Gawker just totally called out a Penn alum for being, well, a giant dick. Basically, he tried to scam some 19-year-old models, they figured it out, used the reply-all function for good and not evil, and he flipped his shit.
You can decide for yourself which of these are natural versus Wharton-nurtured about his douchiness:
Um, the whole extortion thing
Excessive use of capital letters in subject line
Obnoxiously listing all of his accomplishments, making sure they are seen as better than anything anyone else could do
Assuming a mastery of the legal system, power over the forces of logic, and psychic skills to predict, without any doubt, a court victory
Name-dropping Domino’s Pizza
So there you have it: John Fitzgerald Page, today’s worst person… in the woooorld!
Soon, you too can become part of a couple just as money-soaked as this one
finish up the last few credits of your MRS degrees: New York magazine has released its 2010 installment of the annual Foxes of Finance series. This year, 15 of the most successful, well-rounded money-grubbers in New York were profiled, and three of them are Penn alums (imagine that!). Using a rigorous and highly scientific rating scale (factors sometimes include age, personality traits highlighted by the article, and dating history, among others), we’ve ranked the bachelors from least to most attainable/desirable for current students and recent graduates of our fine institution. Think of Penn as good conversation fodder – you’ve already got something in common! Because it’s never too early to start your trophy wife game, just follow our advice, claw your way over some like-minded competitors, and you’ll be on your way to the gilded wedding you’ve always dreamed of in no time. Check out the rankings after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »
Believe it or not, there’s more on the oft-debated topic of “Is Penn Actually Worth It?” The Huffington Post says yes! Yes, it is worth it, the $200,000 is worth it.
HuffPo has a slideshow of the colleges with the biggest payoff by calculating Return on Investment for different schools. Known as ROI, for Wharton folk. At Penn the annual ROI is 11.8% while the 30-Year ROI comes out to $1,361,000. Read the rest of this entry »
Penn has a fairly impressive fleet of accomplished alums: Elizabeth Banks, Louis Kahn, and TORY BURCH are just a few of the boldface names that have graced our fine campus. But how many of them have been featured in the July 2010 issue of Vanity Fair? NONE! For the aspiring billionaire super mogul in all of us, this month’s issuehas a rare interview with secretive hedge fund king and Penn alum Steven Cohen, complete with a photo editorial by the sought after (albeit financially illiterate) Annie Leibovitz.
As Cohen tells it, his time at Penn wasn’t particularly overwhelmed by academics so much as it was by the poker table and downtown stock tickers. He namedrops some quintessential Penn student hotspots (like the Center City Merrill Lynch office and ZBT) before launching into a detailed history of his rise to the top of Wall Street and a riveting account of his inflamed slipped disc. The guy is pretty much the Indiana Jones of Greenwich, CT.
Even though the article is essentially an attempt to restore honor to the venerable and time honored practice of derivatives trading, it might be worth a second look if you need some pointers on the path to world domination (or a ludicrously extensive contemporary art collection).
We wrote about this whole ordeal in October, but now there’s another update.
Reynolds enrolled in the Executive Master’s in Technology Management (EMTM) program, which is a professional degree program run through Engineering with a Wharton cosponsorship. Students get a Master’s Degree in Engineering but a certificate signed by both the Wharton and Engineering deans. Still, it is an Engineering program–and seems like a good one at that.
Every time we get a new episode of listserv abuse, we think to ourselves that this will surely be the last one. By now people must have figured out how to use their emails, right? We’re then, of course, totally secretly thrilled when we hear listserv drama is still alive and well.
It is our honor to present the latest in internet lameness: the Wharton Investment Club Unsubscribe Crisis of 2010. If you’re in a time crunch, just scroll straight to the ultimate take-home: “For crying out loud, stop using AOL. You’re embarrassing yourself.” Read the rest of this entry »
On Thursday, Wharton ’08 grads sold their startup company Invite Media to Google for 70 million dolla bills. Yup, $70,000,000. Zach Weinberg and Nat Turner developed their online advertising technology business while at Penn.
