NewsNovember 28, 2012 at 11:37 am

ATTN: Future Wearers of “I Met My Spouse At Penn” Buttons

Spotted in the VP bathrooms. Click to zoom.

Tired of sending romantic texts meant for your boyfriend to your dad instead? Accidentally mass SnapChat that picture of your ta-tas? Have no fear, overly touchy, PDA couples with matching profile pictures – there’s an app for that.

Between is Penn’s latest venture into the world of iPhone apps. According to its description, “Between is a private mobile space for you and your special someone. Share photos, texts, voice messages, and special days on Between to make your great relationship even better.” Ew.

In other words, a more secretive way for you to send nudie pics to your special someone. Merry Christmas, baby.

ShutterButtonNovember 6, 2012 at 3:36 pm

ShutterButton: Ready to Rock?

Are you a drummer? Do you like alcohol? Are you walking your dog right now? Did you vote today?* If so, look no further than these flyers posted all over Baltimore — that is, if you’re under 40 (or at least look like it). Preston Hull has channeled its inner J-14 Magazine and published this complex flowchart for anyone interested in joining their band. It may not help you find out if that hottie from Econ is into you (looking at you, kid in front row with striking blue eyes and kippah), but at least you’ll see if you have what it takes to ROCK.

*not actually listed as a requirement in the flowchart but like, duh

FeaturesOctober 28, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Your Parents Said What!? Tell Us!

 PARENTS! They’re old. They’re a little insane. They usually “don’t” “get” “it.” And we still love them, especially when they try their hardest to make sure that we’re doing okay.

As you all know by now, Hurricane Sandy is almost upon us, and understandably, your parents are (probably) worried about your safety. The urgent calls, the strange texts, the emails written out in multiple colors? We love that ish– all those adorably weird pieces of advice that mommy and daddy have doled out over the past few days are comic gold. So send them in! Yup, submit your best pieces of parental hurricane advice by noon tomorrow and we’ll post the best ones tomorrow afternoon.

ShutterButtonSeptember 24, 2012 at 11:52 am

ShutterButton: BRIT + JUSTIN O.M.G. OVER!

BREAKING! ALERT, ALERT! Have you guys heard the juicy gossip? Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake are donezo, broken up, totally over! So much SADNESS! We are casually freaking out and/or dying! OMG! We thought they seemed totally precious together, but guess who was wrong? This button! We found out from these totally random posters some gossip queen put up all over Locust Walk! And what’s that phone number doing there? Is it a Brit+Justin PTSD counseling hotline? We’re not sure! OMG! First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes SPLITSVILLE! And we thought Mickey Mouse Club members were perfect! One pint of Chubby Hubby, please!

Check after the jump for some more TimberSpears tears!

ShutterButtonJune 29, 2012 at 2:53 pm

Cloud Search On Locust

A man on Locust Walk handed a tipster this flyer yesterday at around 5 p.m. While this isn’t the type of missing poster we’re used to seeing, it has been rather steamy in Philly recently, and perhaps some clouds could do us good. If you happen to tweet at the oddball specified on the paper, you’ll find a “Philadelphia Doom Fortress”-based “raconteur and thought criminal.” Cute!

ShutterButtonJune 20, 2012 at 6:38 pm

ShutterButton: PhiDied

Philly Diner, deceased since October, is now gone from campus for good, and you can tell that we’re upset and/or nostalgic about it because we Instagrammed this photo. Our sources inform us that the building went down not with a bang, but a whimper, and SDTs everywhere collectively shed a single tear over the loss of their last horcrux second home.

We totally called PhiDi’s downfall when it started serving steak, but hey! We’re still pretty shocked. “Where were you when the PhiDied?” future generations will ask.

NewsJune 11, 2012 at 8:25 am

Who Steals Umbrella Stands, Even?

Because Metro’s are probably too big and clunky to warrant the effort. Using our Nancy Drew problem-solving skills, we figure that the thief needed accomplices, a getaway truck, a couple of balaclavas and the balls to take on the best granola in the country. But every story has two sides, so maybe this is some kind of twisted karma for Metro after trying to pass off that dragonfly salad on an unsuspecting customer. Who knows!

Calling All "Prostitution Whores"– "Real Housewives of New Jersey" and "Celebrity Apprentice" humanlike Vessel of Evil Teresa Giudice will be visiting the Penn Bookstore on June 13th to sign copies of her new cookbook Fabulicious!: Fast & Fit, because why not? Mark your calendars now, friends!
NewsMay 3, 2012 at 10:13 am

Penn Has An Erection For The Class of 1962

Seeking possible interpretations for this new monument erected at 37th and Walnut to honor the class of 1962 for funding the reconstruction of 37th Street into Benjamin Franklin’s Way (you know, with the bricks and stones engraved with quotes and all). Will the real FNAR majors please stand up (and ‘splain to us)?

NewsMay 1, 2012 at 12:38 pm

In Which A Helicopter Parent Tells Us We Have A Drinking Problem

Hey, remember when that bloggy mommy whose daughter is a Penn grad student did that shocking exposé on how Penn is awful at tailgating? Ring any bells? Well Sandy Hingston is back and well on her way to establishing herself as the most out of touch Penn parent in all the interwebs. In the May issue of Philly Magazine, Hingston goes on an extended romp of crazy in her wannabe tell-all “The University of Pennsylvania Has a Drinking Problem.”

Yes, it’s just as ridiculous as it sounds. Sandy, you’re embarrassing yourself again.