DP Apparently Can't Tell Time, Does April Fools' Joke On April 8

Don't get the wrong idea people. We're not saying pulling out is a bad idea all the time (if you're only practicing safe sex "most of the time," it's probably a move you should master). If you are Akon, however, and your presence at Fling has been leaked, confirmed and promoted on this very blog, AND tickets for your concert cost a recession-unfriendly $30, you do not pull out of the Fling concert 11 days before you are slated to perform. You do not cite in The DP, as reasons for this sudden change of plans, "Penn's proximity to West Philadelphia and recent violent incidents surrounding the University - such as the shooting outside Philly Diner in February." That doesn't sound very hip-hop, but maybe that's because the real reason is that the self-proclaimed "player" doesn't want to put himself in proximity of a couple thousand drunk college girls. If he didn't pull out, we'd all obviously put out, and Akon can't let that happen: "Penn's just too dangerous, you know what I'm saying?"

Or maybe it's because the real reason is that it's a fake DP article. A week after April Fools' Day. Isn't that clever.