BREAKING: Cork and Candles Shuts Down After Management Realizes What a Dumbass Idea It Was
Marketing professor Barbara Kahn put it plainly: "I don't know what the fuck they were thinking."
After Successful Diddy Indictment, FBI Begins Preparing Case Against Penn Disney Acapella
They told me that if I'm looking to sing Disney songs, then Penn Disney A Cappella isn't the place for me. Penn Disney A Cappella is the place for hardcore deviant sex.
Most recent
Now You Must Choose Between the Overcoat and Carhartt
It's Time to Choose.
Jealous: Student Who Ran Half Marathon Can Eat Whatever They Want for Next Two Days
When polled, students reported being extremely jealous of the student's incredible accomplishment: not the fact that they ran a grueling 13.1 miles straight, but their newfound ability to eat a full pint of Ben & Jerry’s Tonight Dough guilt-free.
To Improve Mental Health, Penn to Hang Two More Icicle Lights This Year
This will give students a staggering thirty extra seconds of exposure to the finest mental health resource out there: artificial LED light.
Happy Homecoming!! My Red, White, and Blue Sweater from The Real Real is No Match for Yours
In girl world, Homecoming (and also the Fourth of July) is the one day a year when girls can wear red, white and blue and no other girls can say anything about it.
Op-Ed: Please Stay Out of My Line of Sight When Waiting for the Hip Thrust Machine
The bad part about someone watching you do hip thrusts is that you’re doing hip thrusts while someone is watching you.