Branding issues: There are too many things named Penn!

We were doing some important research on Seventeen magazine's website (shut up) and we came across this item on Penn Badgley.  Who is Penn Badgley, you ask?  We wish we didn't know!  He plays pretentious emosogynist Dan on Gossip Girl, and we completely hate him for lots of reasons, not least of which is that his first name is Penn.

There are simply too many things on God's green earth named Penn.  Every few years, someone writes a DP column about how we should change our name to Franklin University blah blah blah...but no!  It is all the other lame things that should change their names.  Why should we change?  They're the ones that suck.  So, Sean Penn (but not Kal Penn because we like him), Penn & Teller, other universities that happen to have the word "Penn" in them, and most of all, Penn Badgley: get new names.  May we suggest Darmouth?  Dartmouth Badgley has a nice ring to it.