Looks like Will & Kate aren’t the only ones deserving of a “Congratulations!”

Ashley Hebert, Penn Dental grad (we think?) and 2010 Bachelorette, finally wed J.P. Rosenbaum this past Sunday in Pasadena, California. Penn students will remember Ash from her talks last year in Commons and Houston Hall, as well as her hip-hop dance class at Pottruck. Girl’s got MOVES.

UTB’s favorite Ashlorette is only the second Bachelorette to marry the man who received her final rose. ABC will air the wedding ceremony on Dec. 16. While we’re happy for our fellow Quaker, Penn girls everywhere roll their eyes over the poor misfortune of this nice Jewish boy marrying a shiksa. As our grandmothers would say, “THIS IS CHUTZPAH.”

More Penn-related news from The Bachelorette, the show where winning is losing and losing is double losing. A hearty ‘good luck’ to rumored The Bachelorette contestant, Wharton grad Doug Clerget, 33. The single dad (also leaked: he is wealthy and buff. What else could one possibly ask for in this world of ours?) will be television-vying for the heart of Bachelorette Emily Maynard.

We wish him many roses.

Move over James Franco, Ashley Hebert is coming to town! Yes, the sisters of Tridelt are bringing the Bachlorette to Penn! Wait, bringing her here? Doesn’t she already go here? Or did she graduate? Is she still taking that leave of absence? (Seriously, has anybody figured this out yet?)

Join Ashley when she visits the Hall of Flags on Tuesday, November 8 for a riveting discussion of “how she balances her life as a dental student with being in the public eye and dealing with constant media attention.” Tickets are $5 on the Walk. To all those celebrity grad students out there, this one’s for you!

Things that are unnecessarily dragged out and awkward: high school and any episode of The Bachelorette. That said, let’s head into the final recap of Ashley’s search for love or something like it.

This week, Ashley’s family comes to Fiji. “We want to hear all about your adventure!” they squeal. Right. Because she hasn’t been home in between at all… Ashley’s sister is baffled, “You’re in love?! I’m a little more concerned this time than I was last time,” she says. Oh right. Because Ashley’s done this before on the last season of The Bachelor. That’s awks. So is her silent brother.

JP walks into the lion’s den. He pulls out a few one-liners to ease the mood, but later no one gets the funny vibe from him, prompting Ashley’s sister to ask, “Does he make you laugh?” There’s an uncomfortable pause and then Ashley’s all, “I make myself laugh!” Then why did you make one of the group dates a comedy roast? Read the rest of this entry »

On week nine of The Bachelorette, we leave all of last week’s families back in the States and head off to Fiji with Ashley and her three boytoys. The episode begins with replays of past dates with the guys, accompanied by Ashley’s voiceover—which, because the show opened with the same thing last week, has become so predictable at this point that it could be formatted as a sing-along with a giant red rose bouncing over the words.

We snap back to reality where Ashley opens the door to a big surprise. Oh my! Who could possibly be at the door? Commercial break. The suspense is killing no one.

Okay, wait. We spoke too soon. The show returns from its break and while most of us thought it’d be Ivy Man Ames, since he’s got the means to show up unannounced and was the most recent dumpee, we’re actually really surprised to see Ryan’s permanently happy face!

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Week 8 of The Bachelorette kicked off with Ashley’s anticipation about the episode’s hometown dates. She tells us that she looks forward to seeing the guys’ real personalities come out around their families. Yeah, because that’s exactly how it works on family weekend.

Unfortunately for Ashley, hometowns weren’t as interesting as producers had hoped, so the first ten minutes of the episode feature her previous moments with the four remaining beaus, and her voiceover confessing how physically attractive she finds each one, followed by vague descriptions of their inner beauty like, “There’s just something about him.”

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Like every other week, ABC eased us into The Bachelorette by preceding it with Wheel of Fortune. After yet another stay-at-home dad from Hawaii failed to complete the final prize puzzle, our expectations were set at the perfect low.

Week Seven began with a commute from Hong Kong to Taipei, Taiwan, and the realization (read: relief) that the original cast of 24 lads has been trimmed down to just six: Lucas, the Southern belle; Ames, the sensitive Ivy Man; Ben, the Constantine-lookalike; Constantine, the Ben-lookalike; Ryan, the ketchup smiley face your mom puts on your scrambled eggs; and JP, the nice Jewish boy from Long Island she nags you to marry. Read the rest of this entry »

Did you panic at the thought of missing The Bachelorette because you were out getting your red white and blue on? Fear not! Though there was no new episode this week because of the holiday, we couldn’t resist this opportunity to cast our own predictions. If episode seven had aired last night, here’s what we think might have gone down:

• Sniffle, sniffle, tear(s). While previews may exaggerate some drama, they certainly never lie. The per episode ratio of Crying Ashley to non-Crying Ashley has been climbing faster than the unwavering affection each suitor has admitted to feeling for the perpetually pouting princess. “It’s My TV Show And I Can Cry If I Waaah-nt To” may be a good theme song to adopt. Read the rest of this entry »

We’ve all been watching closely as Penn dental student and Bachelorette Ashley Hebert narrows down the search to find her one true love (SPOILER ALERT). Exciting though it is to live vicariously through our weekly dose of mock polygamy, we’re still left wondering: is there life after reality television? According to hollywoodlife.com, the answer is yes.

The article follows Ashley through a normal day of dental clinics at Penn, reporting that she actually eats sandwiches and even wears scrubs! Wow! However, one element of mystery remains: while she was in fact seen at Philly’s airport the next day (6/29), whether her tix were First Class or Economy Plus remains up in the air (horrible pun intended).

Alright guys, by this point you know the drill. Get your drinks ready, because Week Six of The Bachelorette is serious business.

This week’s episode opens with generic Asian music and some zen shots of Hong Kong. Ashley poses in a street as everyone zooms around her. Is it just me or does she look two shades tanner? (and, slightly less important: where is Bill Murray?)

Chris and Ashley reflect on last week’s rose ceremony. Eight guys remain. Chris is afraid Ashley will become the runaway bride. Bentley is here!!! “Shut up,” says Ashley… (dot dot dot). Read the rest of this entry »