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Now You Must Choose Between the Overcoat and Carhartt

It's Time to Choose.


Jealous: Student Who Ran Half Marathon Can Eat Whatever They Want for Next Two Days

When polled, students reported being extremely jealous of the student's incredible accomplishment: not the fact that they ran a grueling 13.1 miles straight, but their newfound ability to eat a full pint of Ben & Jerry’s Tonight Dough guilt-free. 


To Improve Mental Health, Penn to Hang Two More Icicle Lights This Year

This will give students a staggering thirty extra seconds of exposure to the finest mental health resource out there: artificial LED light.


Happy Homecoming!! My Red, White, and Blue Sweater from The Real Real is No Match for Yours

In girl world, Homecoming (and also the Fourth of July) is the one day a year when girls can wear red, white and blue and no other girls can say anything about it. 


Op-Ed: Please Stay Out of My Line of Sight When Waiting for the Hip Thrust Machine

The bad part about someone watching you do hip thrusts is that you’re doing hip thrusts while someone is watching you.


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