The job market! It’s pretty awful out there–but maybe not as bad as last year? According to an article in Tuesday’s New York Times biz section, “This spring’s college graduates face better job prospects than the dismal environment encountered by last year’s grads.”
And when you’re a newspaper looking for a handsome, hired business grad, where do you go? Why, Wharton, of course!
The article profiles Andrew Stern(who looks pretty cute in the photo! Call us! Wink!), a ’10 Wharton grad who’s been “snatched up” by financial services firm Deloitte. Stern, who concentrated in “organizational effectiveness” (hmmm), said good ol’ Huntmsan Hall was gloomy after the Lehman Brothers collapse in 2008, but that Whartonites are starting to see green again. Read the rest of this entry »
Ask yourself this as you unpack the bottles of tequila you hid from your parents during move-out: What sets a Whartonite apart from every other graduate student? If you answered “lack of a soul,” you’d be wrong. Well, that’s what the Wharton administrators would say.
According to U.S. News and World Report, admissions officers emphasize that Wharton applicants need not have all the work experience in the world but must (wait for it) have a strong sense of identity and be able to identify their strengths and weaknesses. Psh. Boring.
But it gets better. When asked to describe the typical student at the school, admissions officers said that Whartonites are passionate about their work and dedicated to “having an impact.” We agree that the poster-child of W-ton, Donald Trump, perfectly embodies these ideals.
We can’t tell if we have second-hand embarrassment or if we actually find this video funny, especially because we don’t get half the jokes. Likes: the hair flowing in the fan-generated wind. Dislikes: the physical representation of what’s happening in these people’s pants. Leave some to the imagination, please.
Meet our newest feature, “People Who Went To Penn.” Rather than focus on the well known corporate bigwigs and politicians we count among our alumni, we’ll shine the spotlight on lesser known, but kind-of-more-awesome-in-a-way types. For our first installment, meet J.D. Power.
If you’ve ever watched a car commercial, you’ll recognize the “Ranked Best in its Class By J.D. Power and Associates.” You know what we’re talking about, right?
James D. Power III earned an M.B.A. in Finance in the late 1950s. Before heading to Wharton, Power worked for the Coast Guard as an icebreaker in the Arctic. This icebreaking/Finance experience led Power to start conducting consumer satisfaction research in 1968, leading to the founding of J.D. Power and Associates. And there you have it.
So, basketball didn’t work out this year, but Penn beat Princeton where it hurts: the money game. According to Philly.com, Penn has more billionaires on Forbes list of the world’s 1,000+ billionaires. With at least 25 billion-izz-aires with ties to Penn, the Quakers handily top the Tiger’s nine. The list includes some notables: the world’s 3rd richest man (Warren Buffett), a Quadrangle namesake (Ronald Perelman), and a casino mogul (Steve Wynn). The list also includes some not-so-notables, including supermarket heir Charles Butt. Mr. Butt, we’re glad you fell into foodstuff fortune, because we’re not sure if success was otherwise playing in your favor.
Given the similarities between Dorson and his protagonist Callum Littlefield (boarding school prepster, Ivy Leaguer, Wall Street whiz), we’d expect this was a “screw you, Deutsche” roman à clef, but the author has only denied any truth behind his pages.
Perhaps even more surprising, however, this finance guy is not a Whartonite. Maybe that’s why the book is actually being touted as “the beach read of 2010” by the very literary-minded site, Guest of a Guest.
We’ll let you know when if we read it. No word yet on whether the “Ivy League university” in the book’s description is Penn.
Tipster Yiyi Zhou alerted us to this AWESOME listing in the Fall 2010 Timetable. We knew Wharton had a stick up their ass, but this is just taking it too far! The best part? Our sources tell us “Lai” is Chinese for “come”. Excuse us while we continue rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter.
