In a land of increasing competition between Jewish fraternities at Penn, Sammy has lost its position as a Jewish fraternity at Penn and will be forced to take an entirely Presbyterian class this semester.
“Thank God that freak Elon isn’t here. That guy really sucks. Fucking weirdo.”
How did it fit in the tunnels? Is this all a hoax? These questions, and more, are answered in this article.
But if you do see me out, no, I'm not contagious. In fact, please do come near me!
“The pressures of modernity have been and continue to be much for a sensitive young man such as myself to handle,” Zhang said in a press release.
I really thought the locker-room positivity bunny would save the Eagles’ season.
The student proclaimed that he intended to “double-fist” his afflictions with pride, as in other areas of life.
Every year, as we near the day we celebrate one of our nation’s greatest Civil Rights figures, we all come across the same problem: How do I throw a great MLK day darty?
Butterball’s death marks the first pardoned Turkey fatality since the tradition’s advent in 1963, under the Kennedy Administration.
The student was found staggering across High Rise field, muttering "I must not steal, I must not steal."
The Good News Is Here. Join the Task Forces.
Interim President Jameson has announced he is done fucking around and is now strapped.
Solutions by The State News
