Escape From Under the Button: How We Spent Fall Break

Everyone here at UTB hopes you had a splendid break!  While you were eating at Applebee's with mom and dad, here's what various Street editors and blog gadflies were up to.

On day one, my parents came home from a vacation and gave me an hour-long lecture on the importance of being thrifty in the face of impending financial doom. Twenty-four hours later, my mom showed me her new Coach bag.

-Michael Gold

my break in six words: midwest is far, i missed pod.

-Julia Rubin

I spent a good chunk of my break sitting at my cousin’s Bar Mitzvah party, waiting for the DJ to play “The Electric Slide.” All four hours came and went and I never got to boogie-woogie-woogie.

-Ben Rosen

Jewish Holiday #1: Ate a huge meal. Fasted for 25 hours. Briefly considered asking God for forgiveness, but decided it wasn't worth the effort. Read first half of Harry Potter 6 to pass the time. Ate a second huge meal. Jewish Holiday #2: Ate a huge meal. Took a nap. Ate a second huge meal. Read second half of Harry Potter 6 to pass the time. Secular Holiday #1: Went to the Met. Saw Jeff Koons sculptures. Spent an embarrassingly long amount of time trying to figure out why there was a parade down 5th Avenue. Jewish Holiday #3: Ate a huge meal, this time in a little hut on my back porch. Went for a walk. Spent some more time in the hut. Wondered briefly why the hell I was sitting in a hut, but then resigned myself to the fact that my religion is quirky. Thanked God for the nice weather.

-Jess Spiegelman Spiegelman adds: "i'm actually writing this totally illegally (my parents think i'm observing a jewish holiday at the moment. i am clearly not)"

I had a cold, so I spent Fall Break channel surfing at home. The highlight was when I had to freak out at the implausibility of the newest episode of Degrassi (yes, I watch, moving on) after Mia decided her life goal was to be a model when the thought did not occur to her until some agent talked to her 12 seconds before. She is just the worst mother to her three-year-old daughter.

-Emily Lasky

I spent my fall break soaking up rays on Florida's Jupiter Island, at a friend's family pad sandwiched between a lovenest belonging to newlyweds Greg Norman and Chris Evert, and Tiger Woods' newest home/compound. Despite the geographic pedigree, our only company were skinks, Hispanic landscapers, and really, really, really old people.

-Sarah Beth McKay

I spent fall "break" in Washington, D.C. and attended the Maryland Renaissance Fair, only to discover that everything (even mac and cheese) is served on a stick, and that jousting isn't as cool as it seems.

-Taehoon Kim

I went to Baltimore with a bunch of other Penn kids for Alternate Fall Break, the lesser-known autumnal cousin of Alternate Spring Break. We visited a shelter, planted trees, went paddle-boating and stayed in a hostel that was arguably nicer than some of Penn's dorms.

-A publicity-shy Street editor

i was boring. i went to bed 3 out of the 4 days before 11 p.m. explored 52nd street on columbus day. most places were closed. saw a man take his pants off in cedar park. bought a lot of books and audio cassette tapes from africa. oh, also saw barack obama. a lady passed out in the midst of the crowd, most likely from his charm and good looks, no doubt. also discovered earth cup cafe on 45th and pine. delicious banana nut bread, so-so iced coffee. also most drug dealers were out of town? that actually was the highlight of my break, if we're going to be honest

-Johann Diedrick

Sure, Montreal is the coolest place on earth if you're getting into the hipster scene too late or a gourmand or interested in this week's Canadian election. But not when you spend the time fighting with your family over why you can't be great-aunt Ruthie's bitch or arguing over whether or not you're coming home for dinner or explaining how your need to go to the library should not induce a guilt trip or reminding your (grown-up) father to wear his removal cast so he doesn't break his leg again. I had a great fall break! Thanks for asking.

-A Street editor who does not want this to come up in his or her Google search results