Keep your chins up, young Penn folk! You will get through the soggy weather and prosper, just as you have in the past. Alas, we have compiled our daily forecasts.
Aries: The evening will bring good luck. You will enjoy a free meal at Distrito after acing your MATH-202 midterm which happens only after you learn that it is an open book test when you walk into class. Cha-ching.
Taurus: Your best path to notoriety, if that is what you seek, is through your social contacts. Or, a fake Twitter account.
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Did you panic at the thought of missing The Bachelorette because you were out getting your red white and blue on? Fear not! Though there was no new episode this week because of the holiday, we couldn’t resist this opportunity to cast our own predictions. If episode seven had aired last night, here’s what we think might have gone down:
- Sniffle, sniffle, tear(s). While previews may exaggerate some drama, they certainly never lie. The per episode ratio of Crying Ashley to non-Crying Ashley has been climbing faster than the unwavering affection each suitor has admitted to feeling for the perpetually pouting princess. “It’s My TV Show And I Can Cry If I Waaah-nt To” may be a good theme song to adopt. Read the rest of this entry »
As per a DP online update, Jon M. Huntsman Jr. is booked as the 2010 Commencement speaker. Aside from being the namesake for Wharton HQ, Huntsman used to be the Governor of Utah and now serves as the U.S. Ambassador to China.
It’s no big deal, but we actually predicted this in July. True story. And no, you cannot borrow our crystal ball.