Wish We Were Under The Button: How We Spent V-Day

Happy President's Day!  We're going to celebrate by telling you how we spent that other holiday two days ago.

Smoked a bowl with my valentine. Well, I guess you could say smoked 2 bowls -- we each had our own. He wouldn't share with me because he didn't want to share germs. Thank you meningitis.

-Anonymous Street staffer

I spent the day watching final fantasy summon montages.

-Johann Diedrick

Sat alone in my house on the couch eating the granola pieces out of my Smart Start while trying to drown out the moans of my subletter Michael (an engineering student from Drexel) and one of his many "friends" with episodes of Curb.  (FML?)

-Becca Greenfield

3 chick flicks + 2 pints of Ben and Jerry's + 1 dose of Cipro= the best Valentine's Day EVER.

-Jess Spiegelman

Below you will find my initial intentions for Valentine's day: Wake up. Drink a double screw driver. Fall back asleep for another two hours. Wake up. Spend the next hour and a half at Pottruck. (This will prove relevant momentarily.) Read trashy magazines, with the Double Shot of Love marathon in the background. Proceed to consume an entire container of Betty Crocker frosting. Cat nap. Rediscover the beauty of a mini-fridge entirely dedicated to vodka and jello snacks. (Don't judge me, I'm writing a thesis.) Finally rally with a shower and 10 minutes of quality time with Carmen Elektra's strip work out video. Dinner with a gaggle of fabulously dressed, bitter, alcoholic single ladies. Pass the fuck out mid-meal. Get carried home. Wake up in the morning thinking, look on the bright side: I spent an hour and a half at Pottruck.

And here is what actually happened: Woke up. Got coffee. Joined the superfluous student health line for the meningitis pill. Ergo, no screw drivers, no vodka, no passing the fuck out mid-meal. Without the alcohol to justify this, no Crocker. Plus I can't have antacids. What the fuck. I'm a lactard. Oh, right, and no impulsive making out. And my birth control pill is ineffective for a week. So with a severe case of hypochondria, I practice the chin to the chest exercise repeatedly as I whip out my vibrator after a dairy-less, alcohol-less, dessert-less day. Eff you, meningitis.

-Carlin Adelson

My V-Day consisted of a dinner party for my single friends (appropriately themed "All The Single Ladies"). It ended with me scrubbing puke out of my carpet and cleaning up a broken lamp, the detritus of belligerently drunk singles. It was epic.

-Dennie Zastrow

I watched "I Heart Huckabees." Nothing says "I don't care about Valentine's Day" quite like existentialism.

-Adam Joseph Drici

Drank wine, ate chocolate, made voodoo dolls with my girlfriends. Seriously.

-Abby Schwartz

My mom visited and we hit up the Bridge's 4:10 showing of He's Just Not Into You. The theater was packed: Penn, I know your secret shame.

-Another publicity-shy Streetie

All I'm willing to say is that the drinking started at 6:15.  And I ended up being the only guy in a group of lonely single women. Bleak.

-Michael Gold

Off the record: I got stoned and watched Across The Universe. GREAT DECISION.

-A blogger who doesn't want this admission to sully his Google search results