
The ’90′s were a time of several transitionally awkward trends (see this, this and this), but THIS? This 1999 depiction of our Quaker surrounded by toast is a sight for sore (and creepily blue) eyes. Though modern day QBF‘s smile is, 13 years later, still a bit on the hello-may-I-offer-you-some-candy-in-my-van side, we’re more than happy to shove this Polaroid back in the drawer with our scrunchies and Spice World VHS.
Got that one friend who always makes her profile picture the one where she looks fab and you look drab? The College Dean’s Advisory Board would like to remind you that now’s your chance to exact revenge on the most massive scale: the graduation slideshow.
SAS Seniors, if you’ve got any fond memories from your years at Penn that you’ve managed to catch on film (and wouldn’t mind showing to your parents), send ‘em over to graduation2011@penndab.org. And if submitting an awful picture of your BFF isn’t enticement enough in itself, you’ll also be entered to win a $25 gift card.
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Freshmen, we know you’re worried about this football game tomorrow. Not worried that our boys won’t be able to pull off the upset against Villanova, but that you will have nothing to say to your hallmates who go to the game with you. You’ve never spent time with them in this kind of setting, you’re not sure if your “I don’t remember a THING from NSO” stories are stale yet, and you don’t know anything about our team. Completely understandable – as freshmen, we ended up just stuffing our mouths with our toast to fill the silences.
We put together this conversational guide to the first football game (Franklin Field, 7 p.m.), removing all awkwardness from the coin toss to when you leave, disappointed at the first of our many losses. We recommend printing this out onto index cards you can sneak out of your pocket at the right time.
FIRST QUARTER
“Did you know that Penn has never once beaten Villanova, even though we’ve played them eight times in 98 years?”
“What? Are those index cards in your hands?” says one of your friends.
“Yeah, wait, did you print out fun facts about this game, cut them out and then neatly paste them onto index cards?” says another. “And did you use some type of glitter glue?”
“Uhhhhhh…oh look, it’s the second quarter already!”
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