Pissed Jockey: Three Things NOT To Do In Front Of The DJ

By day, Lauren Lipsay is a Street editor. But by night, she’s Penn’s best (and only) female DJ. In her feature, Pissed Jockey, DJLips will let us in on secrets and stories from the world behind the turntables.

Attention partygoers: I can see you. Though you may not realize it as you're grinding up on speakers/walls/each other, I'm not so consumed by mixing music that I can't see what's going on around me. In fact, a huge part of my job is to be acutely aware of party's vibe, so as to adjust the music accordingly. All of that being said, I feel compelled to regale you loyal UTB readers with some of my observations from last Friday night's frat party.

1. Diversity is one thing... Either it's still NSO (which I think I'd know about), or freshman writing seminars have started taking field trips. The groups of people that hit up this particular party were so motley and diverse that the only thing they had in common was their enrollment at Penn. Some of the kids might not have even had that going for them. Prime example: a bespectacled engineer, clad fully in Penn gear, doing the Cupid Shuffle with a kid who looked like....well, like the NBA Store threw up on him. Hey freshmen, maybe it's time to socialize beyond your halls!

2. There's some hoes in this house Now, having spun at my fair share of clubs, I've definitely witnessed couples get freaky on the dance floor. But Friday night was fairly unique, in that I saw not one, not two, but THREE girls' thongs. As the girls were dancing, they in fact pulled up their underwear into public view, so that their dancing partners could see. Such style! Such class!

3. The text-and-grind This genuinely and truly baffled me. A boy and a girl were dancing (quite sexually, if I may add), when they both wordlessly proceeded to whip out their iPhones and start text-messaging and making calls. Is this what's acceptable nowadays?! I know we here at Penn are big on multitasking, and I've seen a lot of things on the dance floor (see above), but this really took the cake. Either excuse yourself from your partner to answer your phone, or just let it ring. Period.