FeaturesDecember 12, 2012 at 1:43 pm

New Guide to Study Spaces

It’s finals time. You’re looking for the optimal place to study, but you can’t find any more beds carrels in Van Pelt – we’re here to help you find some of the niche study spaces on campus, as always. Freshbabies, be attentive!

Fisher Fine Arts – Silence. You take one poop too loud in the restroom and you’re blacklisted.

Education Commons – Any NARP (non-athletic regular person) is welcome, but the place reeks of balls: foot, soft, base, basket, you name it!

Rooftop Lounges – Avoid Harrison. You’ll get stuck in an elevator, most likely with a stressed out freshman who hasn’t showered for days named Sitswithpig.  Read the rest of this entry »

FeaturesDecember 12, 2012 at 11:47 am

You’re LUCKY To Be Here! A Silver Linings Penn Playbook

Few of us are praying that finals continue forever. The impending end of the semester cannot come soon enough for most of the student body, which unanimously agreed it is “totes miserable” and is only surviving on junk food and hourly kvetch sessions.

But if you take advantage of the silver linings to still being here, you may want to miss your flight home on the 20th (you must be, like, the only person at this school with an exam on the last day). Okay, you may still want to fast-forward to spending the days couch potato-ing with your dog(s), but you are #blessed! Philly is your oyster! If you were home now, you wouldn’t be able to:

  1. Turn your sadness into happy hour. Treat yoself to dranks at any of University City’s daily happy hours to turn that frown upside down! Then stumble into Van Pelt and write a paper tipsy, you tortured artist, you.
  2. Ignore parental nags. When you’re under the same roof as momma, tensions are going to rise if you don’t X, Y and Z right now. At dear old Penn, you just get occasional texts reminding you to go outside and eat greens. Read the rest of this entry »
NewsDecember 11, 2012 at 5:19 pm

Take Creepy Pictures, Win Sweet Prizes!

Ever had an urge to take a selfie while studying in VP? Well NOW IS YOUR CHANCE to win free stuff for taking pics during your study breaks.

Prizes are being awarded courtesy of Penn Libraries in the following categories (winners to be announced on Friday evening, but send ‘em in early for a chance at one of the daily prizes!!):

  • Most popular (Most Facebook likes) Less clothing = more likes
  • Most studious (Most convincing evidence that a study goal was accomplished) Break out those hipster glasses with fake lenses
  • Best self-portrait (individual photo) Snapchat a pic to UTB: +2 points
  • Best study buddy photo (group photo) “Study” sessions with your girlfriend don’t count
  • Best use of library resources (photo working with a library staff member or physical/virtual library materials) Does paying back $1500 worth of library fines count?

It’s the perfect excuse to use your phone while in the middle of that final essay, and the prizes aren’t too shabby, either!

NewsDecember 3, 2012 at 10:38 am

Two Simple Texts to Expect from Mom

Have your parents texted you lately? If not, get ready for an influx of two very specific nagging messages in your inbox. We’ve been alerted to a precious email that has been sent to all our parents and guardians. It suggests language for two crucial texts, which is some pretty hip lingo for the older generation, some of whom have hardly mastered The Interweb. Always looking out for our collective mental and physical well-being, Penn Campus Health “prescribed” these hilarious texts for the stressful finals period:

1. “Did you eat something green today?”
2. “Did you go outside today?”

At the end of the semester, relying on a chips-only diet and spending all daylight hours in Van Pelt is not uncommon, so we’re sure these reminders from our parents (inevitably written “u eat green 2day?? LOL”) would revolutionize everything. Excuse us while we frolic through Penn Park and eat lettuce!

FeaturesSeptember 19, 2012 at 10:26 am

Happy Gerald Ford Trapped In An Elevator Day!

This holiday, coined by one David Kaiser-Jones C’14, was inspired by a picture he dug up “quite some time ago” and “was waiting, of course, until September 19 to share.” Please celebrate responsibly. And never use that third elevator that seems totally fine one day and then is all boarded up with wooden planks the next. (You know the one.)

NewsMay 1, 2012 at 6:54 pm

Spotted: Disco Fever In Van Party

Looks like some students on VP’s 4th floor channeled their cabin fever into something way, way groovier. (In case you’re wondering–yes, you have seen this before.) Way to stay alive, y’all!

ShutterButtonMay 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm

Shutter Button: All Hail Van Pelt

This snapshot was taken at Van Pelt’s dedication ceremony on one sunny October day in 1962. It’s like a retro Library Social! Imagine if the ceremony was right now and all of these nice people were simply sitting there watching you study and listening to you learn.

NewsMarch 1, 2012 at 1:27 pm

Students Stage Walk-Out On Education

A crowd of about 40 students has congregated outside Van Pelt as part of a walk-out on classes, holding signs with pithy slogans like, “An Ivy Reputation≠Education” and “Education is not a commodity.” Them’s true words! Passersby seem to agree with their general sentiment, although those currently holed up on the south side of Van Pelt are shooting the protesters disapproving glares over their loud cheers. Welp.

ShutterButtonFebruary 7, 2012 at 1:21 pm

ShutterButton: Let’s Go Fly A Kite

In a celebration of the mild winter weather we’ve been having and definitely not as part of some sort of humiliating pledging activity, Theta’s finest have been out all morning flying kites and tunelessly chanting “Let’s Go Fly a Kite” from “Mary Poppins.” Yea, verily, Thetas, go forth and fly your kites in front of Van Pelt. Just stay away from the button, please.

NewsFebruary 7, 2012 at 9:35 am

Van Pelt And The Real Girl

A pledge had a little Rosenparty all to himself when he recently brought his inflatable friend into the library. Fratty, but gross. In any case, good to have you back, milady! It’s been two and a half years since we last saw you!