FeaturesDecember 15, 2013 at 2:39 pm

Anatomy Of An All Nighter

finana acoffeefinana abookHi. Hello. Welcome.
Thank you for choosing UTB as your procrastination destination today.
We dissected an all nighter for you.

Read the rest of this entry »

ShutterButtonDecember 4, 2013 at 4:03 pm

ShutterButton: Getting Wild, Studying For Finals

Study Party

’Tis the season to be stress-full, as many of us get ready to procrasturbate in our library of choice for the next few weeks. It’s not always easy to stay focused on the textbook you’ve definitely been keeping up with, but let this 1907 photo of Penn students doin’ work remind you that it can be done.

NewsNovember 20, 2013 at 1:14 pm

Huntsman GSRs Opening Their GSarms To Non-Wharton Folk

wild gsr orgyWell, well, well, well, well, well, in what was once craaazy enough to be a DP Joke Article, Wharton might actually, fully open Huntsman GSR doors to CollEngiNursing students.

According to this real DP article, a group of Whartonites are working to allow any student—that’s taking Wharton classes—to book Huntsman GSRs outright. Join the forum, share your Wharton oppression stories thoughts. But on the real, VP rooms are better for getting work done anyway.

NewsMay 4, 2013 at 11:51 am

The Five Best Ways To Procrastinate During Finals Week

tumblr_lcmlhrjyR51qf76m1o1_500Alas, we’ve hit that crucial point during finals: some people are done and others still have exams on Monday and Tuesday. Good thing there’s light at the end of the tunnel. Here’s a list of the five best ways to procrastinate in these last few days of darkness:

1. Actually use the library resources…to dirty-chat the librarians ;)

2. And if that doesn’t quite do it for ya, there’s always 50 Shades fan-fiction. Because we know that finals week is a time when most students get a little horny restless. 

3. If you’re looking for something a little more PG, bounce the cats on cat-bounce!

4. But if you want to feel semi-productive, you can kick it high school-style with this. What’s that? There no quiz to prepare you for your OPIM final? No worries, because there is a way to test your knowledge of these.

5.Watch the Godfather trilogy…on a computer in the Forum. We’re sure no one will mind!

Happy studying!

FeaturesMay 1, 2013 at 2:53 pm

Annoying Things That Happen In Study Spaces

studying-bohLet’s face it, studying sucks, and what sucks even more is sitting in a cramped library for eight hours at a time surrounded by the same obnoxious people.

There’s the guy who falls asleep the moment he turns his computer on, the girl who “politely” asks you to plug in every Apple product known to man, and that one person that decided it was a great idea to get a five-course meal delivered to his study cubicle.

As Penn kids in the midst of finals, we can all relate. Here are the ten annoying things that happen to us in study spaces. Happy studying, everyone! Read the rest of this entry »

ShutterButtonMay 1, 2013 at 10:34 am

ShutterButton: Fish(er)ing For Finals


We’re dreaming of a white Christmas weeknight bootycall library that hasn’t reached maximum occupancy this week. Despite Fisher’s current lack of seats (bitter), we’re glad the setup has changed significantly since 1900, when this photo was taken. Looks like a perfect place to cram for Intro to Claustrophobia or cry about that last BYO/mixer/shitshow you’re missing. Don’t fret honey child, you’re evidently amongst friends, and there’s always next year.

NewsApril 23, 2013 at 10:57 am

Finals Are Really Hard

imageEveryone needs a little pick-me-up to take the edge off of finals week. We encourage it! Late night insomnia delivery, venti NON-skinny latte, go crazy. Looks like someone took it a little too far today in a Van Pelt bathroom and got down in between review sessions, leaving their (large) container of lube behind. At least they had the courtesy not to relieve their stress in the stacks? Just know that this is NOT what we meant when we said Rosenparty. And if you’re into that, some suggested material

FeaturesDecember 12, 2012 at 1:43 pm

New Guide to Study Spaces

It’s finals time. You’re looking for the optimal place to study, but you can’t find any more beds carrels in Van Pelt – we’re here to help you find some of the niche study spaces on campus, as always. Freshbabies, be attentive!

Fisher Fine Arts – Silence. You take one poop too loud in the restroom and you’re blacklisted.

Education Commons – Any NARP (non-athletic regular person) is welcome, but the place reeks of balls: foot, soft, base, basket, you name it!

Rooftop Lounges – Avoid Harrison. You’ll get stuck in an elevator, most likely with a stressed out freshman who hasn’t showered for days named Sitswithpig.  Read the rest of this entry »

Know Any Good Study Spaces?– We do. Happy finals to all!
FeaturesApril 28, 2012 at 4:37 pm

What Your Late Night Study Snack Says About You

The clock strikes 11:00 p.m. You’re in Rosenparty, the adderall is wearing off and you’ve resorted to looking at pictures of calzones. You wander into Mark’s–the sight of soggy, plastic-wrapped sandwiches almost kills your appetite–but not quite. Desperation is imminent. So what’s it gonna be, bb? We consulted our fanciest food astrologists, and now we have all the answers. Read on to find out what your late night study snack really says about you.

Anything from La Petite Creperie–You are that guy: the overeager kid at the 7th grade spring dance in the baby blue tux and bow tie, except that bow tie is covered in mozzarella and creamy feta, calling out “eat me!” in Salma Hayek’s voice–sorry, what were we saying? We can’t concentrate because we’re staring at your food. Read the rest of this entry »