Don’t even think about taking advantage of VP’s extended study hours and doing work this Fling weekend. However, you have three homework assignments to complete amidst the debauchery:
1. Submit to SHOUTOUTS. Oh-we-oh-we-oh-we-oh.
2. Take pics with FLING STANLEY. Bonus if A-Gut photo-bombs.
3. Tip us your greatest TEXTS FROM FLING.
That’s right, for the third straight Fling, we’ll be compiling your greatest texts from the weekend for an upcoming UTB feature! Send ‘em in to email@example.com all weekend! Include yo area code so it looks like this:
(215): Hii hiow far does pennride go out???!! i’m stranded in Viullanova HELP ME IM POOR
There are always a few of you each year–the select bunch who haven’t mastered the art of drunk blogging for Writing Seminar. While the rest of campus is praying to the gods of Pong and Porcelain, you’re holed up in a Huntsman GSR…which is why we present you with:
The Anti-Flinger’s Guide to Fling
1. Start your Fling Friday in the VP Stacks, where we’re sure an Independent Study (if you know what we mean) won’t do it for ya. Booty call a friend, describing your location with the Dewey Decimal System.
2. How desperate is too desperate, you ask? Rising freshmen are fair game. 11th-graders are a no-go–unless they’ve broken a 2100.
3. On the off-chance you start to envy red cups and the people who hold them, remind yourself that you are classy. Take swigs from the bottle of Poland Spring (without the label, of course) that you snuck into the library, cringing with each swallow. Remind yourself that it’s only water.
Read the rest of this entry »
Two a.m. and she calls me ’cause I’m still awake… Preach, Anna Nalick, because it’s Twitter-official: VP’s main building is open until 2 a.m. all the way through finals, effective immediately. As happy as we are that the exodus to Rosenparty is no longer at the absurdly early hour of midnight, the fact that @upennlib had to tweet something with the words “today” and “finals” is disconcerting.
Where did the time go?! Oh yes, last day of classes in about two weeks, so buckling down to start those final research papers now is not unwise. Who are we kidding? Do your mental health a favor and don’t take advantage of these extended hours until after this weekend. And if we see you in there during Fling, you’re getting MERTed.
Oh No!--Someone pulled the fire alarm in VP. We're not sure who or why, but we hope you stay warm! Here's to doing work in Huntsman!
Spotted outside Van Pelt: A Pokémon battle of epic(ish) proportions. Not gonna lie, we were slightly disappointed at the lack of people in Pokémon costumes doing this to each other (read: we wanted to see a Charmeleon). But we enjoyed it anyway. In case you’ve forgotten the good ol’ days, or you don’t want everyone to know you had a sad, sad childhood, there’s still hope.
We want spring and we want it now. Penn’s Facebook page offered a mysterious sneak peek yesterday into Van Peezy’s new rooftop lounge located on the sixth floor. The DP reports that the lounge will have a grand opening April 18, with a select few being allowed entrance as early as March 4. We have high expectations for this new space: a place to absorb both some vitamin D and all of the reading material we know we will forget to do over spring break. Plus, we’re hoping that third VP elevator will finally shed its fear-inducing construction look and resume normal elevator appearance.
Watch out, Van-Peltians. These girls are over by our button again, yelling at you to save Philadelphia’s puppies. Tabard’s 2013 pledge class, everyone. Do they want us to save the puppies, or do they want us to save them? Our guess? Neither.
It’s finals time. You’re looking for the optimal place to study, but you can’t find any more
beds carrels in Van Pelt – we’re here to help you find some of the niche study spaces on campus, as always. Freshbabies, be attentive!
Fisher Fine Arts – Silence. You take one poop too loud in the restroom and you’re blacklisted.
Education Commons – Any NARP (non-athletic regular person) is welcome, but the place reeks of balls: foot, soft, base, basket, you name it!
Rooftop Lounges – Avoid Harrison. You’ll get stuck in an elevator, most likely with a stressed out freshman who hasn’t showered for days named Sitswithpig. Read the rest of this entry »
Few of us are praying that finals continue forever. The impending end of the semester cannot come soon enough for most of the student body, which unanimously agreed it is “totes miserable” and is only surviving on junk food and hourly kvetch sessions.
But if you take advantage of the silver linings to still being here, you may want to miss your flight home on the 20th (you must be, like, the only person at this school with an exam on the last day). Okay, you may still want to fast-forward to spending the days couch potato-ing with your dog(s), but you are #blessed! Philly is your oyster! If you were home now, you wouldn’t be able to:
- Turn your sadness into happy hour. Treat yoself to dranks at any of University City’s daily happy hours to turn that frown upside down! Then stumble into Van Pelt and write a paper tipsy, you tortured artist, you.
- Ignore parental nags. When you’re under the same roof as momma, tensions are going to rise if you don’t X, Y and Z right now. At dear old Penn, you just get occasional texts reminding you to go outside and eat greens. Read the rest of this entry »
Ever had an urge to take a selfie while studying in VP? Well NOW IS YOUR CHANCE to win free stuff for taking pics during your study breaks.
Prizes are being awarded courtesy of Penn Libraries in the following categories (winners to be announced on Friday evening, but send ‘em in early for a chance at one of the daily prizes!!):
- Most popular (Most Facebook likes) Less clothing = more likes
- Most studious (Most convincing evidence that a study goal was accomplished) Break out those hipster glasses with fake lenses
- Best self-portrait (individual photo) Snapchat a pic to UTB: +2 points
- Best study buddy photo (group photo) “Study” sessions with your girlfriend don’t count
- Best use of library resources (photo working with a library staff member or physical/virtual library materials) Does paying back $1500 worth of library fines count?
It’s the perfect excuse to use your phone while in the middle of that final essay, and the prizes aren’t too shabby, either!