This is just here because we like puppies. Plus they're eating, which is pretty relevant.
We didn’t want to have to write about the recession again. We’re tired of hearing about graduates from our fine school entering the jobless world, looking at a forecast of unemployment with a chance of hiring freeze. All this exclamation-point-punctuated madness — Economic crash! Hundreds Laid Off! Aaahh Real Monsters! — reminds us to be very, very happy that we live in a collegiate bubble, insulated from the outside world by our vehement denial of its existence and protective beer goggles. This willful ignorance of the universe beyond University City, however, can no longer go on. The Inquirer reports that a sacred Penn institution is suffering from the big bad economic crisis: The Food Cart. Featured in the article is Rami’s, a Middle Eastern food cart at 40th and Locust where for less than $4 a person can enjoy delicious falafel goodness and Sami Dakko’s charming, thick accent. Read the full story here, but only if you are prepared to find out just how tough times are for Rami’s and that Sami actually says “Hello beautiful” to everyone, not just you.
One grad’s funny mortarboard message — the graduation version of fling bling — made the front page of today’s New York Times and page two of the Wall Street Journal. According to our sources (read: according to our merciless stalkage of a friend’s gchat status), the identity of said mystery jokester is (former) senior Nate Weiner.
Here’s hoping that a human resources exec somewhere out there responds to this bold gesture.
Finals have been kicking our collective ass, but the news never sleeps. Here’s all the dish you need, in convenient digest form:
Image credit: The Clog
- Oh look, Penn is once again the setting for a perfunctory “college graduates can’t find jobs” article, this time on NPR. Especially ridiculous considering the abundant opportunities available on PennLink — didja know that the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation is hiring Correctional Officers, and you can earn up to $73,000 a Year? Get those resumes in, people!
- Notice any angry dudes outside Gia today? The United Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners of America is boycotting Gia Pronto because the company is opening another store in Philly and is using a contracter that supposedly pays substandard wages. Somehow we don’t think a whole lot of sorority girls moonlight as construction workers. Unless it’s Halloween, in which case: plaid + toolbelt + cutoffs = slutty construction workers.
- This year’s College graduation speaker and Penn alum John Legend made the 2009 Time 100, and he’s also featured in a video recap of the Time 100 gala. We wish he would come out with another song, ’cause we’re running out of ways to make “Ordinary People” puns.
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While we were getting punch-drunk and sunburnt in the Quad, Penn made weekend appearances in not one but two newspapers. We already told you about the Inky’s beef with shoutouts, and now we bring you the New York Times’s story on how Wharton seniors are coping with the post-apocalyptic economy. The article comes complete with the individual-example-of-economic-hardship-as-allegory lede (“Riana Paige, an undergraduate senior at the Wharton School of Business, had a high-paying internship at JPMorgan Chase last summer…”) and the obligatory “We’re standing around on Locust Walk because we’re Penn students” photo illustrations. But what else do we learn?
“A lot of my peers, we’re exploring things that we used to not even think of as an option,” Ms. Levy said. “A finance major who was minoring in music was suddenly looking into opening a jazz club. All of a sudden, I saw that a lot of Wharton people were interesting.”
Gosh, aside from a split infinitive in the beginning, that’s a pretty astute observation. Wharton students interesting — who would’ve ever thunk it? Oh wait, nevermind, the article ends with the dude getting a job and instantly transforming back into a soulless zombie. Oh well, fun while it lasted.
P.S. There’s a video too.
Hooray, we have some additions to our growing dossier of noninspirational career advice! Via the New York Times this weekend: “All Is Not Lost for the Class of 2009.” And via our very own Claire Kleiger of Career Services last week: “It’s tough but hang in there.” One of the great listserv e-mail headlines of its time, no? But read on, because it gets worse. Like telling us to take comfort in a broadway musical about puppets worse: “I leave you with another potential personal theme song from Avenue Q (can you tell it’s one of my favorite musicals?), ‘For Now,’ about a recent college grad from an ivy league institution struggling to figure out what to do with his life (sound familiar?). And, as the song says, remember that this poor economy is also ‘only for now.’” Oh, Career Services…thanks for that.
Eagle-eyed contributor Ashley Dreyfus spotted an interesting flyer in Mark’s Cafe. She reports:
Thursday will bring vodka parties, but why not ease into Fling with a Wednesday tea party? This Wednesday a.k.a. April 15th a.k.a. Tax Day, Love Park will host tea festivities in an attempt to…send some message to Congress about taxes or something? Ok, we don’t exactly know what the purpose is, something to do with exposing “the bankrupt liberal agenda of the White House Administration and Congress,” but it sounds like a good excuse to grab a bag of Earl Grey (or Green Tea for the Buddhists out there) and head down there to see what all the fuss is about. (Too bad Tucker Carlson won’t be in town until the next day!)
If you can’t make it or don’t feel your $0.65 tea bag is worth the effort, but your state’s representatives are really pissing you off, you can always join in by sending him or her some virtual tea bags to show your disapproval.
"Damn, I look good."
Everyone seems a little panicked that there aren’t any jobs and this may be the end of the economic world as we know it. You all obviously just need to chill out (we have some tips on how to do that if you need advice) and look at what America has to offer. Case in point: the latest post-grad job Claire Kleiger suggests in her most recent “Liberal Arts Jobs” email sent to the College Listserv:
ELEPHANT KEEPER: Observe elephants for signs of injury or disease; report behavioral changes; prepare food and feed the animals; keep careful records; recommend living condition or diet changes; assists vets with treatment. Req. HS diploma and at least 2 yrs exp. working w/ elephants in a zoo setting or equiv combination; valid AR driver’s license. This position provides learning and teaching opportunities to develop potential leaders in the practice of elephant management. $24,432 – $29,211 + bens.
