Love Sucks, But Your Valentine's Day Doesn't Have To

Penn kids are very smart. Which means they are inherently socially inept, especially when it comes to dealing with members of the opposite sex. But fear not -- I'm looking out for you, so on this Valentine's Day you can pull off some fairly normal human interaction. Or at least fake it really really well.

First off: do you have a date? If so, you're more than halfway there. If you buy someone dinner they're obligated to put out and vice versa. But if its the first time you're touching a living thing since that Bio dissection you did last semester, you're going to need a little guidance. The "base system" from the days of yore still applies, albeit with some additional nuances. The folks over at xkcd were kind enough to diagram it for y'all. (Click the image to enlarge it.)

You may want to print out a copy to bring along. You could even fasten it with one of these DIY-heart-shaped paperclips. Cuteness.

Dateless? Relax: you can potentially have way more fun than those poor saps stuck spending the night with someone they're attracted to in the hope of falling in love. Ok, maybe you can't have more fun than the lovebirds, but you can try. Howcast has plenty of helpful videos for just about everything, but you'll want to pay special attention to How To Make Your Coworkers Think You Have A Date On Valentine's Day immediately followed by How To Survive Valentine's Day Alone.

Phillyist recommends embracing your inner (or outer) nerd and making love to the library with the Coalition to Save the Libraries this weekend. Maybe you'll meet one of those super-hot librarians who will fix you with a sultry stare while begging you to "use your inside voice." How romantical.

For those of you who would prefer to stay inside and search for the love of your life on the Inter-webs, check out Yumbunny. TechCrunch describes the site as essentially crowd-sourcing your matchmaking -- your photo appears next to someone else, and other users vote on whether or not the two of you look like you would make a good couple. Hella efficient love-making.

How am I spending my Valentine's Day? No comment. However, I want your comments. Tell UTB about any interesting/creative plans you have for the day.