’s up, help us out by commenting.
Check out squirrel whispering, indecent exposure, the return of mop tops and more, after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »

After hibernating deep beneath College Green all winter, Amy the giant squirrel/rat emerges to lay siege upon the Radian.
About two weeks ago (while most of you were cramming for midterms and stocking up on sunscreen) sandwich-board-toting construction workers began picketing outside the Radian, occasionally accompanied by a large, inflatable rodent. Much befuddlement ensued among the half-a-dozen residents who were able to detach themselves from their BlackBerrys long enough to look up on their way to class.
Fear not though, confused souls! UTB is here with the scoop. According to a commenter on PhiladelphiaSpeaks.com, workers from the IBEW (International Brotherhood Of Electrical Workers) Local Union 98 are protesting Capogiro because:
“They fail to hire workers who are paid what is standard for the community, receive medical benefits for their wives and children and receive a fair retirement plan so they can retire with dignity.”
What say you, Penn students? If the workers are still picketing once Capogiro opens, will you cross the lines to quench your desire for gelato? Let us know in the comments!
The Art Club’s squirrel installation kicked off today, as evidenced by the big plaster squirrel chillin’ on College Green. The critter is surrounded by paint and paintbrushes, so anyone can leave their mark.

The squirrel that’s out today is a “test squirrel,” a preview of the sponsored squirrels that will display in coming weeks. Squirrels were available for campus groups to buy and decorate, and 34th Street tried to purchase one, but complications ensued and we never got our squirrel. So we branded this one. STREET WAZ HERE.

We have a theory that Penn’s obsession with squirrels stems from our urban situation and its accompanying dearth of critters. Chief varmint correspondent Abby Schwartz writes in with this special report.
Squirrels for sale! (Not live ones, sadly.) The Penn Art Club is offering squirrel statues to university offices and organizations through February 15, at $100 a squirrel. Each group that buys a squirrel will be given paint and brushes to decorate it, and in the end the whole fleet of ‘em will be displayed as a public art project. What better way to engage the Penn community than with an installation of our favorite housemates/lunch buddies? Get your very own squirrel here.
A tipster just sent us this snapshot of a typical Penn squirrel. What, are acorns considered a carb?
