Remember this guy? Wharton grad and all-around party animal Taek Jho Low was making waves with his decadent lifestyle last year, with crazy antics that included flying Megan Fox around and holding bottles of Crystal with Usher.
Well, the tabloids have not forgotten our Malaysian investor buddy this year! Our favorite rumor? That J-Low paid Paris Hilton $1 million to hang out with him in St. Tropez, where she sprawled topless on his yacht, getting doused in champagne or something.
According to Gawker, J-Low denies having paid for his friends. He and Paris insist that they are really just bosom buddies who met through her parents. So giant yacht parties in St. Tropez are really just like playdates for them, and topless tanning is kind of like taking baths together? Whatever the case, TJL, we say keep the champagne flowing!
LOL College Rankings-- Forbes posted their yearly college rankings again. Spoiler alert: Penn comes in at #36. Yawn. Are they forgetting that we feed them billionaires to write about on the daily?
Honestly, the Penn videos keep getting strangerandstranger. We don’t even know what to say anymore. This latest one from “Izaac’s Taco” makes actually no sense. And we’re now sensing a theme throughout the dark, seedy world of Penn Youtubes: absurd background music, relevance to a completely random part of Penn life, and a splash of second-hand embarrassment.
We can’t wait to see topics people cover next. Penncards? BYOs? Rosenparty bathrooms? Keep ‘em coming, folks, there’s still two days of finals left.
At first, when we received this tip we were all like, cool, horse and buggy outside Hill, someone’s feeling nostalgic for Philadelphia’s glory days. Then we found out this carriage was actually rented for a Zete boy’s birthday bash and we were like, damn, that actually sounds like fun! Next time, let us take that baby for a whirl.
Locust is known for many things — flyers, tour groups, bad luck and B-Frank — but today we can add one more to the list. Apparently a couple is taking advantage of the weather and, uh, getting married on the Walk. Is this legit? We have no idea, but we’re really digging the girl with a pancake on her head (assuming she’s even involved). Maybe they’ll honeymoon on Spruce. One more shot of the newlyweds after the jump.
Oh, Taek Jho Low. We hardly knew you. Well, we actually didn’t know you at all, since you graduated from Penn in 2004. But that doesn’t matter, because you are the latest Penn alum to gain notoriety for your ridiculously excessive ways. Congratulations!
The New York Post is reporting that Low, a native of Malaysia, is causing quite a stir on the New York club circuit. Low looks like your typical Wharton nerd, which makes the whole thing even more intriguing to the likes of Daniel Craig and Usher (yep, that’s Usher and Low downing some bubbly).
The weirdest thing he’s done thusfar? Fly Megan Fox (hey, remember when she filmed that movie at Penn?) out to Vegas for his birthday. However, our favorite Low fact is that he wrote this stock pick piece about Enron for the Wharton Journal.
Here is a breakdown of Low by the numbers:
20-something: his age
$160,000: a recent bar tab at Avenue
23: bottles of Cristal he sent over to Lindsay Lohan at her 23rd birthday celebration at 1OAK
$100,000: the cost of his monthly rent in the Park Imperial, where he counts P. Diddy among his neighbors
8-12: people in his entourage
$300,000: amount spent on six exclusive memberships to “an upscale club in Midtown”
Street photo editor Thomas Jansen sent in this photo of a powerless Harnwell College House (Rodin’s on the left, Harnwell’s on the right). We hear the power is out in Harnwell, ZBT and a few other surrounding buildings.
Our intrepid Features editor Paul Richards sent us this photo of a firetruck zooming up Locust Walk. Turns out there was some smoke coming from a building near The Arch, but no actual fire to speak of.
The spring issue of The Walk, Penn’s most faaaaabulous fashion mag, is set to finally hit the streets! Ever the arbiters of cool, we assume the editors decided to Walk in fashionably late, given their decision to publish a week into finals period.
The writing is mostly unoriginal (congrats on discovering The Green Line and Clark Park!), but the styling and photos ain’t too shabby. The models do give us some hope in the sea of sweatpants and messy hairdos that we’re spotting in Van Pelt.
A flip-through version of the issue is available here.
We invite you to examine an e-mail invitation we received today:
HilLOL
Check out the recepient line: yep, it’s addressed to jewsthatareseniors@pobox.upenn.edu. Well, no use beating around the bush, huh? He says it’s not real, but it makes us wonder what other overly honest listservs lurk on Penn’s servers. Gingersbutweprefertobecalledredheads@pobox.upenn.edu? Halfasians@pobox.upenn.edu? Legaciesthatpeakedinhighschool@pobox.upenn.edu? The possibilities are endless. But keep in mind the possibility of overlap — for example, Murrayhillleases09@pobox.upenn.edu would most certainly be redundant due to the existence of the aforementioned jewsthatareseniors list.
How can you effortlessly communicate your lameness? Talk about Twitter IRL, forget to plug in your headphones while you’re listening to Miley Cyrus in Van Pelt, and wear this shirt, which Penn’s Office of Health Education is selling for just $5. You’re welcome.
Starting around 9 p.m., the corner of 40th and Walnut started to flood with West Philly teenagers. Hundreds of them. McDonalds, Fresh Grocer, and Greek Lady closed their doors to business while the police barricaded Walnut between 39th and 40th, and 40th between Walnut and Market. Tipsters reported seeing nightstick-wielding police officers attempting to herd the mob away from campus, as well as helicopters circling the area at around 10:30. By 11:00, the mob had dispersed and the line outside of Smokes (protected by a security guard) was back to its usual Saturday bustle. According to the DP, the Philadelphia Police Department has reported an assault against an officer.
Not one, not two, but THREE Penngineers forwarded us a most disconcerting e-mail from the SEAS powers that be, warning students to change their passwords or risk the consequences. Compromised servers, intruders, encryption: sounds like there’s some good old-fashioned intrigue in the normally placid Engineering quad. (Hmm, we wonder if this has anything to do with the last time SEAS got hacked, the perpetrator of which we hear is serving out his house arrest sentence in a HamCo apartment.) Check out the e-mail in full:
We all need to change our SEAS passwords, because the SEAS servers
were compromised. The intruder probably stole the password file, and
with enough time will be able to crack the encryption and recover the
passwords. We want new passwords in place before that happens. If
your SEAS password is not changed by 5pm Tuesday, April 28th, then we
will change it for you to keep your account secure.
No, you haven’t slipped into the Twilight Zone version of FroGro, and it’s not your eyes deceiving you: the chips and soda in the store’s final aisle have mysteriously been swapped! Why is still a mystery, and we encourage anyone with insight into the advantages of the switcheroo to speak up!
How can you effortlessly communicate your lameness? Talk about 
Starting around 9 p.m., the corner of 40th and Walnut started to flood with West Philly teenagers. Hundreds of them. McDonalds, Fresh Grocer, and Greek Lady closed their doors to business while the police barricaded Walnut between 39th and 40th, and 40th between Walnut and Market. Tipsters reported seeing nightstick-wielding police officers attempting to herd the mob away from campus, as well as helicopters circling the area at around 10:30. By 11:00, the mob had dispersed and the line outside of Smokes (protected by a security guard) was back to its usual Saturday bustle. 
Not one, not two, but THREE Penngineers forwarded us a most disconcerting e-mail from the SEAS powers that be, warning students to change their passwords or risk the consequences. Compromised servers, intruders, encryption: sounds like there’s some good old-fashioned intrigue in the normally placid 
