“DON’T VOTE. It only encourages the bastards!” they say. Either this person really doesn’t like Obomney, or they’re clearly misinformed about the legitimacy of both of their respective children. Either way, the new (same) president has been elected. Check out The DP for election results!

You might spot a few familiar faces contending for the title of Philly Mag’s Best of Philly 2012. You might not, though, which is why we’re gonna go ahead and point ‘em out for you.

First, we’ve got our very own (we use this phrase loosely as only about 5% of Penn students have ever been there, and only about 2% on purpose) Rotunda in the running to be named Philadelphia’s best Indie Music Venue this year.

Second, the Morris Arboretum’s “Out on a Limb” exhibit is up for the most Fun Place to Take the Kids. But you’ll be the judge of that, won’t you?

Cast your votes for these and/or other Philly hotspots right here. And then wait 24 hours to do it again!

Okay PennDems, we see you. We’re trying to walk past your stupid— oh, hey, yeah, what’s up, do we like cookies or brownies? Do the brownies have pot in them? …Do the cookies have pot in them? No? Well okay, fine, we like brownies. But we’ll take cookies too. Just give us—what? No, we don’t have a Pennsylvania ID… or a passport, what, why do you want that? Hold up.

We can’t have the brownies unless we show you an ID or passport? This is the worst thing to ever happen to us!

Ohhh. This is a metaphor for what will happen under HB934 if it passes the Pennsylvania State Senate. Deep. Rock on with your politically-active bad selves. Now give us our brownies. Seriously. And you should throw in some cookies for the trauma you just put us through.

We have some weird feeling in the pit of our stomach that we just realized was civic pride, so we’re letting you know tomorrow is one of those annual “election days” where you vote for stuff. You know, like the primaries no one voted in back in May, except a bigger deal.

If you’re a Philly voter, you can choose whether or not to re-elect Penn alum Mayor Michael Nutter, as well as other municipal positions. There’s even voting booths on campus, located in Houston Hall, Harrison, Harnwell, DRL, Steiny-D and the Free Library; find yours here.

If you’re still registered elsewhere, hopefully you sent your absentee ballot in! If you didn’t, you can still remind your friends at home to do the right thing and hit up the polls. At the very least, voting now is great practice for next year.

The NEC released this video to scare everyone into remembering just how important it is to get out and vote this week. In case you were unaware, we dropped to number 5 and GoodCrush shut down. Both events have rocked the entire Penn community to its core. So vote! This banned-in-Germany video (sorry, Oktoberfest-ers) will be a total waste if you don’t.

Generally, we prefer our elections Youtube-ified and carrying the promise of Dining Dollars at Wawa. But for you tools PennDems people who argue with the professor about the Constitution who are interested in bureaucracy outside our bubble, the PA election results are tricklin’ in right about now.

We know, right, an election in May? Don’t bother pretending, you had no idea either. It was only a primary, but some super dramatic stuff is going down (SPOILER ALERT: Arlen Specter’s gonna lose! Hope there’s footage of old dudes crying)!

We could wait until 100% of the precincts are reporting, but there are some strange places in the middle of nowhere, PA that are slowing us down (Clarion, we’re looking at you) and it’s past our bedtime. So we’ll just give you this link here to the official-looking results. Wake us up if anything crazy happens.