Your parents have been away from you for just over a month, and already they’re worried that something dire has happened: you’ve used up all six bottles of shampoo, the labels on your underwear came off in the wash, you haven’t found a nice Jewish boy yet…
So they’ve decided to come to campus this weekend, staying in the room at the Inn at Penn that they’ve had reserved since December 15th, to “see your life on campus” and “get to know your friends a little better.” [Subtitle: "We can't wait to meet Smoke! Ya know, that kid whose dorm you go to every Thursday and Saturday night?"]. Midterms or OCR can’t stop them now. They’re here for 3 days, and they want to see it all. Here’s your guide to skip-able events as well as those to not miss! Click here for a day-by-day guide…
Seniors, Hey Day was– what? Almost five months ago? Anyway, we can’t say that we had fun until the Class Board officially says we had fun, and so they made this video to tell us that YES! We did have fun! See? Look at all those drunk eyes and sheepish grins; feel the crunch of styrofoam in your mouthhole at 0:47; hear the ecstatic screams of a girl and her hamburger at 2:01. Too bad we remember 0% of it, because apparently it was the best day of our lives. Right, girl at 2:06? Preach.
Adorable pre-frosh Roderick Cook made this video thanking the Penn Class of 2016 online community for its support and strong sense of camaraderie and etc. etc. etc. as he and the rest of the newest crop of bestest and brightestest move into West Philly. They’re a bunch of good friends already, ya hear? But seeing as the 2012-13 academic year is the Year of Proof, we’d like to PROVE to you, RoCo, that we’re your strongest candidates for BFF-hood at Penn.
Roderick: “…It was a really great experience to be able to make friends and have a good time with people without even meeting them.” (1:23)
UTB: We hate meeting people too! All those awkward “Hi, how are you?”s, “What’s your name?”s and “Damn, that’s a helluva gaptooth!”s we always get? WE DON’T NEED ‘EM EITHER!
With 9 weeks left until we change our professional headlines on Linkedin back to “Student,” we stumbled across this video which actually kinda made us miss campus. The vintage footage of old school Penn comes from 1957, a time when upperclassmen lived in the Upper Quad, Hey Day was called the Junior Cane Walk, and freshmen participated in a wacky tradition called “Dink Day.”
Among the best lines in the 30 minute promo flick, which was meant to entice prospective students, was a plea to attend the Wharton School of Finance (pron: fin-ants) and Commerce at 9:25: ”When you are a tycoon and come to figure out your income tax, you will be grateful that you paid attention to this professor in accounting.” We’re sold!
You’re sitting at home during the most awkward three weeks of your life. Your internship hasn’t started yet, and there’s only so many more times you can leaf through “Oh, the Places You’ll Go!” and your high school yearbook. So sit back, break out the Penn Alumni sweatshirt, and enjoy your grad vids. As if you need any more urging, we present you with a list of reasons to relive your last 15 minutes as a Quaker.
8) Amy’s charge to the graduates of “You do nothing by half-measure—including your celebrating!” applies to you a little bit too much, considering you can’t remember her telling you this when she first said it. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m Shmacked is a documentary series in which some horribly obnoxious college-aged ne’er-do-wells dance and prance about college campuses getting drunk as much as they possibly can, and it is even more annoying than it sounds– like MTV’s The Real World, except without any redeeming qualities. Luckily for us, the creators came to Penn a few weeks ago for Spring Fling. The resulting video makes us feel all :( inside.
Get ready to see Penn through the eyes of the kids you went to high school with who list “lol i hate books” on their Facebook profiles.
“We’re here for motherfuckin’ Spring Fling 2012- UPenn, U. o’ Pennsylvania. I’m shmacked, what up?” our new friend J-Boy explains. Watch some bros drink, some clown bros juggle bowling pins, another bro pass out on a couch, and a bro talk about how much some girl wants him around 2:40. Cool story, bro! Let’s all hang out next time you’re in town.
SPEC, in conjunction with Penn’s Center for Public Health Initiatives, wil be bringing in Dan Savage next month! Savage, author of the popular “Savage Love” column and creator of the “It Gets Better” YouTube project, will be talking about his use of socia media and how it relates to LGBT health issues among youth today.
Given that Penn is supposedly the nation’s #1 gay-friendly school and our very own Prez made her own “It Gets Better” video, the choice of Dan Savage as speaker isn’t all that surprising, but still neato nonetheless. But wait! It gets better! Tickets to the event, held Monday, March 19th, at 8 p.m. in Zellerbach, are free. Just stop by the box office to get yours.
Check out NEC’s latest video encouraging Penn students to run for the UA (if you dare) and the Class Board. It’s what all the cool kids are doing–or, at least, that’s what our favorite blonde did. Watch A-Gut (generic Franklin quote included) swivel uncomfortably in a chair along with other campus celebs like Professor Rebecca Stein, Dean from Magic Carpet and Dean of Admissions Eric Furda. We still don’t want to run for the UA or Class Board, but that’s okay, because someone else will take the initiative.
“You need to shut your stupid mouth” is probably the mildest thing this elderly woman had to say to a surly passenger in this soon-to-be viral video shot on SEPTA. In fact, the altercation between the woman and her young friend is so gritty ‘n real ‘n stuff that it was featured on that internet gossiphole, Gawker. As Penn students forced to use SEPTA to get to Center City or Don Memo (it’s always one or the other), we see this situation on the reg– we all have at least one horrific SEPTA story to share. What’s yours? Tell us in the comments.