A Remembrance of Shoutouts Past

Ah, Shoutouts, it's been too long!  For the uninitiated, Shoutouts are sort of a Street trademark, one of the things we are best known for around campus: they're basically a collection of anonymous, reader-submitted expressions of love/vitriol/both that we publish once a semester, and the meaner, the better.  Sometimes people worry that 34th Street has lost its edge, that we're just not as gloriously bitchy as we once were.  Each semester, Shoutouts reaffirm our place as the most cynical people around.

First of all, send your shoutouts in to street-shoutouts@dailypennsylvanian.com!  Send them now!  The deadline is tomorrow.

Last week the Lowbrow editors dedicated their apocalypse corner to teaching you how to write a shoutout, so we would like to take this opportunity to share some of our favorite shoutouts from over the years.  Taste in shoutouts vary--our managing editor has a preference for a certain one involving two types of blow, whereas we tend to like the ones that are about people we know or the ones that almost lead to litigation.  Some shoutouts are like wine in that they get better with age.  What we're trying to say is that shoutouts are an art, and that Street is the museum presenting them.  Or something.  Anyway, some favorites:

To the big-haired Tri-Delt who was called out in the Sweeper and was crying about it on the front porch of Beta: The 34th Street editorial staff was on the next porch. It could not have been more awkward… or more perfect.

Dear Penn boys: I have grown out my hair and no longer look like a lesbian. Anytime you want to get the hint would be greatly appreciated.

To the racially-confused Theta senior who took a pregnancy test in the Huntsman bathroom: Good luck figuring out who the father is.

To the squirrel that lives in my house: Thanks for leaving that apple core on my bed. I apologize now for trying to kill you.

To the mice that live in my house: The squirrel leaves me gifts. What do you have for me?

Remember, SEND IN YOUR SHOUTOUTS!  DO IT!