Ready for history lesson? Maybe not, after spending the last week decaying in Van Pelt and swearing you’d never commit another fact to memory ever again. But this lesson is, cool. Promise. Because it’s about FRATS. A lot of chapter houses didn’t used to be where they are now, and you might be surprised to find out what houses and buildings former generations of Penn bros called their official man caves. Without further ado, let’s begin a photographic tour of some awesome old Penn frat houses! Read the rest of this entry »

Pictures this: you’re a young, idealistic freshman just trying to find your place at Penn. You hear of all these frats doing “dirty rush,” so when you receive a penis-shaped event invitation, you don’t think twice about showing up to St. A’s in the middle of the night. On the walk there, you pat yourself on the back; you’ve heard A’s is a “cool fraternity,” so you must be cool! All those assholes who called you “nerd” in high school can really suck it now.

You take a deep breath, adjust your bowtie and knock on the door.

“What the fuck are you guys doing?” asks a bewildered resident to the group of boys you’ve come with. You hand them the invite. ”What the fuck is this? We didn’t do this.”

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We hear that conservative pundit/failed Dancing with the Stars contestant/general cutie pie Tucker Carlson will be on campus next Thursday (the unofficial first day of Fling).  St. Anthony Hall, Penn’s wasp enclave, will be hosting. Gentlemen, we suggest you drop off your Nantucket reds at the cleaners pronto.