Blinded by the glitz and glamour that is Amy Gutmann, we sometimes forget those who came before her. That’s right, our favorite blonde bombshell didn’t always reign over Penn. A number of presidents and provosts have kept this school alive since 1740, and it’s about time we recognize them, and relate them to you.
“Move over, BuzzFeed,” we say once again. Which Penn President are you? Do you have what it takes to get A-Gut? You might be surprised… Take our personality quiz!
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Now on Penn’s campus, Crunchbutton is a website and iPhone app (originally designed by Yale students) that allows people to order popular dishes online from local restaurants that don’t usually deliver. Imagine: Wawa, Sweetgreen, and/or Chipotle in your mouth with a click of a button–finally your wildest dreams have come true!
This happiness does come at a rather steep price: a medium side of mac and cheese from WaWa will set you back almost $8 with the automatic tip added. Additionally, the site’s hours of operation seem to be a little off (restaurants randomly “close” during the day), and we were confused by the picture of the sports car with the caption “Be a Delivery Biker!” on the homepage. But despite all this, we are still ecstatic to finally have a start-up we can get on board with and we can’t wait until that burrito bowl is cradled safely in our immobile arms.
This goes out to all the homies who said we should be more like BuzzFeed. Yeah, ONE HUNDRED.
- The Gobbler, their Thanksgiving shuffle button of a sandwich.
- The music played over the speakers, from Stevie Wonder to Hall & Oates, is always perfect.
- Open 24/7.
- Their two convenient locations (one near Huntsman, one near VP.)
- Hazelnut Coffee.
- French Vanilla Coffee.
- Packages of single condoms.
- Those cash registers where the coins pop out the side.
- Onomatopoeic name emphasises the primal need for Wawa experienced by infants.
- Mac N’ Cheese.
- Touch screen machines where you can order without talking to a human.
- No-surcharge ATMs.
- Straws wrapped in paper for cleanliness.
- All you can eat ketchup/mustard/salt/pepper.
- The month of $1 coffee (January, but currently extended until 2/8!)
- The Wawa Facebook page, where the comments are all gold.
- The oatmeal. Read the rest of this entry »
Because we’re thankful for ya, the staff here at UTB put together a li’l Thanksgiving bingo card for your eNjOyMeNt. Click to enlarge, print, and cut it out (god bless if you actually do). See if you can get bingo before the food coma sets in, or blackout before Grandma blacks out. Hurrah, hurrah, happy Thanksgivukkah!
Penn has released its Fall 2013 “Day in the Life of Penn,” a collection of 108 photos meant to capture “all aspects of campus life from sunrise to well after sunset on one bright fall day.” Aw.
While we credit the creators for documenting totally everyday things like model shots of Dean Furda, horses and cows at the Vet school, and a really cool foam pit at the gymnastics center, we noticed that they left out a few of the raw details of what it means to be a Penn student. Catch a list of the top 10 nitty gritty omissions after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »
I WILL NOT GO. TURN THE LIGHTS OFF. CARRY ME HOME. We are utterly, unspeakably devastated to report the sudden death of University City’s premier munchie/drunchie haven, DP Dough.
Less frosh-filled than Wawa, less bouncer-protected than McDonald’s, cheaper/tastier than FroGro and open later than Allegro, the always-friendly calzone connoisseurs of 40th Street will never be forgotten. While it’s true they are a chain and our cravings can technically be satisfied elsewhere, this location was special because people thought it was named after a certain newspaper. (And the closest ones are at Penn State and University of Delaware.)
DP Dough: we promise to keep you alive in our (lack of) memories and will always love you. Mourning readers, email your well wishes to their Facebook, because for the establishment always open til 3:30am, it’s the final closing time. RIP.
Unfortunately, this is not a joke. Fortunately, we decided not to post a photo of urine on the Wawa sales floor.
We thought the sighting of the Penn Pooper would be enough to convince students that public excrement emancipation is frowned upon (at least in UCity), but clearly we failed. At approximately 2:30am a few nights ago, we received this tip:
Uh a girl just peed on the floor in Wawa. She also stayed to shop and had to be forcibly ejected.
Why, Wawa Wee-Wee Woman?
On a more sanitary note, we later found out that her blessed friends stayed in Wawa to pick up her sandwich and other dining accoutrements before fleeing the scene.
The University City eatery scene is an ever-changing beast, and even though many are solely concerned with HipCityVeg’s impending opening, UTB is here as always with the comprehensive report of the intriguing (or depressing) new kids on the block and the restaurants devastatingly closing their doors.
As we continue to tearfully mourn the tragic losses of Lee’s and Don Memo, The DP reports the sudden and shocking closure of another campus establishment. Artisserie Chocolate Cafe has bitten the bust, and the owners were allegedly forced to clear out in 30 minutes! That’s more stressful than oversleeping the morning of your midterm in DRL! Our hearts are with the beloved dessert shop, known for its chocolate and Lucida Calligraphy font.
Additionally, be forewarned that a walk north on 38th will leave you brokenhearted before you even hit Chili’s/Atlantis Gentlemen’s Club. That’s right, 7-Eleven is GONE, ABANDONED AND DILAPIDATED. Don’t you ever for a second get to thinking you’re replaceable, bb! Okay, you are, because we’ve got a new Wawa with better food to wipe up them tears, but still, RIP.
A Warm Welcome:
With all this sadness, we look to the light that is 44th Street. Dearest readers, we want to know your thoughts about the newest on-campus BYO. It’s not cheap Asian, but it will make boozy brunch mimosas if you bring champagne! Let us know if you’ve sampled the farm-to-table offerings of RX the Farmacy, which resided there previously (simply as RX) before a brief stint as a meh Italian joint. But more importantly, are the rumors of this organic haven carding true?
UTB would also love to hear your in-depth critiques of the obscure new deli near Copa in Cream & Sugar’s old storefront. It’s called Subway, and we hear they have $5 footlongs. Is this perhaps the most welcome change of all? Does it compare to it’s dearly departed cousin who used to live under Commons? Sound off below!
Good ole’ Philadelphia. The welcoming home of our cozy campus. A place some of us have even been bold enough to call our city on Facebook.
But if recent, and past, BuzzFeed posts are good indicators, and they always are, we may know less about our dear city then we thought. As we read The Most Philadelphia Post To Ever Philly Philadelphia, ready to laugh and connect with our adoptive city, we were surprised to feel less like welcomed children, and more like morons. We get Wawa, and maybe even the Philly Pretzel Factory (whats with that shape? am I right?!), but for most of these references, the average Penn student is sadly out of the loop. Jawn? Crab fries? Glenn Schwartz?! What the phuck Filly!?
As if that wasn’t bad enough, the post then dares to mock Penn students for being too pretentious to belong! Slander we say! Our great-grandfathers who founded numerous important things will surely hear of this!
Despite this Philly, we still love you, and like a preteen girl who stalks her older brother’s super hot friend (not based in personal experience), we are sure some day you’ll love us back. See you in the fall, Glenn.
UTB regrets to report a devastating loss to the Penn community. Sadly, the nightly pilgrimage to 38th and Spruce is no more for those lone Quakers still wandering around campus. Not so sadly, the newly renovated Wawa will open in about six weeks and we know what you’re wondering: how is it possible for Wawa to get even better? We’re thinking nacho cheese fountain.