Well, we know you graduated from high school, and more likely than not have at least two years of experience working with elephants in a zoo setting (or equivalent combination?) If you’re interested — we’re assuming you are — e-mail HR-Employment@littlerock.org.
(Pita) breadlines outside Greek Lady
Gee, Time magazine, thanks for pointing out that there won’t be any jobs for graduating seniors this year. We kind of had an inkling that something was up re: our future unemployment this morning when Career Services sent out a lovely pep talk in the form of an e-mail blast to the senior class. The subject line was: “Seniors — Freaking out about your post-grad job search?” Um, 1) Why shouldn’t we be freaking out? We are coddled college students who expect everything in life to be easy for us. Life is hard!!! 2) Wait, so if you’re saying we shouldn’t be freaking out, that means some people must be freaking out, and that freaks us out even more. So now that you mention it…hey seniors, let’s all freak out about this!
Eat fresh. And now cheap... ish.
Penn Dining recently sent out an email ever-so-kindly pointing out meals to be had on-campus for under $6. (Which only makes the yearly meal plan push even harder to bite into.) I’m all for cheaper eats, but I do wonder what motivated the email. Is Subway concerned about our thinning wallets? Or has there been a drop-off in customers? But wouldn’t a college campus provide a steady customer base, even amidst economic woes? Or — gasp! — have we begun cooking?
All I know is that if Subway’s $5-foot long subs are here to stay, its awful jingle should have to go.
See Penn Dining’s deals after the jump.
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If you’re eager to be part of Philly’s beloved Inky before it goes down in flames, applying for the Inquirer’s “Off Campus” editorial board may be your way in. Once again, this seems like awkward timing. We’re guessing that due to the recent filing for bankruptcy, you’ll probably be paid negative pennies (if that) — even Brian Tierney, the CEO, is giving back his $232,000 dollar raise from last December. Despite the lack of pay, this could be your shot at fame. And who knows? The Inquirer always has a shot at being included in a newspaper bailout.
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In Obama’s “not-the-State-of-the-Union” State of the Union, he name-dropped Wharton alum Leonard Abess (father of Matt Abess, C ‘08) as an example of a selfless and responsible member of the finance industry. Abess distributed bonuses to past and current employees of Miami’s City National Bank based on years of service to the company. Some received up to $100,000. You may have caught a glimpse of Abess last night, seated with First Lady Michelle Obama in her private box. Quothbama:
“I think about Leonard Abess, the bank president from Miami who reportedly cashed out of his company, took a $60 million bonus, and gave it out to all 399 people who worked for him, plus another 72 who used to work for him. He didn’t tell anyone, but when the local newspaper found out, he simply said, ”I knew some of these people since I was 7 years old. I didn’t feel right getting the money myself.’”
Right on! Whartonites, there still is hope for your souls.
Our visit to yesterday’s Career Fair yielded no job prospects, but we did walk away with a handful of swag. After testing out all the pens, mini-footballs and chapsticks, we narrowed down our favorites, which we will now pit against each other in our patented SWAG-O-METER!
The finalists were insurance company Alfac and The Choice Program, a Maryland-based community service organization. The Choice Program definitely scores points for usefulness and green-friendliness with their water bottles. Aflac, meanwhile, brought swag up to the level of carnival prize with their giant stuffed geese. So who wins?
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Several tipsters have written in to lament the disappearance of Ruckus, the Penn-provided iTunes alternative that we didn’t actually know still existed. But lo, Ruckus is indeed AWOL. Has it joined Juicy Campus in that big playground for collegial websites in the sky?
Tonight UTB pours some for our homie Ruckus. But tomorrow, we expect all you Ruckus loyalists to give in and get iTunes, a superior program that you won’t have to feel ashamed about using.
Forced to buy her own sushi...at Frogro.
Today the crack investigative team at the New York Times reports on one of the financial crisis’s most tragic consequences: Wall Street girlfriends and wives no longer have carte blanche! Quelle horror! But we think the NYT has failed to explore the collegiate angle of this dilemma: Wharton girlfriends. (See also: gold diggers, TheHos.)
Has your boyfriend gone from Theos baller to one of those sad people that spends all their time playing Food Friendzy on Facebook in the hopes of scoring Campusfood.com discounts? Has he stopped making it rain and started hunting for a work-study job? Oh, honey, let it out! Thursday night’s M.B.A. happy hour used to be a sure bet for meeting well-to-do young men. But now? You might as well stay home and watch Ugly Betty.
Update: Tipster Grace writes in to call our attention to the blog that inspired the article: dabagirls.com. LOL-worthy excerpt: “Dating A Banker Anonymous (DABA) is a safe place where women can come together–free from the scrutiny of feminists–-and share their tearful tales of how the mortgage meltdown has affected their relationships.”
BlackRock, Rothschild and UBS, oh my! On Campus Recruiting ‘09 may be a far cry from the boom years of yore, but there’s still a fair amount of recruiting going on inside Huntsman (and, from time to time, the Inn at Penn). And you know what that means: swag!
Swag comes in all shapes and sizes, from the mundane (pens, keychains) to the pretty cool (t-shirts, backpacks). But how do you know which presentations are worth sitting through (for the koozie at the end) and which ones will culminate in some rather elementary PowerPoint effects? Well, you don’t. But now, you can publicly shame the companies that leave you with bupkis!
Here’s how: e-mail us with swag reports: who gave out what and who left students empty-handed. We’ll post the swag roundups here, along with their ratings on our patented Swag-O-Meter. Happy recruiting!
